Typo of love: Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner)

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Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner)

Love. Ahhhhh… they say it makes the world go ‘round. But does it? Does it always make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Or does it sometimes cause us problems in our relationships?

Well, the answer is both.

We have all had our share of relationship problems – especially in romantic ones. And when people say to me, “Relationships are hard!” I always reply, “Not they’re not. They are not inherently hard. It’s the people that make them hard.

What I mean by that is that humans are inherently selfish. We all want to “win” and to get other people to understand what we want. And unfortunately, that often results in two people who just don’t understand each other. And because of that, their relationship suffers.

One key to healthy relationships is understanding the different types of love. Everyone gives and receives love differently. And in addition to that, some people are much more capable of experiencing certain types of love than others.

8 Types of Love According to the Ancient Greeks

The ancient Greeks studied love and classified them into eight different types. They studied everything from public speaking to the starts in the universe. And love is something they were also fascinated with.

So, let’s take a look at the different types of love so you can better understand your own relationships.

1. Agape — Unconditional Love

First, we have agape love. This is an altruistic, selfless, unconditional love. The Greeks thought it was quite radical, perhaps because so few people seem capable of feeling it long-term.

Some people would describe agape as a type of spiritual love. For instance, Christians believe that Jesus exhibited this kind of love for all humans. He was selfless and sacrificed Himself so that others could be rid of their sins. He suffered for the happiness of others.

2. Eros — Romanic Love

Eros is named after the Greek god of love and fertility. Therefore, it is usually associated with romantic, passionate, and physical love. It is an expression of sexual passion and desire.

The Greeks were actually quite fearful of this love, strangely enough. They thought that because human beings have an instinctual impulse to procreate, that this love was so powerful and it would result in a loss of control.

Although the Greeks thought this kind of love was dangerous, it is still the kind of love that is associated with passionate, sexual love. Even in modern days, some people believe that this kind of love “burns hot and bright, but it burns out fast.”

3. Philia — Affectionate Love

The Greeks defined this kind of love as “affectionate love.” In other words, it is the kind of love that you feel for your friends.

Ironically, the ancient Greeks thought this kind of love was better than eros (sexual love), because it represented love between people who considered themselves equals.

While a lot of people associate the word “love” with romance, Plato always argued that physical attraction wasn’t necessary for love. Hence, why there are many different types of love. This type, in particular, is often referred to as “platonic” love – love without sexual acts.

4. Philautia — Self-love

Philautia is self-love. In our modern day society, most people associate self-love with being narcissistic, selfish, or stuck on themselves. However, this is not what the ancient Greeks meant by self-love.

Self-love is not negative or unhealthy in any way. In fact, it’s necessary to be able to give and receive love from other people. We cannot give to others what we don’t have. And if we don’t love ourselves, how can we truly love others?

Another way to look at self-love is by thinking about it as self-compassion. Just as you might show affection and love to another person, you must also show that same affection and love to yourself.

5. Storge — Familiar Love

Storge can be defined as “familiar love.” Although that’s a strange term, let me explain what it really means.

This type of love looks and feels a lot like philia – affectionate love felt between friends. However, this love is more like a parent-child love.

Just like philia, there is not physical or sexual attraction. But there is a strong bond, kinship, and familiarity between people.

6. Pragma — Enduring Love

The ancient Greeks define pragma as “enduring love.” In other words, it’s almost the opposite of eros (sexual love). Eros tends to burn out quickly because of its passion and intensity. However, pragma is a love that has matured and developed over a long period of time.

The kind of old married couples who have been together since their teenage years and still hold hands, well, that’s a great example of pragma. Unfortunately, this kind of love is somewhat rare to find – especially in society today. These days, people seem to think the grass is always greener on the other side. And therefore, they don’t have the patience or desire to watch love grow over time.

This type of love doesn’t require a lot of effort in a relationship. Both people are good at making compromises, and each of them puts in equal efforts to make the other person happy.

7. Ludus — Playful Love

Ludus is known as the “playful love.” However, a better way to describe it is the feeling of infatuation in the early days of romance. If you’ve been in love before, you know what I’m talking about.

It’s the butterflies in your stomach, the giddiness you feel when you see your love walk through the door, and the feeling of never wanting to be without them.

Studies show that when people are experiencing this type of love, their brain is acting much like it does if it was on cocaine. In other words, your brain is lit up and active just like someone who is literally high on a drug. It makes you feel alive and excited about life.

8. Mania — Obsessive Love

Mania is not necessarily a good type of love, because it is obsessive. It’s the type of love that can lead someone into madness, jealousy, or even anger. That is because the balance between eros (sexual) and ludus (playful) is terribly off.

Many people who experience this type of love suffer from low self-esteem. They fear losing the object of their love, and this fear compels them to say or do some “crazy” things in order to keep them.

If not kept under control, mania can be very destructive in some cases.

The 5 Love Languages

The ancient Greeks weren’t the only ones to study love. A modern relationship therapist, Dr. Gary Chapman, identified five languages of love through his work with couples over a long period of time. His book, The Five Love Languages, provides a lot more detail.

In a nutshell, Chapman argues that each of us give and receive love differently, but they all fall into five categories. And they are as follows:

1. Words of Affirmation

Some people want to hear “I love you” or other positive compliments from their partner. And if they don’t hear it, then they might feel unloved.

2. Acts of Service

Doing nice things for other people is called an “act of service.” Whether it’s changing someone’s oil, cleaning the house, or giving a back rub, doing things to help make the other person happy is what this one is about.

3. Receiving Gifts

Some people value giving and receiving gifts, and some do not. So, if you measure your partner’s love by how many gifts you are given, then your love language is “receiving gifts.”

4. Quality Time

Other people measure the quality of their love by how much time their significant other wants to spend with them. If they don’t get enough “together time,” then they might feel unloved.

5. Physical Touch

Finally, some individuals associate love with physical touch. Anything from hand-holding to cuddling, and even sex count as “physical touch.”

Why Do Love Languages Matter?

The point of learning the love languages is to identify both the way you give and want to receive love from your partner. If you both have very different love languages, it can cause problems in your relationship.

For example, let’s say that you give love by saying “I love you” all the time, but you want to receive gifts in order to feel loved. But your partner shows his/her love with acts of service, and he/she wants to feel it with quality time. See the problem? They don’t match up.

But don’t worry. You and your partner don’t need to speak the same love language to stay together. Here’s why.

All you need to do is discuss it with your partner. Once you understand how you both want to give and receive, then it’s not so difficult.

The Takeaway

We’re all different – and that’s okay. The problems we have in relationships sometimes simply come from not understanding each other fully, especially in the area of love.

Now that you know the ancient Greek types of love, and the more modern love languages, hopefully you can take a good, hard, long look at your own relationships and make the necessary improvements.

Featured photo credit: Joanna Nix via unsplash.com

Some Are Healthy, Some Are Not

Newswise — Below is a transcript from an interview with Dr. Kirtly Parker Jones, University of Utah Health.

Love. It’s a word that some of us use a lot. “I love that color on you.” “I just love pizza.” “I love, love, love you” to our little grandchildren. Some of us never feel comfortable using the word out loud. Philosophers, Theologians and now neuroscientists and clinicians think a lot about love. We use this word for so many emotions.

Maybe as we approach Valentine’s Day we should think a little bit about the different kinds of love. Some good for you and good for your health and some maybe not so much. The Western tradition from the Greeks distinguishes four types of love and has a Greek word for all of them. There are many sources that define many other kinds of love but four is a pretty manageable number.

Eros: erotic, passionate love

We might as well get that one out of the way first. Eros is erotic or sexual or passionate love. It’s often all about need and it’s more about the person who’s feeling sexually attractive than it is about the person who is the focus of that love or thing that is the focus of that love. It is addicting. It can cause great joy and great sorrow. It isn’t always good for you. More hearts are broken on Valentine’s Day due to the unfulfillment of erotic love.

Philia: love of friends and equals

It can be the love between lovers when they’ve been together for a long time and are not so hot and bothered anymore. It’s also called brotherly love as in the city of Philadelphia. The city of brotherly love. Of course, it could be sisterly love and it is the accepting love of good friendship. This is the love that is good for your health. The touch of a loved one. The philia touch lowers blood pressure. People in loving relationships feel your love have few doctor visits, shorter hospital visits, have less pain, and have more positive emotions. All of these positive consequences of philia love, loving friendships make us more resilient when hard times come.

Storge: love of parents for children

This kind of love is what mothers know best but isn’t talked about too much when we talk about love. It is the love of parents for children. It is described as the most natural of loves. Natural in that it’s present without corrosion. It’s emoted because we can’t help ourselves and it pays the least attention as to whether the person is worthy of love.

It’s often transient behaviors that wouldn’t be tolerated in philia love. For example, women can continue to love their children despite truly awful behaviors. Behaviors they wouldn’t tolerate in their girlfriends or their spouses. It seems to come unbidden in the care of a newborn and it grows to allow us to love our children despite their behaviors. Thank goodness for that. In many ways it’s probably a genetically programmed and hard wired love compared to the affectionate love, philia, which is maybe not so hot wired.

