Slap it online: SLAP IT! Online – Demo

Slap Bass Course – Berklee Online

What is Berklee Online?

Berklee Online is the online school of Berklee College of Music, delivering access to Berklee’s acclaimed curriculum from anywhere in the world. We are the world’s largest online music school—30,000+ musicians from more than 140 countries have taken our courses—but classes cap at just 20 students per section.

What does Berklee Online offer?

Who is Berklee Online designed for?

Our programs provide lifelong learning opportunities to people interested in music and working in the music industry. The courses range from beginner to advanced graduate level.

What kind of subjects are taught?

Berklee Online offers more than 200 courses in every musical interest area: Everything from instruction on specific instruments (guitar, piano, bass, drums, voice) to music production software (Ableton, Pro Tools, Logic, and more) to larger concepts in music business, songwriting, theory, and composing for film, TV, and games

Do online students receive the benefits of an on-campus Berklee education?

Absolutely! Just like the students studying on Berklee’s Boston campus, Berklee Online students receive instruction from the same world-renowned faculty, with the added benefit of having music industry professionals from around the world teaching as well. You’ll also receive guidance from Berklee-trained Academic Advisors, and have the opportunity to walk at the Commencement ceremony in Boston with your cohort of graduates who studied online and in-person.

What is the process to apply for/enroll in a Berklee Online program or course?

Certificate programs and online courses are offered on an open enrollment basis. Simply complete the online enrollment form and provide payment prior to the course start date and you’re ready to go! Degree programs require an application and supporting documentation. See the Admission Requirements for more details.

Will I receive a Berklee ID and/or email address?

Berklee Online degree students are eligible to request a Berklee ID. Upon acceptance into the program, degree students are also given a email address.

Can I take non-credit courses in a certificate?

All courses in a certificate program must be taken for credit.

Can I waive some for-credit courses into a certificate?

Students must enroll in a certificate by paying the $175 certificate registration fee prior to completing the final course in the program. All for-credit courses that have been awarded a passing grade and that align with a certificate program may transfer into that program.

Can I upgrade from a lower-level certificate to a higher-level certificate?

Yes! Berklee Online offers two certificate options:

  1. CHANGE CERTIFICATE: When a student wants to change their lower-level certificate to a higher-level certificate (or vice versa) prior to the completion of the program. There are no additional fees for this option other than the cost of additional courses, and you will only earn one certificate upon completion.
  2. STARTING A NEW CERTIFICATE: When a student wants to earn more than one certificate by having the courses from their lower-level certificate waived into a higher-level certificate. In this case, an additional $175 registration fee is required.


Who teaches Berklee Online courses?

Berklee faculty and seasoned professionals teach our courses. Our instructors are recognized experts in their respective fields—they’ve produced and engineered hundreds of artists and numerous award-winning projects, and several of their students have gone on to earn GRAMMY Award nominations.

Financial Aid

Am I eligible for financial aid?

Financial assistance is available for Berklee Online degree programs. This assistance may come from a variety of sources including federal awards, outside scholarships, and private loans.

Federal financial aid is not available for non-degree programs. Non-degree students typically finance their costs out-of-pocket or with a private loan. Review our payment options.


What happens if I turn in my graduation application late? Do I still need to apply by December 1 even if I don’t want to walk in the Commencement ceremony?

Because we must coordinate with the Boston campus for Commencement, it is essential that students planning to walk in the ceremony submit their graduation application by 12:00 midnight ET on December 1. If you submit your application late, you will need to wait until the following year to walk.

We ask all students planning to graduate within the current academic year to apply for graduation by December 1, regardless of their plans to participate in Commencement. Late application for students who do not wish to walk will result in processing delays for your academic record and diploma, and your name may not be listed in the ceremony program.

What’s the difference between graduating and walking in Commencement?

Great question! Walking in Commencement and graduating are two separate things.

You can walk in Commencement when you are nine (9) credits or less away from completing your degree requirements by the end of the spring term. Please note: Berklee Online degree students are not required to walk in Commencement in Boston.

You graduate when you have met all of the following criteria:

  • Attained at least a 2.70 cumulative GPA in concentrate courses
  • Have a minimum cumulative GPA of 2. 00
  • Fulfilled all program requirements AND completed a minimum of 120 credits for a single major or 165 for a dual major
  • Completed a minimum of 60 institutional credits for a single major or 105 institutional credits for a dual major
  • Fulfilled all financial obligations to the college

Note Walking across the stage in Commencement does not mean that you have graduated. You will not officially graduate and receive your diploma until you meet all of the eligibility requirements.

I just finished my last term at Berklee Online! What happens next? Is there anything I need to do?

Congratulations on finishing! If you have already filled out a graduation application, you will want to double-check the “Graduation Checklist” to ensure you have taken care of all of the various items associated with graduating. If you have not filled out a graduation application, you will need to do that as soon as possible. You will not be able to graduate until we have received and processed your graduation application.

When will I get my diploma?

You will receive your diploma within 6-8 weeks of completing your degree requirements. Please keep in mind that instructors have up to two (2) weeks to submit final grades after the term concludes.

Diplomas are mailed to the address you include on your graduation application. If your mailing address changes after you have submitted your graduation application, be sure to update us at [email protected]

Keep in mind that if you are walking in Commencement, you will not receive your official diploma at the ceremony.

Transfer Credits

Can I find out how many transfer credits I am eligible for before I apply to the degree program?

If you are interested in applying to the Bachelor of Arts degree program and would like an estimate of the amount of transfer credit you would receive, you can request an unofficial transfer evaluation by emailing a copy of your transcript(s) to the Berklee Online Transfer Team at [email protected] Be sure to include your name, major of interest, and any additional questions you may have. You can expect to receive your assessment within 7-10 business days.

I didn’t receive credit on my Official Evaluation for all of the courses that I thought I would. What should I do?

The earlier you contact us with questions or concerns regarding your evaluation, the easier it will be for us to address any issues. Therefore, it is very important when you first receive your official transfer evaluation that you review the information carefully.

If you notice a remaining requirement that you believe you’ve already fulfilled, first consult our document on Common Reasons Credit Does Not Transfer. It’s possible that the course you are thinking of didn’t meet our eligibility requirements.

If none of those exclusions apply, please fill out a Transfer Credit Equivalency Re-evaluation form for the courses you wish to have reconsidered.

Sometimes, we are not able to locate specific information for a course online and we are not able to determine an equivalency, but we are always happy to review additional material which will help us make that determination.

Do my Berklee Online, Berklee campus, or Prior Learning Credit coursework count towards the 60 transfer credit limit?

No, credits completed at Berklee or through the prior learning process do not count towards the 60 transfer credit limit. This maximum is for credit-bearing exams and undergraduate-level coursework completed externally.

What is a credit deficiency and why do I need to make up credit?

Credit deficiencies are caused by transferring a course that is less than three (3) credits to fulfill a three (3) credit Berklee Online requirement. Students with a credit deficiency will be short of the minimum number of credits required to graduate once they have completed their program requirements. In order to be eligible to graduate, you will need to make up the credits you are deficient in.