Agape: love of mankind

The love modeled on the love of the Christian God for men and the love of man for God. It’s the love that is given whether or not it’s returned. It’s the love without any self benefit. In the Buddhist tradition it is the central foundation of loving kindness for all mankind. This kind of love is important in the process of forgiveness. Forgiveness is important to your health, because the inability to forgive is associated with anger and a number of health outcomes that are not very good. It is love that sets a very hard bar but it may be at the foundation for happiness and contentment.

So, if you are planning something for Valentines Day for the focus of your erotic love, I hope you get it. The good news for your budget is that humans can usually only have erotic love for one person at a time. So it means one card. Good for you.

If you’re planning cards for your philia loves I hope that you have quite a few and they make you smile and that you get a bunch back.

If you’re planning cards for you storge loves your probably just planning on some heart shaped cookies for your kids.

If you planning cards for your agape loves, good luck on that one. You will break the budget and the postal service to send a card to all mankind. But we can take a little moment on Valentine’s Day to send out a little thought message of love and peace to the world.

This interview was originally broadcast by The Scope Radio. The Scope Radio, from University of Utah Health, highlights expert health advice and research you can use for a happier and healthier life.  

Types of love – Different types of love

There are so many questions when it comes to love. How do you know you’re in love? Why do you fall out of love? Is it possible to fall in love at first sight? We often think of love just in terms of romance, but love between friends and family members can be thought of as types of love in their own right, and they can be just as powerful. Meanwhile, there are a bunch of different types of romantic love too.

And this isn’t anything new. In fact, ancient Greek society understood eight different concepts of love, each embodied by a different word – and they’re all still relevant today. Plus, they can help us to understand what kind of love were experiencing, especially when it comes to love with a romantic partner.

Different types of love: Greek types of love

The eight different types of love, according to the ancient Greeks, are:

  1. Eros (sexual passion)
  2. Philia (deep friendship)
  3. Ludus (playful love)
  4. Agape (love for everyone)
  5. Pragma (longstanding love)
  6. Philautia (love of the self)
  7. Storge (family love)
  8. Mania (obsessive love)
    1. So what is each type of love and what do they all mean?

      1. Eros (sexual passion)

      Eros is the word for romantic, passionate love, suitably named after the Greek god of love and desire, Eros (the equivalent of Cupid in Roman mythology).

      “Eros is a fiery, intense form of love which arouses sexual and romantic feelings,” explains COSRT-accredited psychosexual and relationships therapist Cate Mackenzie.

      Sophie MayanneGetty Images

      “With eros love, people let go of their boundaries and get very physically and emotionally involved. This can be a time when people can’t get enough of being with their partner or lover,” she adds.

      However, it’s for these reasons that eros was thought to be a dangerous type of love by the ancient Greeks, because of how it made people lose control.

      Eros love doesn’t necessarily need to be long-lasting. “It’s a very physical form of love, and it might just last between six months to two years, depending on the relationship,” explains Cate. “For some people, this intense attraction might burn out and cause the relationship to end, or it may transform into a deeper or different type of love.”

      2. Philia (deep friendship)

      Philia represents love between friends, which can often be just as important as romantic love. “Philia can mean love between equals, love connected with the mind, and love between people who have shared hard times,” Cate explains. “This comes from the Greek philosopher Plato (hence the idea of platonic friendships),” she adds.

      AnchiyGetty Images

      Plato’s idea of platonic love came from his belief that physical attraction wasn’t a necessary part of love, and anyone who’s experienced philia will know that friendship love can still be powerful.

      3. Ludus (playful love)

      “Ludus is a playful and affectionate type of love,” says Cate. This might mean the love and excitement you feel when you have a crush on someone or when you’re first getting to know them.

      “Ludus can mean flirting and teasing in the early stages of a relationship,” Cate explains, but it can also refer to the playful affection between friends and between children.

      Stephen ZeiglerGetty Images

      4. Agape (love for everyone)

      You might have come across this one if you studied RS at school as it’s a concept in Christianity too, referring to selfless unconditional love for others and love between God and humans.

      “Agape is a spiritual kind of love, involving enormous empathy. This kind of love means that we accept, forgive and trust others,” Cate explains. Plus, the concepts of charity and sacrifice within agape can be thought of as ‘the highest form of love’, particularly in Christianity.

      5. Pragma (longstanding love)

      Pragma means long-lasting love. “It’s a love that has endured and matured over time, and has meaning,” says Cate.

      This kind of love often involves compromises from both people in the relationship, as well as patience and tolerance – and the focus is more on staying in love, rather than just falling in love.

      ErdarkGetty Images

      “Pragma is the result of action on both sides of the relationship; it involves people who make agreements and stick to them, and who put the relationship first,” Cate explains.

      6. Philautia (love of the self)

      You might think that our modern idea of self love is a pretty new thing, but it was actually a concept way back in the time of the ancient Greeks.

      Philautia refers to self love or self compassion, and the Greeks thought that loving yourself meant you had a wider capacity to love others – something we could all still learn from today when it comes to self-care. In fact, Aristotle is thought to have said: “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.”

      However, the Greeks knew that there was a negative type of self love too, in the form of self-obsessed narcissism. But it’s possible to healthily love yourself without being narcissistic!

      Rochelle Brock / Refinery29 for Getty ImagesGetty Images

      7. Storge (family love)

      “Storge refers to love between family members, like the love found between parents and children, between siblings, or between old friends that feel like family,” Cate explains. “It builds a feeling of safety, security and support for one another, as well as the joy that comes from having shared memories,” she adds.

      As well as the love between family members, storge can also describe a feeling of patriotism or allegiance, whether it’s to your country or even to a sports team, for example.

      8. Mania (obsessive love)

      “Mania can be a a jealous and obsessive kind of love,” Cate explains. “It often involves feelings of codependency, or the feeling that another person will heal and complete you,” she adds.

      However, we would now consider these behaviours to be symptoms of an unhealthy or a toxic relationship, rather than being a positive kind of love.

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      These Are the 7 Types of Love

      Source: Stock-Asso/Shutterstock

      [Article revised on 27 April 2020.]

      Most of us seem to be hankering after romantic love. But few of us realize that, far from being timeless and universal, romantic love is a modern construct that emerged in tandem with the novel.

      In Madame Bovary (1856), itself a novel, Gustave Flaubert tells us that Emma Bovary only found out about romantic love through “the refuse of old lending libraries.”

      …were all about love and lovers, damsels in distress swooning in lonely lodges, postillions slaughtered all along the road, horses ridden to death on every page, gloomy forests, troubles of the heart, vows, sobs, tears, kisses, rowing-boats in the moonlight, nightingales in the grove, gentlemen brave as lions and gentle as lambs, too virtuous to be true, invariably well-dressed, and weeping like fountains.

      But there are, of course, many other ways to love. By preoccupying ourselves with romantic love, we risk neglecting other types of love that are more stable or readily available, and that may, especially in the longer term, prove more healing and fulfilling.

      The Ancient Greeks had several words for love, enabling them to distinguish more clearly between the different types.

      I’m now going to guide you through seven types of love, each with a name from Ancient Greek.

      These seven types of love are loosely based on classical readings, especially of Plato and Aristotle, and on JA Lee’s 1973 book, Colors of Love.

      1. Eros

      Eros is sexual or passionate love, and most akin to the modern construct of romantic love. In Greek myth, it is a form of madness brought about by one of Cupid’s arrows. The arrow breaches us and we “fall” in love, as did Paris with Helen, leading to the downfall of Troy and much of the assembled Greek army.

      In modern times, eros has been amalgamated with the broader life force, something akin to Schopenhauer’s will, a fundamentally blind process of striving for survival and reproduction. Eros has also been contrasted with Logos, or Reason, and Cupid painted as a blindfolded child.

      2. Philia

      The hallmark of philia, or friendship, is shared goodwill. Aristotle believed that a person can bear goodwill to another for one of three reasons: that he is useful; that he is pleasant; and above all, that he is good, that is, rational and virtuous. Friendships founded on goodness are associated not only with mutual benefit but also with companionship, dependability, and trust.

      For Plato, the best kind of friendship is that which lovers have for each other. It is a philia born out of eros, and that in turn feeds back into eros to strengthen and develop it, transforming it from a lust for possession into a shared desire for a higher level of understanding of the self, the other, and the world. In short, philia transforms eros from a lust for possession into an impulse for philosophy.

      Real friends seek together to live truer, fuller lives by relating to each other authentically and teaching each other about the limitations of their beliefs and the defects in their character, which are a far greater source of error than mere rational confusion: they are, in effect, each other’s therapist—and in that much it helps to find a friend with some degree of openness, articulacy, and insight, both to change and to be changed.

      3. Storge

      Storge [“store-jay”], or familial love, is a kind of philia pertaining to the love between parents and their children. It differs from most philia in that it tends, especially with younger children, to be unilateral or asymmetrical. More broadly, storge is the fondness born out of familiarity or dependency. Compared to eros and philia, it is much less contingent on our personal qualities.

      People in the early stages of a romantic relationship often expect unconditional storge, but find only the need and dependency of eros, and, if they are lucky, the maturity and fertility of philia. Given enough time, eros tends to mutate into storge.

      4. Agape

      Agape [“aga-pay”] is universal love, such as the love for strangers, nature, or God. Unlike storge, it does not depend on filiation or familiarity. Also called charity by Christian thinkers, agape can be said to encompass the modern concept of altruism, as defined as unselfish concern for the welfare of others.

      Relationships Essential Reads

      Recent studies link altruism with a number of benefits. In the short-term, an altruistic act leaves us with a euphoric feeling, the so-called “helper’s high”. In the longer term, altruism has been associated with better mental and physical health, and even greater longevity.

      At a social level, altruism serves as a signal of cooperative intentions, and also of resource availability and so of mating or partnering potential. It also opens up a debt account, encouraging beneficiaries to reciprocate with gifts and favours that may be of much greater value to us than those with which we felt able to part.

      More generally, altruism, or agape, helps to build and maintain the psychological, social, and, indeed, environmental fabric that shields, sustains, and enriches us. Given the increasing anger and division in our society and the state of our planet, we could all do with quite a bit more agape.

      5. Ludus

      Ludus is playful or uncommitted love. It can involve activities such as teasing and dancing, or more overt flirting, seducing, and conjugating. The focus is on fun, and sometimes also on conquest, with no strings attached.

      Ludus relationships are casual, undemanding, and uncomplicated, but, for all that, can be very long-lasting. Ludus works best when both parties are mature and self-sufficient. Problems arise when one party mistakes ludus for eros, whereas ludus is, in fact, much more compatible with philia.

      6. Pragma

      Pragma is a kind of practical love founded on reason or duty and one’s longer-term interests. Sexual attraction takes a back seat in favour of personal qualities and compatibilities, shared goals, and “making it work.”

      In the days of arranged marriages, pragma must have been very common. Although unfashionable, and at a polar opposite of romantic love, it remains widespread, most visibly in certain high-profile celebrity and political pairings.

      Many relationships that start off as eros or ludus end up as various combinations of storge and pragma. Pragma may seem opposed to ludus, but the two can co-exist, with the one providing a counterpoint to the other. In the best of cases, the partners in the pragma relationship agree to turn a blind eye—or even a sympathetic eye, as with Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre, or Vita Sackville-West and Harold Nicholson.

      7. Philautia

      Philautia, finally, is self-love, which can be healthy or unhealthy. Unhealthy self-love is akin to hubris. In Ancient Greece, people could be accused of hubris if they placed themselves above the gods, or, like certain modern politicians, above the greater good. Many believed that hubris led to destruction, or nemesis.

      Today, “hubris” has come to mean an inflated sense of one’s status, abilities, or accomplishments, especially when accompanied by haughtiness or arrogance. Because it does not accord with the truth, hubris promotes injustice, conflict, and enmity.

      Healthy self-love, on the other hand, is akin to self-esteem, which is our cognitive and, above all, emotional appraisal of our own worth. More than that, it is the matrix through which we think, feel, and act, and reflects on our relation to ourselves, to others, and to the world.

      In everyday language, “self-esteem” and “self-confidence” tend to be used interchangeably. However, self-esteem and self-confidence do not always go hand in hand. In particular, it is possible to be highly self-confident and yet to have profoundly low self-esteem, as is the case, for example, with many performers and celebrities.

      People with healthy self-esteem do not need to prop themselves up with externals such as income, status, or notoriety, or lean on crutches such as alcohol, drugs, or sex. They are able to invest themselves completely in projects and people because they do not fear failure or rejection. Of course, they suffer hurt and disappointment, but their setbacks neither damage nor diminish them. Owing to their resilience, they are open to growth experiences and relationships, tolerant of risk, quick to joy and delight, and accepting and forgiving of themselves and others.

      In closing, there is, of course, a kind of porosity between the seven types of love, which keep on seeping and passing into one another.

      For Plato, love aims at beautiful and good things, because the possession of beautiful and good things is called happiness, and happiness is an end-in-itself.

      Of all good and beautiful things, the best, most beautiful, and most dependable is truth or wisdom, which is why Plato called love not a god but a philosopher.

      Adapted from For Better For Worse: Essays on Sex, Love, Marriage, and More.

      What Are The 7 Types of Love?

      The notion of love is actually quite complex. We can love someone in the notion of love and go on to marry and make a life with them. We can love a child unconditionally with our entire sense of self. We can love a parent or a best friend, but in a very different way than we love our significant other. We can show love and compassion for others. We need to figure out what self love means before anything else. Commenting that we love pancakes has a very different connotation when we utter “I love you” for the first time. 

      Interestingly enough, the solitary word “love” is somehow supposed to encompass all of these emotions and feelings. Perhaps society has taught us to distinguish the various types and degrees of love based on connotations, nuances, or experiences. In contrast, philosophers in ancient Greece made the concept more concrete by breaking it down into various categories. They came up with seven types of love as detailed below:

      Eros: Love of the body 

      This type of love illustrates sexual attraction, physical desire towards others, and a lack of control. It is powerful, passionate, and can dissipate quickly. Relationships that are built solely on Eros love tend to be short-lived.

      Philia: Affectionate love

      Philia love accounts for the type of love that you feel for parents, siblings, family members, and close friends. This type of love is linked with loyalty, companionship, and trust. Philia love is shared among those who have similar values and experiences. The Greek philosophers considered Philia to be an equal love and valued it higher than Eros love.

      Storge: Love of the Child

      This type of love describes the unconditional love that parents have for their children. It is defined by unconditional approval, acceptance, and sacrifice. This type of love helps a child to develop through attachment, encouragement, and security.

      Agape: Selfless Love

      Agape love is representative of universal love. Greek philosophers felt that this is the type of love that people feel for other humans, for nature, and for a higher power. This love can be most easily expressed through meditation, nature, intuition, and spirituality. Agape love can be used interchangeably for charity and care for others.

      Ludus: Playful Love

      Playful love is defined by flirtatiousness, seduction, and sex without commitment. The focal point of this love is on the experience rather than attraction or feelings.  Ludus is evident in the beginning of a relationship and is comprised with elements of play, teasing, and excitement.

      Pragma: Long-lasting Love

      Long-lasting love is evident in couples who have been together for a long period of time. This type of love continues to develop throughout the years and portrays synchronization and balance. This type of love can only survive with constant maintenance and nurturance.

      Philautia: Love of the Self

      Self-love is linked with confidence and self-worth and is necessary for a sense of purpose and fitting in. Philautia can be unhealthy and linked to narcissistic behaviors and arrogance, or can be healthy in the sense that we love ourselves before we learn how to love others. Greek philosophers believed that true happiness could only be achieved when one had unconditional love for themselves. 

      Putting the pieces together

      Perhaps we do not break down the concept of love like the ancient Greek philosophers once did.  Admittedly, it would likely be very complicated to incorporate these Greek terms into our day to day conversations. However, there are bits and pieces and truths from each one that help to comprise our notion of love today.

      One of the things you’ve probably noticed is that these types of love are not mutually exclusive. We don’t love in pieces. We love as people, in all kinds of ways. For example, your romantic relationship might be full of eros (sexual attraction), but to truly achieve pragma (long-lasting love), you also need ludus (playful love), philautia (self-love) and philia (affectionate love). A healthy friendship of course, relies on philia (affectionate or platonic love), but also needs philautia (self-love) and some degree of support from storge (familiar love).

      Think about some of the relationships in your life. What do you see? Are there opportunities to strengthen the “loves” you have?

      Learning about the types of love can help you to understand how you view love and how you experience love. And when you understand that, relationships begin to make so much more sense. You’ll begin to see the many facets of your relationships. How much love is in your life just might surprise you.

      Tracy is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is a clinical supervisor for a Community YMCA. Tracy has over 12 years of experience working in many settings including partial care hospitalization and intensive outpatient programs, community agencies, group practice, and school-based programs. Tracy works with clients of all ages, but especially enjoys working with the adolescents.

      8 Different Types of Love According to the Ancient Greeks ⋆ LonerWolf

      There are many paths in life. But the longest of them all is the path to the heart.

      If you resist this path, you will take lifetimes to find it again. If you surrender and embrace it, you’ll be home.

      We’ve all been blinded by the blanket of emotions that comes from falling down the precipice of union into love. While we only have one word for it, the ancient Greeks in their pursuit of wisdom and self-understanding, found seven different varieties of love that we all experience at some point.

      When we understand the different types of love out there, we can become conscious of how deep our connection is with ourselves and the other people in our lives.

      8 Different Types of Love

      What different types of love are you currently experiencing and how are they impacting your life?

      1. “Eros”

      or Erotic Love

      The first kind of love is Eros, which is named after the Greek god of love and fertility. Eros represents the idea of sexual passion and desire.

      The ancient Greeks considered Eros to be dangerous and frightening as it involves a “loss of control” through the primal impulse to procreate. Eros is a passionate and intense form of love that arouses romantic and sexual feelings.

      Eros is an exulted and beautifully idealistic love that in the hearts of the spiritually awakened can be used to “recall knowledge of beauty” (as Socrates put it) through Tantra and spiritual sex. But when misguided, eros can be misused, abused and indulged in, leading to impulsive acts and broken hearts.