While the Transfer Team does their best to avoid giving students credit deficiencies, it is not always possible. You can make up the credits you are deficient in by completing additional Berklee Online coursework, by applying for prior learning credit, or by completing additional external coursework in the area in which you are deficient.

Note all external courses will first need to be approved by the Transfer Team.

Can transfer credit fulfill prerequisites?

It depends. Generally, transfer credit cannot be used to fulfill prerequisites unless we determine that the course you completed is a direct equivalent to one of the courses we offer at Berklee Online. Keep in mind that there are some courses which require you to pass a placement exam. For these you will need to achieve a passing grade on the test to fulfill the prerequisite, otherwise you will need to complete the appropriate Berklee Online course.

Can I transfer credits to Berklee Online after I have started the degree program?

Yes, you can. To determine if the coursework you already completed or are considering taking is eligible to fulfill your remaining degree requirements, contact the Transfer Team at [email protected]

I am a Berklee campus student. Can I transfer courses from Berklee Online to my campus-based program?

Are Berklee Online courses transferable to other institutions?

Berklee Online is regionally accredited by the New England Commission of Higher Education (NECHE), the same association that accredits our main campus and other leading academic institutions such as Harvard University and MIT. Our courses are transferable to other institutions, but it’s up to the receiving institution to decide the number and types of courses that may transfer. We recommend getting a course pre-approved by an institution before enrolling.


How do Berklee Online’s costs compare to other education options?

Berklee Online’s programs have a tuition cost that is approximately 64 percent less than on-campus tuition at Berklee’s Boston campus. Moreover, a recent study revealed that the average annual tuition at for-profit colleges is more than twice as expensive as Berklee Online. Even average annual tuition at other accredited non-profit online universities is roughly $11,000 more expensive than tuition for a year with Berklee Online!

There is a one time $175 registration fee per certificate program. Students may either pay per course term (at the $1,497 per credit course cost) or pay in full to receive a 10 percent discount. The registration fee and all courses for the term you wish to begin in must be paid in full in order to begin.

Online undergraduate degree tuition is $59,160 for 120 credits for all majors except the guitar major. Tuition for the guitar major is $63,660. Students taking 10 courses per year can complete the degree in four years at a cost of $14,790 per year. (Note: Tuition and fees are subject to change.)

Online graduate degree tuition is $33,120 for 36 credits. The Master of Music in Music Production and Master of Arts in Music Business programs are designed to be completed in one year of study. Both programs are comprised of 12 three-credit courses that can be taken during four 12-week semesters.

What is included in the cost of a course?

The cost for an individual course includes the tuition fee. The cost of required books, hardware or software must be purchased separately, unless it is stated that these costs are included with your enrollment. Some courses may include additional fees for files or content.

How to Play Slap Bass – Berklee Online Take Note

The following is excerpted from lesson 1 of Slap Bass Lines by Joe Santerre.

Slap Technique

Let’s talk about developing your slap technique, and the suggestions that will help you maintain an even overall sound:

  1. Be precise with thumb attacks.
  2. Only hit the string you want to sound.
  3. Muting strings is critical.
  4. Muted thumb attacks should be struck with the same intensity as sounded notes.
  5. Pull attacks should not be louder or more intense than thumb attacks.

For our purposes here, slap techniques are labeled as follows:

T Thumb attack
X Dead note (String attacked as indicated, but not allowed to ring. These are notated using the open string on which they are attacked.)
U Thumb-up stroke (thumb pulls up from under the string)
S Slide
H Hammer on (no attack with slapping hand)
P Pull string with first or second finger
L Lift finger from previous note to the note with the L above it

Slurs show when notes are sounded without a right-hand attack, as in hammers, slides, and lifts. Only the first note of a slurred group is articulated with the right hand.

One-Chord Slap Grooves

The examples below are basic slap grooves. Keep on practicing them and you’ll notice significant improvement in your slapping. Listen closely to your attacks and your overall sound. One of the most challenging aspects of playing slap bass is maintaining an even, full, clear sound. Of course, you can do some experimenting with the sound by adjusting the control knobs on your bass and your amp, but a good sound always starts with your hands.

This lesson will use eighth-note grooves, focusing on the root and octave of the given chord. To hear more of this type of bass playing, listen to artists such as Sly & the Family Stone and Larry Graham.

Thumb, Pull, and Muted Notes

T Thumb slap. Use a down-stroke attack with your thumb. These are generally the lower notes of a slap-bass line.

P Pull. Use your index finger to pull up on the string and sound the note. Pulled notes are generally the higher notes of the slap line.

X Muted. Use your left hand to mute or “choke” the note. These are notated on any of the open strings. You can play a muted note with regular fingering, or with a thumb slap, pull, or hammer.


Example 1

Tuning Notes: E, A, D, and G strings, each played twice.

Example 2

Example 3

Example 4

Example 5

Example 6

Example 7

Example 8

Example 9

Hammer on the muted notes in this example.

Write Your Own

In the following blank measures, write your own bass grooves for the chord indicated. Remember, the goal is to outline the chord; start with the root, 5th, and octave. Model your own rhythms after those used in the examples.

Easy Does It


The Bass Wizard’s Slap Bass Mastery Course

For one, because I’ve taught several students that were in that exact same situation and completely transformed their playing in a short amount of time with my method.

But also because learning to play this stuff did NOT come naturally for me at all.

It took me YEARS until I finally started making any progress. And the reason, as I found out after many years of struggling, was because I didn’t have the right information right from the start.

I spent years playing completely wrong and developing bad habits on the instrument that were only getting me further from accomplishing my goal.

When I first started playing and learning all this stuff there was no such thing as YouTube or videos. I had nothing but a CD player, so I couldn’t even SEE how these guys were doing it. I was just trying to figure it all out by ear, which is what led to a lot of my poor technique and bad habits early on.

And while Fast Internet and Videos should have made it easier than ever for people to learn and not make the same mistakes I did, it didn’t because literally ANYONE can post a video lesson or tutorial, and if they come up when you search for a lesson, you’ll watch their video and learn what they’re teaching you without even questioning it.

What if they are teaching you poor technique? 

What if they are teaching you the exact techniques that held me back from mastering this style for so many years?

Which videos should you watch first? Where do you start? What do you watch next?

Not having any structure or order in your learning is like reading a book out of order.

Imagine if you bought a book to learn a certain skill, and instead of reading it from the first page to the last, you just opened it on a random page.

Then after reading that page, you jumped to another random page. And you kept doing this over and over again…

How much would you learn from that book? Would you actually learn anything, or would it only leave you frustrated and confused?

There is a reason why schools and colleges have curriculums and lesson plans. That is the only way to learn something efficiently and is a big part of what you are paying for.

So with that in mind, the next logical step is finding a private teacher in your area. But again… how do you find someone that is actually qualified to teach you? What if you live in an area that doesn’t have many professional bass players?

And at $50 an hour, how many lessons are you going to need to learn all this stuff? The cost can really add up. I personally have invested hundreds of thousands into my bass education. Between all the private teachers I had growing up and my time at Berklee College of Music, I’ve studied with over 40 teachers and spent a lot of money and time getting all this information.