      Eros is a primal and powerful fire that burns out quickly. It needs its flame to be fanned through one of the deeper forms of love below as it is centered around the selfish aspects of love, that is, personal infatuation and physical pleasure.

      Love Catalyst: The physical body

      2. “Philia”

      or Affectionate Love

      The second type of love is philia, or friendship. The ancient Greeks valued philia far above eros because it was considered a love between equals.

      Plato felt that physical attraction was not a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, “without physical attraction. ” Philia is a type of love that is felt among friends who’ve endured hard times together.

      As Aristotle put it, philia is a “dispassionate virtuous love” that is free from the intensity of sexual attraction. It often involves the feelings of loyalty among friends, camaraderie among teammates, and the sense of sacrifice for your pack.

      Examples in Films: Girl with a Pearl Earring, The Girl Next Door

      Love Catalyst: The mind

      3. “Storge”

      or Familiar Love

      Although storge closely resembles philia in that it is a love without physical attraction, storge is primarily to do with kinship and familiarity. Storge is a natural form of affection that often flows between parents and their children, and children for their parents.

      Storge love can even be found among childhood friends that is later shared as adults. But although storge is a powerful form of love, it can also become an obstacle on our spiritual paths, especially when our family or friends don’t align with or support our journey.

      Love Catalyst: Causal (Memories)

      4. “Ludus”

      or Playful Love

      Although ludus has a bit of the erotic eros in it, it is much more than that. The Greeks thought of ludus as a playful form of love, for example, the affection between young lovers.

      Ludus is that feeling we have when we go through the early stages of falling in love with someone, e.g. the fluttering heart, flirting, teasing, and feelings of euphoria.

      Playfulness in love is an essential ingredient that is often lost in long-term relationships. Yet playfulness is one of the secrets to keeping the childlike innocence of your love alive, interesting and exciting.

      Love Catalyst: Astral (Emotion)

      5. “Mania”

      or Obsessive Love

      Mania love is a type of love that leads a partner into a type of madness and obsessiveness. It occurs when there is an imbalance between eros and ludus.

      To those who experience mania, love itself is a means of rescuing themselves; a reinforcement of their own value as the sufferer of poor self-esteem. This person wants to love and be loved to find a sense of self-value. Because of this, they can become possessive and jealous lovers, feeling as though they desperately “need” their partners.

      If the other partner fails to reciprocate with the same kind of mania love, many issues prevail. This is why mania can often lead to issues such as codependency.

      Love Catalyst: Survival instinct

      6. “Pragma”

      or Enduring Love

      Pragma is a love that has aged, matured and developed over time. It is beyond the physical, it has transcended the casual, and it is a unique harmony that has formed over time.

      You can find pragma in married couples who’ve been together for a long time, or in friendships that have endured for decades. Unfortunately pragma is a type of love that is not easily found. We spend so much time and energy trying to find love and so little time in learning how to maintain it.

      Unlike the other types of love, pragma is the result of effort on both sides. It’s the love between people who’ve learned to make compromises, have demonstrated patience and tolerance to make the relationship work.

      Love Catalyst: Etheric (Unconscious)

      7. “Philautia”

      or Self Love

      The Greeks understood that in order to care for others, we must first learn to care for ourselves. This form of self-love is not the unhealthy vanity and self-obsession that is focused on personal fame, gain and fortune as is the case with Narcissism.

      Instead, philautia is self-love in its healthiest form. It shares the Buddhist philosophy of “self-compassion” which is the deep understanding that only once you have the strength to love yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin, will you be able to provide love to others. As Aristotle put it, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.

      You cannot share what you do not have. If you do not love yourself, you cannot love anyone else either. The only way to truly be happy is to find that unconditional love for yourself. Often learning to love yourself involves embracing all the qualities you perceive as “unlovable”, this is where shadow work comes in.

      Love Catalyst: Soul

      8. “Agape”

      or Selfless Love

      The highest and most radical type of love according to the Greeks is agape, or selfless unconditional love.

      This type of love is not the sentimental outpouring that often passes as love in our society. It has nothing to do with the condition-based type of love that our sex-obsessed culture tries to pass as love.

      Agape is what some call spiritual love. It is an unconditional love, bigger than ourselves, a boundless compassion, an infinite empathy. It is what the Buddhists describe as “mettā” or “universal loving kindness.” It is the purest form of love that is free from desires and expectations, and loves regardless of the flaws and shortcomings of others.

      Agape is the love that is felt for that which we intuitively know as the divine truth: the love that accepts, forgives and believes for our greater good.


      Dark Night of the Soul Journal:

      For the lost souls who feel lonely and disconnected, this is a profound tool designed to help you overcome your existential depression, explore your Soul Loss, practice Soul Retrieval, and reconnect with your true Spiritual Nature.


      Love Catalyst: Spirit

      ***

      Thanks to the ancient Greeks, we can learn from all the different types of love in our lives. Because of these distinctions, we can learn that in order to truly enjoy eros we must also search for greater depths through philia and cultivate ludus, avoiding mania as our relationships mature.  It’s through these efforts that we’ll find pragma in our soulmate or twin flame relationships.

      Finally, through the power philautia and agape we can come to understand how amazing our human hearts really are. Our hearts are the only things in the universe that grow larger the more they give to others.

      If you’d like to deepen your knowledge of love, take our free love languages quiz to find what your love language is!

      8 Different Types of Love According to Greek

      We homo-sapiens are attuned to have a relationship; the core of a happy and healthy relationship is LOVE!

      Plus, Life is all about love!

      From the moment we are born, and throughout our journey of life, we strive and thrive on having love in our life. Generally, seen in the light of romance, love is more than that or shall we rather say that’s not the only type of love that we humans crave for. Let us try and understand it with the help of some questions on hand:

      Do you love your parents?

      Do you love your pet?

      Do you love your friends?

      Do you love your partner?

      Most importantly, Do you love yourself?

      Assuming that answer to these questions is YES, do you think just one form of love can fill in all the spaces?

      The answer is… NO!

      This clears one thing that love is more than cupid-style. Each relationship that we are in, be it with our parents or ourselves, requires a different form or combination of love.

      So with today’s write-up, we will try to understand the types of love as proposed by Ancient Greeks. But, before that, let us quickly understand what love catalyst is as it is at the heart of these types of love and relationship list!

      Related:  Types Of Empathy You Need To Know

      What Is a Love Catalyst?

      A catalyst is a part of you that enhances your experience with a particular form of love. It helps in promoting the feelings of a specific type of love. Example: spiritual catalyst is responsible to connect with divine power. This  Catalyst helps us to connect our soul for good and feel more peaceful.

      8 Different Types of Love in Relationship and their Meanings:

      1. Philia- Affectionate Love

      Philia love

      Philia is often referred to as “brotherly love.” It is a strong romantic attraction or love towards your friends. It demonstrates not just love but also the sharing of equality in terms of respect and values. It represents platonic and sincere love. Here, your mind actively engages to check which friends are of the same wavelength as you and can be trusted. Ever used the phrase we just clicked?

      Example: You and your friend(s) being each other’s person, each time you face a problem.

      One Liner: Love that runs deep in true friendships

      Love Catalyst: Mind

      Ways to Show Philia Love:

      • Be supportive of your friend.
      • Keep open communication
      • Be there trusting little soul.
      • Somedays dive into deep conversation

      2. Storge- Familiar Love

      Storge love

      This type of love is quite similar to philia; it is just directed towards family more. It is the love that parents feel for their children. There is no sexual attraction here; it is all about a bond, care, acceptance, and emotional connection. There is a strong link between memories and this love. The more memories you create, the better the value of your relationship becomes.

      Example: The love between you and your parents, siblings, childhood friend, and even your pet.

      One Liner: Love of the child (childhood and childhood friends)

      Love Catalyst: Causal (memories)

      Ways to Show Storge:

      • Don’t hold grudges; practice forgiveness.
      • Show gratitude towards the one you care
      • Give each other quantity and quality of time
      • Share happy and memorable moments.

      3. Pragma- Enduring Love

      Pragma love

      Probably the most challenging form of love to find! It focuses on both the quantity and quality of love relationships with others. This love is like a fine wine- aged, matured, and developed over time with someone. This everlasting love grows not by merely being head over heels with someone rather by standing through thick and thin. This feeling comes unknowingly (like a subconscious drive) but makes you feel intuitive and purposeful.

      Example: Think of your grandparents or parents and see how they grew together.

      One Liner: Mature love that has endured for decades

      Love Catalyst: Etheric (Subconscious)

      Ways to Show Pragma:

      • Seek and show constant efforts
      • Work on developing understanding between yourselves
      • Choose to work with your partner and the love you share (forever)
      • Don’t think of a replacement, focus on restructuring and repairment instead.

      4. Eros- Romantic Love

      Eros love

      It is also referred to as Erotic love and is named after the Greek god of love and fertility. It is generally associated with romantic, passionate, and physical forms of love. It gets its spark from the bodily hormones which must be satiated through romantic actions by a partner you admire.

      Example: Romantic relationship between you and your partner or young couples that you see in movies/sitcoms

      One Liner: Personal infatuation showing passion

      Love Catalyst: Physical Body (Hormones)

      Ways to Show Eros:

      • Having a romantic affection
      • Show love by touching, hugging, and other gestures
      • Admiring the other person inside out
      • Be passionate

      5. Ludus- Playful Love

      Ludus love

      While eros is love intensified, Ludus is like a light-hearted and an early stage of it. Playfulness in a relationship keeps it alive, exciting, unusual, plus it adds the element of childlike innocence to it. It is marked with emotions like giddiness, butterflies in the stomach, and teasing. Although more common in young couples, older couples strive for it as well.

      Example: A young couple who has recently started to see each other

      One Liner: Beginning stages of intimate love

      Love Catalyst: Astral (Emotions)

      Ways to Show Ludus:

      • Show interest in the one you admire
      • Engage in playful activities
      • Spend nice laughing hours together
      • Engage in whimsical conversation

      6. Mania- Obsessive Love

      Mania love

      Obsessive Love is the only form of love that is better to be avoided. This love is not a prerequisite to maintain any relationship; in fact, it is found to harm healthy relationships. The reason why this love is so unwanted is that it leads to possessiveness, jealousy, and codependency among partners. It develops in the first place because there is an imbalance among partners’ love (generally by imbalance between eros and Ludus).

      Example: An overly codependent person in a relationship who always has to keep checking on the partner (excessively and intrusively)

      One Liner: Possessiveness or madness over a partner

      Love Catalyst: Survival Instinct

      Ways to Avoid Mania:

      • Recognize the obsessive pattern
      • Try to invest more trust in your relationship.
      • Communicate and act on possessive patterns
      • Focus on yourself more than the other person

      7. Philautia- Self Love

      Philautia love

      There are two forms of Philautia: healthy and unhealthy. A healthy form of Philautia focuses on loving ourselves, taking care of ourselves, and recognizing our self-worth, before offering it to others. The unhealthy way is selfish with its focus on gaining fame, pleasure, and wealth, taking the form of narcissism though Philautia as self-love is healthy, which indeed should be practiced.

      Example: When you work on yourself

      One Liner: Empathetic way of loving oneself and others

      Love Catalyst: Soul

      Ways to Show Philautia:

      • Express unconditional love in every situation
      • Engage in actions that are good for human kind
      • Take some time out for charity
      • Extend your good deeds to improve the lives of others

      8.

      Agape- Selfless Love

      Agape love

      Considered to be the highest level of love to offer is agape. The core of this love is giving without any form of expectations attached to it. It is like passing the baton of kindness to others. Your spirit creates a purpose bigger than yourself. It is the compassionate love that makes us help and connects with people we don’t know. The world needs more of this Agape love.

      Example: People working for NGOs, extending their love for others

      One Liner: Empathetic way of loving oneself and others

      Love Catalyst: Spirit

      Ways to Show Agape:

      • Express unconditional love in every situation
      • Engage in actions that are good for humankind
      • Take some time out for charity.
      • Extend your good deeds to improve the lives of others

      combination of types of love

      Now that you know about all eight types of love and relationships that exist, we have bonus content for you!!!

      We are sharing the secret recipe to a healthy relationship with the ingredients we just mentioned (the 8 types of love).

      As discussed above each relationship has its requirement of a particular form of love. So, now it is time to see how you can improve your relationship with others by working on specific varients of love.

      Now express your love the right way and nurture healthy relationships with your parents, friends, and partners.

      Time to spread love like confetti…

      Do let us know in the comment section below which love you want to work on or the one that sounds the most fascinating and perfect combo to you.

      Keep loving!

      Keep blooming!

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      90,000 Types of love in psychology: types and varieties

      Types of love (classification)

      I. S. Kon [1989] identifies six types of love:

      ► erotic love (love-passion), characterized by high intensity of feeling, passionate desire for full physical contact, possession, unity with a partner;

      ► hedonistic love, acting as pleasure, play, flirting.

      The partner’s personality is insignificant here, his role is instrumental. The relationship is shallow, fragile, betrayal is allowed, parting with a partner is easy and does not leave traumatic experiences in the soul;

      ► love-friendship – calm, warm and reliable.The main focus in a love-friendship relationship is on emotional support, empathy, cognition of a partner, and mutual enrichment through spiritual and personal communication. Love-friendship is based on equality and respect for each other.

      There is a reasonable balance between the desire to give away a part of your Self and the ability to accept what your partner gives you. The latter is no less a blessing and a talent of love than the ability to give;

      ►pragmatic love – rational love, by calculation, love that realizes the mode of “to have”.

      An important role in the relationship of such love is played by pragmatic values ​​(improving the material conditions of existence, raising the status, obtaining any benefits, privileges). Such relationships do not differ in the depth of feelings, intensity and content of interpersonal contacts.

      In pragmatic love, partners are partners in a joint venture and need each other as long as the venture is profitable. As soon as the source of benefits and privileges dries up, the relationship is interrupted and the former partners rush in search of a more profitable option;

      ► Selfless love – self-giving love, altruistic love.

      In this case, the positions of the partners are asymmetrical. The unselfish lover seeks to give, not wanting to take anything in return. This is motherly love in the best sense of the word. However, in marital relations, in contrast to parent-child relations, relations of potentially equal partners, asymmetric self-giving can lead to actual inequality and, in fact, to deprive the partner of the opportunity to actualize himself as a “giver”, to limit the possibilities of his personal growth and self-realization.

      In such cases, there is a danger of the partner’s disability, devaluation of his capabilities;

      ► love-mania – irrational love-obsession, characterized by the desire for total possession of a partner.

      The partner’s personality does not act as an intrinsic value and is not considered at all outside the relationship. This type of love is characterized by insecurity, dependence on the behavior of the object of attraction. When disappointed, the image of the partner in perception changes sharply from “idol” to “complete insignificance.”

      According to Robert J. Sternberg (Triangular Theory of Love), there are the following types of love:

      1. Lack of love. Lack of love is the absence of all three of its components (intimacy, passion, commitment).Lack of love is characteristic of the vast majority of our personal relationships, which are only everyday interactions, not in the least like love.

      2. Affection. If there is only the “intimacy” component in the relationship, and the “passion” and “commitment” components are absent, then there is a liking. The person feels closeness, affection, and warmth towards another person without intense passion or long-term commitment.

      A person experiences emotional closeness to his friend, but the friend does not “excite” him and does not cause thoughts that the person “loves a friend” or is going to love him all his life.If an ordinary friend, to whom a person has a liking, leaves even for a long time, the person may miss him, but he is not inclined to think about his loss all the time, does not feel sorry for himself.

      3. Passionate love. Passionate love is love at first sight. Passionate love, or simply passion, is characterized by the experience of passionate excitement in the absence of the components of “intimacy” and “commitment.” It is usually quite easy to notice passion, although it is usually easier for other people to determine that a person is passionately in love than for the person himself.Passion is necessarily accompanied by psychophysiological arousal, which manifests itself in such somatic symptoms as heart palpitations, increased hormonal secretion, erection of the genitals (penis or clitoris), and so on.

      4. Formal love. Love of this kind arises from the decision that a person loves another and is devoted to this love, in the absence of both intimacy and passion.

      Love of this kind can sometimes be found in a stagnant relationship that lasts for many years and during this time has lost both the mutual emotional involvement and the physical attraction that were once characteristic of them.In a marriage of convenience, the marriage partners can begin their relationship simply by making a commitment to love or trying to love each other. In other cases, formal love is the result of a more romantic relationship.

      5. Romantic love. In this kind of love, there are components of intimacy and passion. Romantic lovers feel not only physically attracted to each other, but also emotionally attached.

      6. Friendly love. Love of this kind arises when there is a combination of the components “intimacy” and “commitment”.In essence, it is a long-term, devoted friendship that often arises between spouses after physical attraction (the main source of passion) gradually fades away.

      7. Fatal love. Fatal love is characterized by a combination of the components “passion” and “commitment” in the absence of intimacy. Such love is frivolous in the sense that commitment is made under the influence of passion alone, in the absence of a stabilizing element of intimacy.

      Although the component of passion can develop almost instantly, the development of the component of intimacy takes some time, and therefore there is a risk of breaking up a relationship based on fatal love, and in the case of hasty marriages, the risk of divorce.

      8. Love is perfect.

      7 KINDS OF LOVE. A practical guide to relationships.

      Perfect love includes all three components (intimacy, passion and commitment). Achieving perfect love does not guarantee that this love will last. She can go into other types of love.

      However, such a relationship is broken for a very long time, and lovers experience incomparable happiness with anything else.

      Fromm believes that a person’s ability to love is not given by nature. This is an art to be mastered. Love is formed during one’s lifetime, and what it will be is determined by the free choice of everyone. Society offers for a choice two modes of life (to have or to be) and the corresponding two modes of love: love as possession and love as being.

      The first mode – love as possession – is characteristic of a consumer society, where the principle “everything is for sale” operates.

      Love acts as a kind of monetary equivalent of the exchange of services and goods (“I love you, and you give me this …”), becomes an object of purchase and sale.An exchange takes place: men offer status, money, power; women – beauty, thrift, fertility, etc. When creating a family, the emphasis is shifted to the phase of finding a marriage partner, here you can see a special intensity of passions and real excitement of the player – to get more, to give less.