And I’ll be honest, I’ve thought the same thing.

But after getting so many messages from people who watch my YouTube videos, who are in the same position that I was once, who are asking me to teach them and to show them how I play, I decided it was finally time that I packaged this information and put it out into the world so that others can also benefit from it and learn a lot faster, with a lot less frustration and for a lot less money than I did.

Slap Bass Lines – Berklee Labs


Berklee Labs

Publisher: Berklee Press Publications

Format: Softcover Audio Online


Joe Santerre

Learn the art of creating a solid slap bass groove. Whether you’re an aspiring or seasoned bassist, this workshop will teach you many of the slap bass lines and styles found in your favorite rock, funk and jazz tunes, and inspire you to experiment with your own creations. Includes helpful exercises, strategies for locking in with the drummer, tips for reading chord symbols, standard notation & tab, a list of suggested recordings to check out, and accompanying audio with play-along tracks.

Audio is accessed online using the unique code inside the book and can be streamed or downloaded. The audio files include PLAYBACK+, a multi-functional audio player that allows you to slow down audio without changing pitch, set loop points, change keys, and pan left or right.



Inventory #HL 50449508

ISBN: 9780634021442

UPC: 073999938562

Width: 9. 0″
Length: 12.0″

72 pages

Prices and availability subject to change without notice.

Slappin’: A Complete Study of Slap Technique for Bass Book + Online Audio/Video

Product Number:



Book + Online Audio/Video

Skill Level:


Notation Type:





Saddle Stitched


8.75 x 11.75






Value Line


Mel Bay Publications, Inc.

Date Published:


Gleaned from years of teaching, performance, and listening experience -bass players at all levels will benefit from studying the numerous exercises, grooves, and musical examples offered in this book. Whether you are into funk, R&B, fusion, jazz, rock, punk, reggae, alternative music, or any other style; the slap technique will find a niche in your bass playing vocabulary. Chapter headings include: Technique, Hammer-Ons and Pull-Offs, Ghost Notes, Left Hand Slap, Open Strings, Double Slap, Double Stops, Double Pops, Other Licks and Tricks, and Advanced Grooves & Solos Using All Techniques. The author strongly advises the student to play each lesson slowly until the exercise or principle being illustrated is thoroughly mastered. Written in notation and tablature. Includes access to online audio and video.


Hamer-ons and Pull-Offs

Ghost Notes

Left Hand Slap

Open Strings

Double Slap

Double Stops

Double Pops

Other Licks and Tricks

Advanced Grooves & Solos Using All Techniques


Get the extra files for your Mel Bay book by clicking the “Download Extras” button below.

The .zip file contains all of the extras you will need to help you learn from your Mel Bay book. Once it is downloaded to your computer, double-click the file to open.
You can find out more about .zip files here.

If you are having trouble opening or downloading this file, please contact us.

Intro to Slap Bass: The Pop

Ian is back in this installment of Intro to Slap Bass, now introducing the “pop” half of slap-and-pop. Learn tools to execute this popular bass technique and get the full effect of how this sound can transform your playing. The Slap Bass technique adds a percussive quality and characteristic to note sounds in modern bass lines. These sounds can be heard in virtually all styles of modern music from rock and pop, to funk, folk, jazz, and more!

Ian gets into the details to provide clear and comprehensive instruction to execute this flawlessly. Popping will be combined with slapping in this lesson, with an emphasis placed on lifting off of the previous note played, giving separation between the notes. Great care will be taken to make sure students are executing this correctly, as bad habits will likely stunt the development of the technique. Modern bass line examples will be used by popular artists.

Topics covered include: Posture, wrist technique, slapping, popping and index finger technique, thumb technique, chromatic notes, octaves, left hand muting, phrasing, technique, stylistic interpretation, groove, funky song examples!

This class is perfect for: Students with basic experience with slap technique or who have completed “Intro to Slap Bass: The Slap”, and also bass players new to the technique of slap-and-pop. Fans of funk, RnB, soul, and gospel music will benefit from this course. Basic understanding of reading rhythms will be helpful, however tabs will be provided for those who can’t read notation.

After this class, you will be able to: Pop strings, play consecutive notes on a popped string, combine popping with slapping to play “disco octaves. ” Real-world examples will be used, so don’t be surprised if you’re playing some funky bass after this class.

Skills required: (scale from 1-low to 5-high)

  • Slapping = 2
  • Muting = 2
  • Left-right hand sync = 2
  • Position shifts = 2
  • Reading = 2

Read The Slap Online Read Free Novel

  Table of Contents


  Title Page

  Copyright Page











  Praise for THE SLAP by Christos Tsiolkas

  ‘The best politicians are those who can instinctively divine the zeitgeist of their country’s centre. For the ones who can’t, I would place The Slap as mandatory bedside table reading. It’s a perfect social document. . . . More importantly, it’s also a hell of a read.’

  —The Australian

  ‘The Slap is that rare and mesmerising combination of master storytelling and brilliant characterisation. . . . The eloquence, pathos and ruthless honesty of this new novel make it an unsettling, but thoroughly enjoyable and rewarding read.’

  —Readings Newsletter

  ‘A contemporary Australian masterpiece.’

  —Australian Bookseller + Publisher

  ‘With The Slap, Christos Tsiolkas secures his place as one of Australia’s most important novelists. . . . It is thrilling to have our life reflected back at us so accurately. . . . Tsiolkas has written an absolute ripper.’

  —The Age

  ‘One of the year’s most-talked-about novels. It is about all of those prickly things in life: marriage, love, sex, race, friendship, food, and drugs. . . . The Slap is at times a disturbing book, but it is also funny and endearing, presenting the diversity of the Australian experience with a big, warm heart in the middle.’

  —The Independent Weekly

  ‘A controversial and daring novel, The Slap uses the iconic scene of a suburban Australian barbecue to examine identities and personal relationships in a multicultural society. Offering points of view from eight different characters, it taps into universal tensions and dilemmas around family life and child-rearing. This book is sure to challenge readers and provoke debate.’

  —Committee for the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize 2009


  CHRISTOS TSIOLKAS is the author of Loaded, which was made into the feature film Head-On, The Jesus Man, and Dead Europe, which won the 2006 Age Fiction Prize and the 2006 Melbourne Best Writing Award. The Slap was shortlisted for the Miles Franklin Award, and won the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize, the Australian Booksellers Award for Book of the Year, and the Australian Literary Society’s Gold Medal. Tsiolkas is also a playwright, essayist, and screenwriter. He lives in Melbourne.


  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A.

  Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto,

  Ontario, Canada M4P 2Y3 (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc. )

  Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd)

  Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia

  (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd)

  Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi–110 017, India

  Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632,

  New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd)

  Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank,

  Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

  Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  First published in Australia by Allen & Unwin 2008

  Published in Penguin Books 2010

  Copyright © Christos Tsiolkas, 2008

  All rights reserved


  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of

  the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons,

  living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.