      A bargaining begins, where everything is weighed and evaluated, where sellers and buyers try to cheat, “foist” on, make a profitable deal. “Unhappy love” among the supporters of the mode of possession is also interpreted in terms of buying and selling: either you “overpaid”, or you “did not get enough”.

      The second mode – love as being – creative, active love, providing conditions for the personal growth of both partners.

      This is a mature, harmonious form of love.

      Theories of Love

      Sternberg’s theory

      Psychologist Robert Sternberg developed a three-component theory of love (triad), depicting it in the form of a triangle (Fig. 12.1). According to this theory, love is composed of three parts: intimacy, passion and a component called “decision / commitment.”

      Passion includes more than just the sexual component of relationships.

      It can be caused by other circumstances. For example, for some people, the need for self-esteem, establishing relationships with other people, dominating other people, or, conversely, submission may be a more important source of passion than good old sex. One such example is provided by Sternberg (1988a).

      Love as affection

      One unusual theory views the love relationship as analogous to the attachment that exists between mother and child (Shaver, Hazan, Bradshaw, 1984, 1988).

      In both cases, the relationship is based on trust, a sense of security; both there and here there is a fear of rejection, a fear of separation, as well as non-verbal communication. According to Shaver, Hazen and Bradshaw, an adult builds his relationships with other people (including love ones) in the image and likeness of his relationship with his mother in early childhood Attachment theory has also been criticized for not explaining the differences in love relationships among different peoples, although everyone knows that in India, Japan or the Fiji Islands, the concept of love is not at all the same as in the United States and Europe.

      Romantic love. In romantic love, unlike any other type of love, we are almost completely immersed in the other person (Pope, 1980). When Chaucer wrote that “love is blind,” he recognized that the power of romantic love destroys our objectivity.

      In a passionate pursuit of the object of our love, we may not see the shortcomings, increase our dignity and lose all sense of proportion.

      Romantic Love Cycles:

      · The readiness for love is composed of several elements.First, love is perceived as something desirable, as a reward, and not a nuisance or complication.

      Secondly, it is natural for a person to strive for closeness with another person. This desire may be motivated by loneliness, envy of the love relationships of others, or a desire to re-experience love that has been lost. Thirdly, sexual frustration often contributes to the emergence of a readiness for love. Finally, a readiness for love reflects the hope of any person to meet love in return.

      However, the older a person is, the less he can count on reciprocal feelings.

      · The beginning of falling in love, which ranges from sudden “love at first sight” to a gradual process that develops over months or years.

      Falling in love The state of falling in love can arise regardless of whether the object reciprocates or not. In the absence of signs of reciprocal love, the likelihood of being in love quickly diminishes.

      However, a person who has reached this stage of romantic love is usually resourceful, full of hope, and willing to be content with even the smallest signs of reciprocity.

      · The transition stage plays a decisive role. During this period, the initial excitement caused by intimacy with a partner, and the passion for new sexual relations gradually weaken or disappear altogether. Lovers begin to discover each other’s shortcomings, which were not previously noticed or which were neglected, boredom and irritation creep into their relationship.

      Frustration occurs when love falls short of our fantasies, when we begin to realize that not all of our problems are “healed”, or when we discover that the state of ecstasy cannot continue indefinitely.

      · Love is coming to an end Relationships can become tense, because partners are no longer tuned in “on the same wavelength”; the emerging troubles now seem not worthy of the effort to overcome them.

      · Love ended. Once alone, people tend to be ready for a new love pretty soon.

      However, it also happens that as a result of the suffering experienced, a kind of “refractory period” sets in, when it is simply impossible to fall in love again.

      Love-friendship is characteristic of marital and other long-term and reliable relationships. It is less demanding and less absorbing than romantic love; it enables two people to continue their lives without hindrance – to work, to raise children, to have all sorts of hobbies, to relax with friends. It is a lasting love based on real values, as opposed to romantic love, which too often is based only on ideals and fantasies.

      Within the framework of one of the most developed typologies of love, there are six psychological attitudes towards love, which are designated in Greek terms.

      Eros, or sensual love, is characterized by passion, devotion and physical attraction (“My beloved (my beloved) and I were made for each other”).

      Ludus, or love as a game, implies a less responsible attitude towards a partner, since love is perceived as a game, in which there can be as many partners as you like (“I like to play love with everyone”).

      Mania is a style of love characterized by obsession, passion and jealousy (“I am terrified when my beloved (beloved) does not pay attention to me”).

      Pragma is a very practical style of love, the supporters of which choose a partner who meets certain criteria (“I want to choose such a loved one (beloved) with whom (which) we are guaranteed a happy life”).

      Agape, or sacrificial love, is an altruistic approach to love, in which the needs of a loved one are much more important for the lover than his own (“I would rather suffer than watch my loved one suffer”).

      Storge is a style of love based on strong and lasting friendship (“My beloved (my beloved) is my best friend”).

      Types of love

      Love is a very multifaceted feeling, to love is to respect and appreciate a partner, to feel passion and attraction for him, to take care and help, to be close and support, to compromise and resolve conflicts through discussions.

      There are several types of love that are indicated in Greek terms. These are eros, ludus , mania, pragma, agape and storge.Let’s take a closer look at the typology of love.

      Eros – sensual love.

      Such love is characterized by passion, physical attraction and devotion. In the first place – feelings, emotions and a storm of human passions. Sensual love gives a person great satisfaction in a loving relationship, which helps to strengthen relationships, increase self-esteem, and increase self-confidence.

      Ludus is a love game.

      Love is perceived as a game, therefore responsibility is not held in high esteem in such love.Any events are not taken seriously, often there is no question of devotion, since you can “play love” with any suitable partner.

      Feelings, as a rule, superficial, fleeting and quickly replacing each other. The playful approach to love leads to short-term relationships and is not conducive to building strong bonds.

      Mania – obsessed love.

      The main characteristics of such love are obsession with a partner, passion and jealousy, anger and aggression.Such love does not give satisfaction and a feeling of happiness, a person experiencing obsessed love is almost always in a state of tension and fear of loss.

      Mania does not make any person happy.

      Pragma – practical love. In such love, a partner is chosen according to the necessary criteria, he must meet the requirements and meet expectations. A pragmatic approach to love ensures the longest and most reliable relationship, because in such love there is no heightened intensity of feelings, no anger and obsession, no games and deception, there is a conscious choice of a suitable partner according to all or many criteria, which provides a solid foundation for a relationship.

      Agape – sacrificial love.

      The love of an altruist, the needs of a loved one are more important than their own, efforts and actions are aimed at improving the quality of life of a partner, even to the detriment of their own interests. People with sacrificial love often feel unhappy, they spend a lot of energy to make their loved one happy, while they lose themselves and waste all their resources, become tired, quickly tired and irritable, and often suffer from psychosomatic diseases.

      Such love makes you “run in a circle”, the more unhappy a person feels, the more effort he tries to make his partner happy – this is a vicious circle.

      Storge is love-friendship.

      Such love is based on friendship, friendship that is strong and lasting. Often, two from the same company, in which they have been friends for many years, suddenly begin to feel love for each other, and then love.

      It is difficult to predict a happy and long-term relationship, but if in a couple the idea of ​​how a partner should treat another partner coincides with reality, then we can safely say: such a relationship will be happy and long-term.

      After all, as soon as one partner has the confidence that the other does not love him enough, or not in the way he should love, then quarrels and conflicts will not be long in coming.

      Arising quarrels and disputes do not always carry a negative charge, they often help to resolve conflicts and unite the couple. Sometimes, the absence of disputes is a signal that not everything is going smoothly in a relationship, because without disputes it is impossible to eliminate the contradictions that exist in any relationship, because two will never be absolutely identical to each other.

      6 types of love

      These are quite different feelings, similar only externally, in terms of the development of the plot and persons. If agape, storge and pragma are love by all indications, then the other types: mania, ludus and eros are love-like feelings; poor quality of love, in the most aggravated forms – mental illness, which can be eliminated only with the help of specialists.

      Love-agape. She is “you” focused, full of altruism and adoration, she is patient and full of enduring affection.He who loves with such love is ready to forgive everything. Agape – based on the traditional Christian view, according to which love does not require anything in return, it is kind, patient and constant. This love is associated with Jesus Christ. For lovers there is no life, they like the usual course of household chores, the habit does not extinguish their feelings. They take pleasure in knowing a loved one, anticipating how he will respond to their actions. They trust each other deeply, they are not afraid of infidelity.

      Love-storge – this is love, similar to parental tenderness, understanding, love-custody, patronage, adoration “without fever, without confusion and recklessness, peaceful and enchanting affection.”It develops gradually – not as a “blow of an arrow”, but as a slow blossoming of a bud, germination of roots and their going into the depths. Storge is a strong and enduring type of love that withstands any test. Such love can even endure a long separation, as did the famous love of Penelope for Odysseus, the ancient prototype of the storge.

      Love-pragma – balanced and in a certain sense “practical” love. Pragma is not only a type of love, but also a way of finding it; a lover selects a partner based on well-thought-out requirements for him.When a suitable candidate is finally found and mutual understanding is reached, pragmatic love develops into a stronger and deeper feeling. A true pragmist cannot love someone who is not worthy of love. He sees to the smallest detail all the value or non-value of a person. Love for him is as much a matter of the head as of the heart, and he consciously guides his feelings. He is disinterested towards his beloved: he helps him to reveal himself, does good, makes life easier, remains faithful to him in trials. The pragma has an advantage over other love feelings: over time, it has the peculiarity of becoming warmer, more sincere, more desirable.Pragma is not “lower” at all, but a full-fledged, natural feeling for a person, giving positive emotions, healthy, full-fledged offspring.

      Mania – a stormy and all-consuming feeling. It is associated with madness and confusion. The lover is constantly seized with the desire to “demand signs of love and attention from the beloved.” In this state, ecstatic outbursts are interspersed with despair. This feeling is like a “roller coaster”: steep dizzying ups and downs lead to a sudden and precipitous ending.

      Ludus – a kind of feeling that resembles flirting. According to this scheme, lovers are easily involved in the game and, as a rule, do not require any serious obligations from each other. A human can have several partners, which makes it possible to choose, and avoids dependence on one or the other. People associate sex with the role of an amusing game, a hobby, rather than a deep intimate feeling.

      Eros implies a feeling based on physical attraction and, accordingly, manifested in a strong sensual, sexual attraction.”Erotic love” is like a spark: it flashes easily and immediately goes out. It rarely leads to deep and lasting relationships.

      Lovers of the type of mania, ludus and eros get sick more often than others, their life often ends prematurely, even forcibly. Such people have a reduced, somewhat painful self-esteem, they are often ruled by a feeling of inferiority, hidden or conscious. They are highly anxious, vulnerable, and from this they have psychological breakdowns and sexual difficulties. Their self-doubt can be belligerent, sickly self-centrism can rule them.Neurasthenicity gives rise to broken love in them – hatred, painful attraction – repulsion – a fever of incompatible feelings.

      But those who love agape, storge and pragma, on the contrary, get sick less often than usual, their life is longer, happier, more harmonious, healthy offspring await them. Experiencing love agape, storge and pragma from birth were brought up in favorable conditions, such conditions mean a loving father and mother, a warm and reliable atmosphere in the parental family. But those experiencing a feeling of mania, ludus, eros during upbringing did not receive enough mental attention, warmth, care, survived an overly strict or, on the contrary, indifferent, other types of complicated, deviating upbringing. From this it was concluded that the first group of feelings is specific, congenital, the second is a consequence of negligent, complicated upbringing.

      6 types of love – Women’s magazine IVONA

      But we must not forget that everything in life is much more complicated than in a schematic classification.Just as there are no identical personalities, there is no identical love for different personalities.

      The main thing turned out to be that 6 types of love are quite different feelings, similar only externally, in terms of the development of the plot and persons.

      If agape, storge and pragma are love by all indications, then the other types: mania, ludus and eros are like feelings of love; poor quality of love, in the most aggravated forms – mental illness, which can be eliminated only with the help of specialists.

      Love – agape . She is “you” focused, full of altruism and adoration, she is patient and full of enduring affection. He who loves with such love is ready to forgive everything.

      Agape – based on the traditional Christian view, according to which love does not require anything in return, it is kind, patient and constant. For lovers there is no life, they like the usual course of household chores, the habit does not extinguish their feelings. They take pleasure in knowing a loved one, anticipating how he will respond to their actions.They trust each other deeply, they are not afraid of infidelity.

      Love – storge – this is love, similar to parental tenderness, understanding, love-custody, patronage, adoration “without fever, without confusion and recklessness, peaceful and enchanting affection” (Proudhon). It develops gradually – not as a “blow of an arrow”, but as a slow blossoming of a bud, germination of roots and their going into the depths.

      Storge is a strong and stable type of love that withstands any test.Such love can even endure a long separation, as did the famous love of Penelope for Odysseus, the ancient prototype of the storge.

      Love – pragma – balanced and in a certain sense “practical” love. Pragma is not only a type of love, but also a way of finding it; a lover selects a partner based on well-thought-out requirements for him. When a suitable candidate is finally found and mutual understanding is reached, pragmatic love develops into a stronger and deeper feeling.A true pragmist cannot love someone who is not worthy of love. He sees to the smallest detail all the value or non-value of a person.

      Love for him is as much a matter of the head as of the heart, and he consciously guides his feelings. He is disinterested towards his beloved: he helps him to reveal himself, does good, makes life easier, remains faithful to him in trials.

      The pragma has an advantage over other feelings of love: over time, it has a tendency to become warmer, more sincere, more desirable. Pragma is not “lower” at all, but a full-fledged, natural feeling for a person, giving positive emotions, healthy, full-fledged offspring.

      Mania – a stormy and all-consuming feeling. It is associated with madness and confusion. The lover is constantly seized with the desire to “demand signs of love and attention from the beloved.”

      In this state, ecstatic outbursts are interspersed with despair. This feeling is like a “roller coaster”: steep dizzying ups and downs lead to a sudden and precipitous ending.

      Ludus a kind of feeling that resembles flirting. According to this scheme, lovers are easily involved in the game and, as a rule, do not require any serious obligations from each other.

      A human can have several partners, which makes it possible to choose, and avoids dependence on one or the other. People associate sex with the role of an amusing game, a hobby, rather than a deep intimate feeling.

      Eros implies a feeling based on physical attraction and, accordingly, manifested in a strong sensual, sexual attraction. Lee believes that “erotic love” is like a spark: it flashes easily and then goes out. It rarely leads to deep and lasting relationships.

      Source: heart.tj

      90,000 There are 4 types of love, and all of them are needed to keep the marriage

      In the Russian language there is, in general, one single word for love. But in many other languages, there are several different words for it, and they all mean slightly different concepts.

      There are four different types of love in Greek: filia, eros, storge and agape.

      There are excellent descriptions for all of these species, and having spouses correctly understand each of them is a sure way to help them improve their relationship. Dividing love into different categories will help you test yourself and determine if your loved one is getting too little love.

      Filia

      This word describes the type of love found in strong friendships. In a relationship where philia is present, emotional disposition and support, as well as a sense of equality, prevail.

      This type of love is VERY important in marriage – you must be best friends and treat your spouse as an equal partner. If you are not only a husband or wife to him, but also a friend, there will be more than enough fun and laughter in your marriage. You will feel more attached to each other and will support each other in achieving goals, big and small, and making any decisions.

      CS Lewis describes this love as “the least natural of all kinds of love” because the human race does not need companionship to survive.In other words, we are not biologically or instinctively programmed to seek friendship.

      Although we do not have a predisposition for philia, its presence in the relationship of spouses makes the marriage much stronger. So, among other things, become a friend to your spouse and make an effort to create a philia between you.

      Eros

      This word describes the type of love found in romantic relationships (keep “erotic” in mind). In a relationship where eros is present, there is passion and intimacy. The best Russian analogue for “eros” is “falling in love,” and this is probably the first type of love that comes to mind when you think of a spouse.

      While some may mistakenly place lust in the same category as eros, they are not the same thing. Lust is not love in any way, it is the equivalent of the general concept of “sex drive”, while eros is attraction to one particular person.

      This type of love is especially important for those couples who have allowed passion and intimacy to fade over time.While other married couples may not truly return to the honeymoon stage in their relationship, maintaining that flame of your intimacy will endlessly strengthen the bond between you.

      Storge

      This word describes the type of love found in family relationships. Storge implies affection and the ability to empathize and empathize.

      When you get married, you have turned from lovers and friends into a family. As a spouse, you have created your own family together and acquired all the functions that come with this type of relationship.

      When children are born, this type of love becomes more and more important. Your spouse is now not only your husband, but also the father of your children – and vice versa. Storge means that you will work together as parents to create the best family in the world and support each other as a father and mother.

      Agape

      This type of love is perhaps the most important in any marriage. He describes selfless, unconditional love. Some describe it as love like God or Christ.

      It is very important that the spouses are responsive to each other and love each other no matter what. Unconditional love means that your connection is so strong that you love each other, despite any mistakes, love the person as he is, with all his flaws and everything else.

      If we talk about happiness in marriage, then we can safely say that the key to it is selflessness. Spouses who are truly disinterested in their relationship will make not only their loved one happier, but also themselves. Even small acts of kindness to each other go a long way.

      Marriage is a unique concept for understanding love

      The most beautiful thing about marriage is that no one but a spouse gets all four types of love. You’ve probably felt Philia and Agape in relationships with your best friends, experienced Storge and Agape for your mom, and perhaps even experienced eros in past relationships. But your spouse or your spouse is the only person for whom you can feel friendly, passionate, family and selfless love – all types of it at once.

      Let none of the types of love fail in your relationship; Don’t underestimate the special, unique love you share with your spouse.