  Tsiolkas, Christos, 1965–

  The slap / Christos Tsiolkas.

  p. cm.

  eISBN : 978-1-101-43216-7

  1. Families—Australia—Fiction. 2. Suburban life—Australia—Fiction.

  3. Interpersonal relations—Fiction. I. Title.

  PR9619.3.T786S53 2010

  823’.914—dc22 2009050139

  The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

  for Jane Palfreyman, who is sui generis


  His eyes still shut, a dream dissolving and already impossible to recall, Hector’s hand sluggishly reached across the bed. Good. Aish was up. He let out a victorious fart, burying his face deep into the pillow to escape the clammy methane stink. I don’t want to sleep in a boy’s locker room, Aisha would always complain on the rare, inadvertent moments when he forgot himself in front of her. Through the years he had learned to rein his body in, to allow himself to only let go in solitude; farting and pissing in the shower, burping alone in the car, not washing or brushing his teeth all weekend when she was away at conferences. It was not that his wife was a prude, she just seemed to barely tolerate the smells and expressions of the male body. He himself would have no problem falling asleep in a girl’s locker room, surrounded by the moist, heady fragrance of sweet young cunt. Afloat, still half-entrapped in sleep’s tender clutch, he twisted onto his back and shifted the sheet off his body. Sweet young cunt. He’d spoken out loud.


  At the thought of her, sleep surrendered its grip on him. Aish would think him a pervert if she had overheard him. But he was definitely not that. He simply loved women. Young, old, those just starting to blossom and those beginning to fade. And sheepishly, almost embarrassed at his own vanity, he knew that women loved him. Women loved him.

  Get up, Hector, he said to himself. Time for the routine.

  The routine was a series of exercises that he executed without fail 7 every morning. At most, it never lasted more than twenty minutes. Occasionally, if he woke with a headache or hangover, or with a combination of both, or simply with an ennui that seemed to issue from deep within what he could only assume to be his soul, he managed to complete it all in under ten minutes. It was not strict adherence to the routine that mattered but simply ensuring its completion—even when he was sick, he would force himself to do it. He would rise, grab a pair of track-pants, throw on the T-shirt he’d worn the previous day and then perform a series of nine stretches, each of which he would hold to a count of thirty. Then he would lie on the rug in the bedroom and perform one hundred and fifty sit-ups, and fifty push-ups. He’d finish with a final set of three stretches. Then he’d go to the kitchen and switch on the coffee percolator before walking to the milk bar at the end of the street to buy the newspaper and a packet of cigarettes. Back home, he would pour himself a coffee, walk out onto the back verandah, light a smoke, turn to the sports pages, and begin to read. In that moment, with the newspaper spread before him, the whiff of bitter coffee in his nostrils, the first hit of sharp tobacco smoke, whatever the miseries, petty bullshits, stresses and anxieties of the day before or the day ahead, none of it mattered. In that moment, and if only in that moment, he was ha


  Hector had discovered from childhood that the only way to challenge the inert, suffocating joy of sleep was to barrel right through it, to force open his eyes and jump straight out of the bed. But for once, he lay back on his pillow and allowed the sounds of his family to gently bring him to complete wakefulness. Aisha had the kitchen stereo turned to an FM classical music station, and Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony was flooding the house. From the lounge room, he could hear the electronic squeaks and tinny reverb of a computer game. He lay still for a moment, then threw back the sheet and looked down at his naked body. He raised his right foot and watched it crash back on the bed. Today’s the day, Hector, he told himself, today’s the day. He leapt out of bed and put on a pair of red Y-fronts, pulled a singlet over his head, took a long, loud piss in the ensuite, and stormed into the kitchen. Aisha was breaking eggs over a frying pan and he kissed her neck. The kitchen smelt of coffee. He switched off the radio in mid-crescendo.

  ‘Hey, I was listening to that.’

  Hector flicked through a nest of CDs stacked clumsily next to the CD player. He pulled a disc out of its case and put it into the machine. He pushed through the numbers till he found the track he wanted, then smiled as the first confident notes of Louis Armstrong’s trumpet began to sound. He kissed his wife’s neck again.

  ‘It’s got to be Satchmo today,’ he whispered to her. ‘It’s got to be “West End Blues”.’

  He performed his exercises slowly, counting up to thirty in slow, measured breaths. Between each set he swayed to the slow-building sensual progression of the jazz music. He made sure that with every sit-up he felt the tightening of the muscles in his belly, and with every push-up, he was conscious of the pull of the muscles on his triceps and pecs. He wanted to be alert to his body today. He wanted to know that it was alive, strong and prepared.

  On finishing, he wiped the sweat from his brow, picked his shirt off the floor where he had flung it the night before, and slipped his feet into his sandals.

  ‘Want anything from the shop?’

  Aisha laughed at him. ‘You look like a bum.’

  She would never leave the house without make-up or proper clothes on. Not that she used much make-up; she had no need to—it was one of the things that very early on had attracted him to her. He had never been fond of girls who wore thickly applied foundation, powder and lipstick. He thought it was sluttish, and even though he was aware of the ridiculous conservatism of his response, he could not bring himself to admire a heavily painted woman, no matter how objectively beautiful she might be. Aisha didn’t need the assistance of make-up. Her dark skin was supple, unblemished, and her large, deep-set, obliquely sloping eyes shone in her long, lean, sculptured face.

  Hector looked down at his slippers, and smiled. ‘So can this bum get you anything from the shop?’

  She shook her head. ‘Nah. But you’re going to the markets this morning, aren’t you?’

  ‘I said I would, didn’t I?’

  She glanced up at the kitchen clock. ‘You better hurry.’

  He said nothing to her, irritated by her comment. He didn’t want to hurry this morning. He wanted to take it slow and easy.

  He picked up the Saturday paper and threw a ten-dollar note on the counter. Mr Ling had already reached for the gold packet of Peter Jackson Super Milds but Hector stopped him.

  ‘No, not today. Today I want a packet of Peter Styuvesant Reds. The soft pack. Make it two packs.’ Hector took back the ten-dollar note and placed a twenty on the counter.

  ‘You change smoke?’

  ‘My last day, Mr Ling. This is going to be my last day of smoking.’

  ‘Very good.’ The old man was smiling at him. ‘I smoke three a day only. One in morning, one after dinner and one when I finish in shop.’

  ‘I wish I could do that.’ But the last five years had been a carousel of stopping and then starting again, promising himself that he could smoke five a day, why not, five a day would not do much damage; but he could not stop himself rushing through to the end of the pack. Every time. He envied the old Chinese guy. He’d love to be able to smoke three, four, five a day. But he couldn’t. Cigarettes were like a malignant lover to him. He would find the resolve, soak his pack under the tap and chuck it in the bin, determined to never smoke again. He had tried cold turkey, hypnotism, patches, gum; maybe, for a few days, a week, once even a month, he could resist all temptations. But then he would sneak a cigarette at work or at the pub or after a dinner, and immediately he would fall back into the arms of his spurned lover. And her revenge was exacting. He would be back to worshipping her, not able to get through the morning without her. She was irresistible. Then one Sunday morning, when the kids were at his parents’ and he and Aisha had a graceful morning of slow, easy, delightful sex, and he’d wrapped his arms around her and whispered, I love you, you are my greatest joy, you are my greatest commitment, she’d turned around with a sardonic smile and replied, No I’m not, cigarettes are your true love, cigarettes are your true commitment.

  The fight was cruel and exhausting—they’d screamed at each other for hours. She had wounded him, shattered his pride, especially when he’d been mortified to realise that it was only his feverish sucking on cigarettes that had allowed him any measure of control in the argument. He’d accused her of being self-righteous and a middle-class puritan and she had snapped back with a litany of his weaknesses: he was lazy and vain, passive and selfish, and he lacked any will-power. Her accusations hurt because he knew them to be true.

  And so he resolved to quit. To really quit this time. He didn’t bother telling her; he couldn’t bear her scepticism. But he was going to quit.

  The morning was warm and he stripped down to his singlet as he sat down at the verandah table with his coffee. As soon as he had lit the cigarette, Melissa flew out of the back door and ran screaming into his arms.

  ‘Adam won’t let me play.’ She was howling, and he dropped her onto his lap and stroked her face. He let her cry till she was spent. He didn’t need this, didn’t want this, not this morning of all mornings. He wanted the cigarette in peace. There was never enough peace. But he played with his daughter’s hair, kissed her on her forehead, waited for her tears to end. He stubbed out his cigarette and Melissa watched the smoke extinguish.

  ‘You shouldn’t smoke, Daddy. It causes cancer.’

  She was parroting admonishments she had learnt at school. His kids struggled with their eight times tables but they knew smoking gave you lung cancer and that unprotected sex caused venereal disease. He stopped himself from scolding her. Instead, he picked her up and carried her into the lounge room. Adam was intent on his computer game and did not look up.

  Hector drew a breath. He wanted to kick the lazy little bastard but instead he plunked his daughter next to his son and grabbed the game console from the boy.

  ‘It’s your sister’s turn.’

  ‘She’s a baby. She’s no good.’

  Adam had wrapped his arms tight around himself and glared rebelliously at his father, his soft belly bulging over the waistband of his jeans. Aisha insisted that his puppyfat would disappear in adolescence but Hector wasn’t convinced. The boy was obsessed with screens: with his computer, with television, with his PlayStation. His sluggishness unnerved Hector. He had always taken pride in his own good looks and fit body; as an adolescent he’d been a pretty good footballer and an even better swimmer. He could not help but see his son’s corpulence as a slight. He was sometimes embarrassed to be seen with Adam in public. Aware of the scandalous nature of such thoughts, he’d never revealed them to anyone. But he could not help feeling disappointed, and he seemed always to be telling off his son. Do you have to sit in front of the TV all day? It’s a great day, why don’t you play outside? Adam’s response was to be silent, to sulk, and this only fed Hector’s exasperation. He had to bite his lip to not insult the child. Occasionally Adam would glance up at him with a look of such hurt bewilderment Hector would feel a crushing shame.

br />   ‘Come on, mate, give your sister a go.’

  ‘She’ll wreck it.’


  The boy threw the console onto the floor, rose unsteadily to his feet, and stormed off to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

  Grabbing her father’s hand, Melissa stared after him. ‘I want to play.’ She was crying again.

  ‘Play by yourself.’

  ‘I want to play with Adam.’

  Hector fingered the cigarette pack in his pocket.

  ‘It’s fair that you have time to play video games as well. Adam was being unfair. He’ll come and play with you in a few minutes, just wait and see.’ He was keeping his voice deliberately even, almost making a sing-song childish rhythm of the platitudes. But Melissa would not be pacified.

  ‘I want to play with Adam,’ she wailed, and gripped tighter onto his hand. His first instinct was to push her away from him. Guilty, he tenderly stroked the little girl’s hair and kissed the top of her head.

  ‘Do you want to come to the market with me?’

  The wailing had stopped but Melissa was not yet prepared to concede defeat. She stared miserably at the door that Adam had slammed behind him.

  Hector shook his hand free from hers. ‘It’s your choice, sweetheart. You can stay here and play video games by yourself or you can come with me to the market. Which would you prefer?’

  The girl did not answer.

  ‘Right.’ Hector shrugged his shoulders and put a cigarette to his lips. ‘Your choice.’ He walked out to the kitchen with her renewed cries following him.

  Aisha was wiping her hands dry. She indicated the clock.


Film Spank Her, She’s French (2002) watch online for free in good quality

Baldwin proposed to limit the use of military weapons on the set

Baldwin advocated replacing real weapons on set with plastic ones. At the same time, he noted that the death of an operator from a bullet is a one-in-a-trillion accident.

October 31, 2021

Egypt closed the hotel in which Russian tourists were poisoned

The authorities of Hurghada closed the AMC Royal hotel for two days, where there was a mass poisoning of tourists, said Russian Consul General in Hurghada Viktor Voropaev.According to various information, from 10 to 30 people were hospitalized.

October 31, 2021

Vucic linked Russian gas prices to salary increases in Serbia

Serbian President Aleksandar Vucic believes that the country can count on a greater increase in wages and pensions if it manages to agree on low prices for gas from Russia. According to him, now Serbia has the lowest gas prices and they are lower “only in Moldova and Ukraine”.

October 31, 2021

The media reported on the poisoning of Russian tourists in a hotel in Hurghada

A stay in a hotel in the Egyptian resort of Hurghada ended with poisoning for almost 30 Russian tourists. This is reported on Saturday, October 30, “RIA Novosti” with reference to a relative of one of the vacationers.

October 31, 2021

Saakashvili’s party was defeated in the elections in Georgia

Candidates from the ruling Georgian Dream – Democratic Georgia party are leading in Tbilisi and other four large cities – Batumi, Kutaisi, Poti and Rustavi.

October 31, 2021

G20: World Leaders Approve Corporate Tax Ceilings

The leaders of the twenty largest economies in the world have approved an international agreement, according to which the profits of large businesses will be taxed at least 15%. Thus, the G20 countries want to ensure that multinational companies pay more taxes, rather than evade them by declaring profits offshore.

October 31, 2021

Day in history: 31 October

Halloween, the birth of the 7 billionth inhabitant of the Earth, the opening of the Tsarskoye Selo Lyceum and other interesting events of this day.

October 31, 2021

The Ministry of Health called the use of fake QR codes self-deception

The use of fake QR codes confirming coronavirus vaccination or past illness is deceiving yourself and everyone around you. This opinion was voiced by the deputy head of the Ministry of Health Sergei Glagolev during his visit to the Nizhny Novgorod region, according to the website of the regional government.

October 30, 2021

The Russian government approved new payments due to non-working days

The Government of the Russian Federation approved the payment of new subsidies to small and medium-sized businesses, socially oriented NGOs and banks in connection with non-working days. The corresponding decision, adopted within the framework of the presidential decree, is reported on the website of the Cabinet.

October 30, 2021

Coup in Sudan: Thousands protest military takeover, three killed.

In Sudan, thousands of demonstrators against the military coup are taking place on Saturday.According to civil society activists, at least three protesters were shot dead by the military and dozens were injured.

October 30, 2021

Astronauts on the ISS were able to view Versailles

The largest elements of the palace and park ensemble are visible from space.

October 30, 2021

Zyuganov pointed to the proceedings from the Communist Party of the Russian Federation in the Rashkin case

The Communist Party of the Russian Federation is currently investigating the situation with the State Duma deputy from the Communist Party of the Russian Federation Valery Rashkin, who was suspected of illegal elk hunting.This was announced on Saturday, October 30, by the party leader Gennady Zyuganov.

October 30, 2021

Scientists have compiled a map of the polar lights for 3 thousand years

The zones in which they were observed changed over time.

October 30, 2021

Murashko announced a four-fold increase in the rate of vaccination against coronavirus

The number of people coming to get vaccinated against coronavirus has quadrupled in the past week and a half.This was stated by the head of the Ministry of Health Mikhail Murashko, TASS reports.

October 30, 2021

Light columns were spotted in the Sverdlovsk region

A beautiful atmospheric phenomenon.

October 30, 2021

Putin said Russia’s budget will be in surplus in 2021

In 2020, the RF budget deficit increased to 4% of GDP, and this year the budget will be in surplus. Russian President Vladimir Putin spoke about this at a meeting of the G20 summit via videoconference.

October 30, 2021

The government approved the bill for the receipt of mother capital by fathers

The Russian government approved a draft federal law that allows fathers to receive maternity capital in the event of the death of the mother of children.

October 30, 2021

The case was opened against a resident of St. Petersburg for a half-naked photo against the background of the cathedral

The woman faces a sentence of imprisonment for up to one year.

October 30, 2021

Putin called for accelerating mutual recognition of vaccines by countries

Russian President Vladimir Putin proposed to instruct the ministries of health of the G20 states to work out as soon as possible the issue of mutual recognition of national vaccine certificates. He announced this via videoconference during his speech at the G20 summit.

October 30, 2021

Cases of “virgin breeding” of Californian condors found in the USA

Scientists intend to continue DNA analysis in search of other non-obvious cases of parthenogenesis in birds.

October 30, 2021

90,000 Review of the movie “Spank Her, She’s French”

Shot from the movie “Spank her, she is French”

But high school students in provincial Texas live, of course, better than high school students from Khakassia. They have beauty contests in ball gowns, home receptions for a hundred people, their own TV studio at school with news and music, and a football team with cheerleaders. Only, as in any Khakassia, in all classes in Texas there are “basic” boys and girls, there is an environment, and there is “sucks”.And it seemed that the “main” this time was extremely nasty. Starla (Jane McGregor, MTV star) dreamed of becoming a national TV star, looked in the mirror all the time, wondered and pretended. And she had everything – a cheerleader captain, a beauty queen, a school studio host, and rich parents, and a boyfriend – the captain of the football players. At first, no one is averse to seeing such a disgusting punishment for selfishness. When an exchange Frenchwoman appears in the house, bespectacled orphan Genevieve in an idiotic beret (Piper Perabo, Coyote Ugly Bar), you expect that in the end justice will prevail.Genevieve lowers Starla all the time in order to get up herself, and she endures everything, wretched. Dress her well, paint her brighter, let her go to the ball, let her perform in French and a crystal shoe – there will be Cinderella, and every prince will reach out to her, and everyone will forget the nasty one.

Still from the movie “Spank her, she is French”

The main catch of the film is that this is how it happens, only the true story of the Cinderellas is not for the first time a little more cunning than that of Charles Perrault. In obsolete Russian, they were called “vtirusha”, and the satirist Averchenko once wrote a whole novel about them.The novel “Doll” was only about a wretched kid. Here – girly, but very similar in plot and genre. Calmly, as if nothing had happened, Genevieve put on the naivety, on the childishness of someone’s selfishness, since she herself had never been a child. As it turns out in the finale – from the funny four years. Well, it is very interesting to watch further, because everything was invented calmly, unpretentiously, but for sure, for sure. You recognize yourself directly.

Still from the movie “Spank her, she is French”

Of course, half a century ago you could recognize yourself in the classic Hollywood “All About Eve” by Mankiewicz, but there was pure drama and more and more complex, individual, era and circumstances.Now this would not be removed, because adult dramas over the past half century have become about something completely different, including the ubiquitous and universal punk as a matter of course. And here it looks like comic twists – a poisonous mushroom mixed into a milkshake, a sharp knife thrown into a school bag, a couple of confused cassettes – but they all work seriously. The point is that we are talking about children, about the first, solitary Podlian experience. How you get handed over, how you understand everything and how nothing can be done if this is not a movie.Just lovely.

Still from the movie “Spank her, she is French”

In the cinema, of course, everything will be done, and quite witty (the imperturbable younger brother is especially good), and the very caustic meaning will be softened by “youth” jokes, but satire cannot be hidden when it is good.

Simple but tasteful Piper Perabo, Jane McGregor and Melanie Myron answered the question “What did this book teach you?”

90,000 Spank her, she’s French – that’s … What is Spank her, she’s French?

Spank her, she’s French
Slap Her… She’s French



Melanie Myron


Matthias Emke,
Beau Flynn,
Jonathan King

of script

Lamar Damon,
Robert Lee King


Piper Perabo,
Jane McGregor,
Trent Ford,
Julie White,
Brandon Smith,
Jesse James,
Nikki Aycox,
Alexandra Adi,
Matt Zakri,
Kristen Coppen


Charles Minsky


Christoph Beck,
David Michael Frank

Film Company

Winchester Films


84 minutes


$ 10,000,000




ID 0187512

View Online

Only in Russia:

Spank Her, She’s French Released (original title Slap Her… She’s French)

“Slap Her, She’s French” (Eng. Slap Her … She’s French ) is a 2002 comedy by Melanie Myron starring Piper Perabo. The film premiered on January 31, 2002.

The slogan of the film is “ A high school comedy with a French twist ”.


Starla Grady is the most popular girl in school, the beauty queen of a small Texas town, and also the captain of the cheerleading group.One day a surprise falls on her head – the Frenchwoman Genevieve Le Plouff, who transferred to her school for cultural exchange. Starla helps the new girl. She considers Genevieve to be a naive, kind ugly woman, but then realizes that she was deeply mistaken. After all, Genevieve takes the “throne” of Starla, quickly finds a common language with her parents, takes her boyfriend away, substitutes her for a French lesson … Starla instantly loses everything that was the meaning of her life. But then she realizes how stupid and narrow-minded she was before.


  • Piper Perabo – Genevieve , antagonist
  • Jane McGregor – Starla , protagonist
  • Trent Ford – Ed Mitchell
  • Julie White – Bootsy Grady
  • Brandon Smith – Ernie Grady
  • Jesse James – Randolph Grandy
  • Nikki Aycox – Tanner Jennings
  • Alexandra Adi – Ashley Lopez
  • Matt Zackri – Kyle Fuller
  • Kristen Coppen – Doreen Gilmore


Paradise Video released the film on DVD on April 13, 2010.


Smack That – Akon lyrics

And just kick it like Tae-Bo

And possibly bend you over

Look back and watch me

Smack that, all on the floor

Smack that, give me some more

Smack that, ’til you get sore

Smack that, oh-ohhh-oh-ohh

Smack that, all on the floor

Smack that, give me some more

Smack that, ’til you get sore

Smack that, oh-ohhh- oh-ohh

Shorty, if you wanna ride, you can ride on me

We can bump heads and collide on me

Want beef? Damn right, can rely on me

To bring that Campbell like Naomi

Just pull that girl and take it on easy

Lookin ‘all oiled-up and all greasy

‘ Bout that time you stop that teasin ‘

Way that you drop done got me here cheesin ‘

What’s funny is that you takin’ all my money for real

I’d rather spend it on you right now than my homie’s bail

And I can see that’s what you ‘ re made fo ‘

And ain’t ever been no lame ho

With that booty bought and paid fo’

Won’t move ’til you on my payroll

I feel you creepin’

I can see it from my shadow

Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo

Maybe go to my place

And just kick it like Tae-Bo

And possibly bend you over

Look back and watch me

Smack that, all on the floor

Smack that, give me some more

Smack that, ’til you get sore

Smack that, oh-ohhh-oh-ohh

Smack that, all on the floor

Smack that, give me some more

Smack that,’ til you get sore

Smack that, oh-ohhh-oh-ohh

(Yeah, yeah, Stat Quo! Ahhh!)

I love when you do it

Girl, move to it like you’re used to it

Drop it down, I want to put my thing through it

To the crib we go, go fast and slow

Make it twirl like a stripper, slide down my pole

Shorty ass so swole, got your boy like, “Whoa!”

One night with me, now she wanna marry Stat Quo

But I’m like, “No, let’s keep it on the low

On occasion let me come through and tap that hole.»

Make you lose control and all her girls know

That I hit it right at night, I’m a pro

I only come ’round and get sexual

If she flexible and bisexual

I might stay around for a longer time

Only if, only if she can blow my mind

I can hurt that, murk that, work that spine

Now she in love and wants to be mine; Stat Quo, yeah!

I feel you creepin ‘

I can see it from my shadow

Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo

Maybe go to my place

And just kick it like Tae-Bo

And possibly bend you over

Look back and watch me

Smack that, all on the floor

Smack that, give me some more

Smack that, ’til you get sore

Smack that, oh-ohhh-oh-ohh

Smack that , all on the floor

Smack that, give me some more

Smack that, ’til you get sore

Smack that, oh-ohhh-oh-ohh

(Yeah, it’s Bobby Creek, know what I’m sayin ‘?)

The ice in the watch reflects the light to her

The money quite green and the ice light bluer

The swag might kill her, so I said good night to her

She don’t want me to leave, I can see right through her

So we dipped out, burn one, trip out

Get lo w like Caribbean limbo

Didn’t go out like light, baby girl, get right

Head so swole my hat don’t fit right

We can cruise in the car or we could take flight

The middle of the night, make your body eight-like

Mike Vick against the Eagles

Call myself a king ’cause I’m regal

To be this hot is not legal

But we don’t care — listen, baby, it’s a fact that

If you drop back I’ma quarterback sack that

We can go deep and I can shark attack that

Say you don’t remember where your keys and your hat at?

I feel you creepin ‘

I can see it from my shadow

Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo

Maybe go to my place

And just kick it like Tae-Bo

And possibly bend you over

Look back and watch me

Smack that, all on the floor

Smack that, give me some more

Smack that, ’til you get sore

Smack that, oh-ohhh-oh-ohh

Smack that , all on the floor

Smack that, give me some more

Smack that, ’til you get sore

Smack that, oh-ohhh-oh-ohh

lyrics Smack That

I can feel you scared,

I can see it from my shadow.

I wanna jump into my Lamborghini Gallardo,

Maybe come to me

And just kick him like ta-Bo,

And maybe bend you.

Look back and look at me.

Slap it, everybody on the dance floor.

Spank it, give me some more.

Spank him until you get sick.

Hit It, O-O-O-O-

Oh, hit it, all on the floor.

Spank it, give me some more.

Spank him until you get sick.

Slap It O-O-O-

O-O baby, if you wanna ride, you can ride me.

We can hit our head and collide with me.

Heck, I can rely on to bring this Campbell like Naomi, just pull this girl out and take her over, easily looking at all the oiled up and all the greasy ones when you stop this teasing way you ditched , made me cheat here, which is funny that you take all my money for real

I’d rather spend it on you right now than on my bro’s bail,

And I see that this is what you did,

And never sucked this

With this booty bought and paid for.

I won’t budge until I pay you your salary.

I can feel you scared,

I can see it from my shadow.

I wanna jump into my Lamborghini Gallardo,

Maybe come to me

And just kick him like ta-Bo,

And maybe bend you.

Look back and look at me.

Slap it, everybody on the dance floor.

Spank it, give me some more.

Spank him until you get sick.

Hit It, O-O-O-O-

Oh, hit it, all on the floor.

Spank it, give me some more.

Spank him until you get sick.

Hit It, O-O-O-O-

O (yeah, yeah, Stat Quo! Ah!)

I love it when you do it.

Girl, move the way you used to.

Throw it, I want my thing to go through it

Into the crib, we go, we go fast and slow,

We make her spin like a stripper, slide on my pole.

Shorty is such an ass that you have a boyfriend like, “Wow!” that hole, “Make you lose control and all her girls know I got in it at night, I’m a pro, I just come and have sex.

If she was flexible and bisexual,

I could stay for a long time.

Only if, only if she can blow my mind.

I can hurt this, Merck this, work that spine,

Now she’s in love and wants to be mine; Stat Quo, yeah!

I can feel you scared,

I can see it from my shadow.

I wanna jump into my Lamborghini Gallardo,

Maybe come to me

And just kick him like ta-Bo,

And maybe bend you.

Look back and look at me.

Slap it, everybody on the dance floor.

Spank it, give me some more.

Spank him until you get sick.

Hit It, O-O-O-O-

Oh, hit it, all on the floor.

Spank it, give me some more.

Spank him until you get sick.

Slap It, O-O-O-O-

Oh (yeah, that’s Bobby scream, you know what I’m saying?)

The ice in the watch reflects the light for her,

Money is pretty green and the icy light is bluer ,

Swag can kill her, so I said goodnight to her

, she doesn’t want me to leave, I can see right through her,

So we plunged in, burn one, and hit the road.

Get down like a Caribbean Limb,

Didn’t come out like a light, baby, get the right one

Head so bastard, my hat doesn’t fit.

We can take a cruise in the car or we can fly away

In the middle of the night, make your body eight seats like

Mike Vick against the Eagles,

Call myself king because I’m regal,

To be so hot it’s not legal,

But we don’t care — listen, baby, it’s a fact that

If you come back, I’ll be quarterback,

We can go deeper and I can attack sharks.

Tell me you don’t remember where your keys and hat are?

I can feel you scared,

I can see it from my shadow.

I wanna jump into my Lamborghini Gallardo,

Maybe come to me

And just kick him like ta-Bo,

And maybe bend you.

Look back and look at me.

Slap it, everybody on the dance floor.

Spank it, give me some more.

Spank him until you get sick.

Hit It, O-O-O-O-

Oh, hit it, all on the floor.

Spank it, give me some more.

Spank him until you get sick.

Hit It, Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-oh …

90,000 Spank me!

In sexual interaction, physiological and emotional experiences are intertwined extremely closely and sometimes bizarrely. “A slight fear and at the same time trust in a partner, shades and combinations of sensations create a unique scenario of sexual behavior for each couple,” says Inna Khamitova.

She gives an unexpected comparison: “Spanking in bed are like horror stories that young children tell deliberately to get scared when there is really nothing terrible.In adults, a similar experience arises: controlled fear, tension of expectation and then a feeling of relief because this tension has been resolved. ” A kind of emotional “swing” allows you to relax and release additional energy, which is included in the sexual act.

Between caress and humiliation

Probably all mothers in the world spank their children in the ass. Sometimes it’s affection, and sometimes it’s punishment. “Our sexuality has such a fine structure that any life event, including humiliation and feeling guilty, can leave its mark on it,” says psychoanalyst Jacques André.The richness of the palette of those feelings that Sergei experiences surprises him: “When a friend spanks me, I experience excitement, shame and excitement from my own shame …” For some, reaching the pinnacle of pleasure means walking along a thin line between pain and pleasure.

Sexologist Ghislaine Paris reveals the reason for the ambiguity of this feeling: “It goes back to the love-hate that the child has for the mother. His mother feeds him, gives him warmth and tenderness. But she also awakens in him a painful feeling of hunger and dissatisfaction, not offering breast on demand … ”

At the age of 5–6, the first idea of ​​the relationship between elders is formed in the child’s mind, and the idea of ​​an inextricable connection between pleasure and rudeness is strengthened.“Hearing the creak of the bed, the muffled scream, or noticing the closed door to the parent’s bedroom, the child confirms his suspicion that rather cruel things are happening between adults. The idea of ​​parents making love remains unpleasant for many forever, ”adds Jacques André. And all because we cannot believe: the mother of her own free will enters into sexual relations. So she was forced?

For children, the image of a mother is bifurcated: she is both a saint and a great traitor who sleeps with their father.These two figures are firmly anchored in our unconscious, fueling fantasies of dominance and submission. “For some men, this dual image affects so much that they are able to achieve orgasm only by humiliating a woman (even if only in a playful way). But even among women there are many who enjoy this role in sexual play, ”adds the psychoanalyst.

Web Graphics Application: Picnik –

If I’m used to saying, “Check it out.It’s Flash and very cobweb 2. oooh! “Spank me a little bit because I probably either feel bad or I’m being controlled by aliens.”

However. Check this. It’s Flash and very Web 2. oh! Luckily, it’s pretty darn nice.

Picnik is a web based photography application and I think it is a very good example of quality Flash application development. The interface is easy to use, responsive, and contains almost all the tools you would like to fix and polish photos for an online presentation – specifically resizing, rotating, cropping, color adjusting, sharpening, and exposure compensation.

The Creative Tools tab also has many well-done but probably less useful everyday effects, which include borders, tints, rounded corners and soft focus tricks, to name just a few.

Now if you are reading this, you probably already have a number of tools that do a great job with these features, and you are not going to switch to an online application just because it is there. Of course, if you are away from your workstation, it is good to know that you always have the option at hand.

However, the place that I find most useful to us is the use of the client. Building a CMS, creating an eye-catching look, and learning how to use them is only half the battle. Based on past experience, I’ve found that new users, new CMSs, and high-resolution digital photos are often a delicious recipe for blowing your layout to pieces. Trying to explain the intricacies of Photoshop isn’t much easier.

Picnik can provide graphics application:

  • with simple and user-friendly interface
  • is available on almost any system, regardless of OS or browser
  • no installation required (bypassing their tech coffins)
  • with multiple licensing questions (bypassing their Nazi admins)

All the good things in my experience.

While it is currently still in beta (true Web 2.0 style), the full version will apparently limit only some of the advanced image tools (liquefaction effects, sepia effects, etc.) to Paid Members / subscribers, but will leave all the most practical tools in the free version.

Hats off to the team. Great job.

“Spanked Testicles” – Read stories online

By name: 0 | Content

Showing 1 … 7 of 49 stories

… have seen porn and wanted to repeat it.- Ooo umnichkaaa Sash. ooo yeah. fondle your little brother’s testicles so that he ends up in mommy faster. Without saying a word, he clung greedily to his …

… Mishkin’s ass did not close. I could not resist and began to lick his ass. She slapped on the ass and sent me to rest. I went up to Zhenya and pressed him against the wall like a girl and …

Parts: 2 October 29, 2021 5 pages Incest Bisexual 2

Dressing up Blowjob

… members to the maximum.Christina moaned as her testicles slapped against her. The heads rested against the uterus, stimulating it. The girl was flowing profusely and …

… The member was huge, but the trance rammed her throat persistently until his balls slapped against her chin. She only managed to let out a strangled groan. PJ looked directly at …

Parts: 1 October 26, 2021 7 pages Ass Group 2

Students Transsexuals

… thanks to her.She sucked on its end, caressing the bridle with her tongue, played with the testicles, rolling them in her hand, then sucking in turn. But she was in no hurry to spread her legs …

… I didn’t put on underwear – either she was in a hurry, or for another reason. She playfully slapped her husband’s hand, as if embarrassed, and went to the refrigerator. Stas was staring at their games …

Parts: 5 October 20, 2021 4 pages Incest Sexwife & Cuckold 2

Observers Blowjob

… I looked up at him.On his huge cock and dangling testicles. My blue eyes met his dark ones, and I leaned forward, opening my lips …

… fuck. He turned my head so that my face was facing him and slapped it over my wet lips. Tears of discomfort and humiliation flowed down my cheeks …

Parts: 10 October 15, 2021 17 pages Under duress In the ass 2

Group Translated from English

…It was nice. The hand penetrated between the legs and massaged the testicles, threw up the cage with the penis with the palm of the hand. – How are you kid? How are you doing? I didn’t …

… did you wash? I replied that I did everything as he liked, that I was ready. He slapped me painfully on the butt and said Then drag the lubricant, grease your chimney, I don’t want to get your hands dirty …

Parts: 1 October 11, 2021 12 pp. Submission and humiliation Sexwife & Cuckold 2

Femdom Romance

… Yes? And what then? – I will help you with what you have in your underpants.I know that your testicles are struggling to get rid of the accumulated sperm. I will help you do this. Give it back …

… immediately knelt down and pulled down her pants from one. The bolt, which was standing there, crashed against her face. She kissed him instantly and, clasping her lips, began to suck. Schoolboy …

Parts: 1 October 6, 2021 7 pages Forced In the ass 2

Group Blowjob

… my dick in her mouth, and Carrie began to suck the rest my right testicle.She rolled it very gently in her mouth. Then Carrie pushed Julia’s mouth aside …

… I’m going to cum. The lips pulled back from my cock. Then I felt a hand slap my cock hard, twice. – Hey, it hurts! I exclaimed. My dick immediately started …

Parts: 8 October 2, 2021 27 pages Ass Incest 2

Blowjob Translation from English

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