      Comments

      90,000 Types of love. Real women don’t sleep alone. The energy of femininity and the secrets of seduction

      Types of love

      It is with the disclosure of the concept of “archetype” that I want to start a story about the types of love and how to regulate your degree of passion. Perhaps you’ve already heard of him? Okay, then I’ll just remind you of its history. The concept of “archetype” was introduced at the very beginning of the 20th century by Carl Gustav Jung. Studying the tales and myths of different peoples, the dreams of people in different parts of the world, he came to the conclusion that we live in images of the collective unconscious, we draw information from the “well” of the genetic memory of our ancestors. And certain types of energies, types of plots, emotional reactions and images in different parts of the world manifest themselves in the same way. They are simply called differently … (Every nation has something like the generous energy of Santa Claus, the image of a folk hero or a jester.Jung discovered this and gave a name to something that has always existed. This is how the concept of “archetype” arose. Then he shaped it and gave it to the world. His followers continued to work, and now we can rely on the “archetype”, knowing ourselves and our scenarios of behavior.

      Archetypes are primary models that convey the essence, form and method of communication of inherited unconscious prototypes and structures of the psyche, passing from generation to generation. These are some packaged programs, role models, ways of emotional responses and behaviors that we unconsciously follow from birth.

      There are a great many archetypes, but today we will talk specifically about women’s programs, passed down as a heritage from generation to generation. And as a basis, my dear, we will take the pantheon of Greek Goddesses. With the help of myths and legends about them, we will get acquainted with the plot of the main program, its goals and objectives, with the types of love, emotions, values ​​and behaviors present there. Let’s talk about what we broadcast through ourselves to the world, and what our viewer sees.

      Archetypes define who we marry, how we look, what we want and what we get.How we love to love us … This is something that we can unpack, realize and use for our own good. This knowledge will be very useful to you when you and I will study the archetypes of our femininity, learn to see in ourselves the manifestations and scenarios of the divine pantheon. What is it for? To go beyond the archetype, to free yourself from its power, to regain the opportunity to be different. Sweet, female psyche is very mobile and flexible – this is also in our genetic memory, and consciousness is ready to move after our instructions.If you find or have already found in yourself an ineffective program that separates you from happiness, do not worry, now you yourself can become the author of your own happiness.

      Now I will tell you about the types of love, dear, and they will help you in studying the next topic, help you answer the question: “What kind of goddess am I?” or “Why is everything like this in my life? What is my script talking about? ”

      Types of love is the ability to understand and regulate the degree of passion or, conversely, quiet warmth in a couple. Do you remember that I said that our main feminine ability is to be different, that our main happiness and main responsibility is to be skillful in the atmosphere of relationships, not to let them turn sour and stagnate, to change manifestations and sound, to give a man different selves? Getting to know different types of love and their different manifestations will help you with this. However, first I invite you to create within yourself the feeling that you are in the theater. The curtain is about to open and the show begins. Catch this wave, we will need it in order to look a little detached at every manifestation of love.

      Everything in the world revolves around this feeling, everything in the world is saturated with it, and everyone in the world has their own. Just as it is impossible to compare flowers, seasons, impressions from visiting different parts of the world, it is also impossible to compare manifestations of love. Everyone has their own love, unique, transforming everything that happens around them into a state of happiness. Psychologists often refer to happiness as the dry term “subjective well-being.” What’s behind it? The ability to live not according to someone else’s instructions or according to someone’s obligation, but to implement their program, their taste of happiness and love, building everything so as not to argue strongly with the norms of society.It is impossible to give a guide to happiness or write a book “how to love correctly”, this concept is too subjective. But it is quite possible to describe the path, give direction, build a storyline, allow yourself to become the main heroine of your life. For this we need an outside view.

      Remember the variety of subjects that you have met in life. For example, “Italian couples”, who are in the eternal volume of relations, and it may seem from the outside that it would be high time for them to break up and not torment each other.But, having talked in each of the parties warmly and confidentially, it turns out that they are happy. This is their state of subjective well-being, and both of them feel good about it, this is their form of love. Or couples who live as if in separation and each is busy with his own business, and if you look at it from the standpoint of “the right way”, it may seem that this is avoiding each other, and they are Ho-Ro-Sho, they are happy with this freedom and opportunities to realize yourself. There are an infinite number of such examples, and they give life a variety, create an abundance and uniqueness of the relationship pattern.

      Our journey, which we embark on together, will always be directed towards your awareness: “How is it with me? What do I need? What makes me subjectively happy? ” For this we are poisoning with you as if to the theater. There, using the example of the script of the Greek goddesses and the descriptions of the types of love that have come down to us, we will come closer to answering your question: “What is my happiness? What is she, my love? ”

      Love is the feeling that gives light to our life. This is the main resource of our personality and from the inability to receive it, we feel the greatest disappointments, frustrations and stress in life.

      The first type of love is called Eros. This is what we experience when we are in love. Those same “butterflies in the lower abdomen”, languor, attraction, attraction and again attraction to the chosen one as an object of sexual passion. It is the desire to possess the object of love in the physical plane. This is a surge of vitality and the addition of brightness to everything that happens through this state. The main source, which feeds love of Eros, are endorphins – “hormones of happiness”. Imagine that you are looking at the world through upside-down binoculars, and what is close is seen through it as something distant.With this metaphor, I want to show you how, under the influence of this love, we distort reality: we do not see the flaws of a partner and show ourselves only from the best side, showing only our best qualities until the strength ends … The human body cannot live all the time in such tension; no matter how sweet this love is, he gets tired. And the charter returns to its usual functioning, and at this moment everything falls into place, and reality manifests itself in all its glory.Imperfections come to the surface, and a collision with them is experienced by each of the parties as a “fall from paradise.” In such couples, Italian passions often boil, which help them keep the heat and nerve, sweetly and passionately put up after quarrels. People live this way and themselves do not realize why, they are guided by unconscious impulses.

      Love Eros – these are the arrows of Eros, the little son of Aphrodite, arrows that strike into the heart and intoxicate with feeling. On the one hand, this is just a type of love, but on the other, this is the program that can guide and rule you through life.And it manifests itself in the inability to see happiness in a long relationship, falling into the trap of “everyday life”, the endless search for “butterflies in the lower abdomen.”

      What if Eros is the main taste of your love? There are many options: you can part more often, create an opportunity for yourself to keep the heat of passions, be in the scenario “The wife of a long voyage captain”. And you can realize that Eros is not all love, or rather not even Love, but only its beginning. Yes, of course, it is impossible to resist Eros, even the great Gods were afraid of Eros! But you don’t need to resist it, enjoy this period and move on, forward to true love.And often remind yourself that Eros is not all love, it is just one of the tastes, states, stages of love.

      The next type of love that I want to tell you about is love – Storge. Storge is love-tenderness or brother-sister love, which is based on similar views, interests: “I love you because I am interested in you. I love you and want to spend time with you, sharing these interests. We, as a team, complement each other and feel a surge of vitality in this community. “There are elements of friendship here. Storge is not charged with the nerve of passion.

      This relationship is rather warm than hot, understanding, rather than drawing into madness for the sake of another person, prudent and even. The hormone that is produced in this relationship is called oxytocin. It is a hormone of affection and trust. Support and the ability to count on each other, without luxurious surprises and stunning gifts, sweet and understanding actions, a joint dinner with a discussion of a movie or book – this is the romance of this love.Both partners must be adherents of this type of love, otherwise one of the partners may become bored in such a relationship. And as you know, when boredom rolls over us, we start looking for fun and adventure …

      Love Mania … This is a desire to dissolve in a person, a nerve, a thirst for presence, sleepless nights, jealousy and a desire to possess. Obsession and dependence on relationships: “I can’t imagine myself without you!” You can connect with this energy by playing the song “Je Suis Malade” performed by Lara Fabian at full volume.Psychologists call such love a “dependent relationship”, when a loved one is like the source of life, when dopamine, the hormone of life and its brightness, is produced only in his presence. He is what everything happens for. Do you remember the words of the classic: “You smile, I am glad, you turn away – I am longing”? This is just about that. Mania can accompany Eros and connect in the marshmallow phase of a relationship. However, it also happens that it becomes the main taste of love and results in the need to accompany with such an intensity all your life.This is a great and terrible mania.

      I present to you one more type of love: Love Pragma. This love is not born from an impulse, but from a decision to love. It tastes like “I love you because… you are strong and brave, you are serious, because you will be a good father or because you are respected, I can rely on you. Pragma is the ability to appreciate a partner and see the benefits. Do not think that this is mercantile or venal love, although if your leading type of love is Eros, it may well seem to you … This is love that is especially clearly manifested in a couple at the stage of maintaining a relationship, when the “marshmallow-festive” stage is already over.This is love in which the hormone oxytocin is also involved. At the state level, it manifests itself as follows: “I get a taste of the sweetness of everyday life, we are a couple, and our roles are assigned. I know that it tastes good to me in you, and you know that it tastes good to you in me. ” This is a pleasant and warm deal, an exchange of qualities, an exchange of benefits. Lyubov Pragma, as a mature and balanced type of love, calm ability to speak with each other the language of partnership and benefits, or just feel and accept them in pairs: “I give you youth and beauty, and you give me care and comfort.I bring up our children, and you bring a resource for this, I build a network of connections and think about promotion, and at this time you create your masterpieces, dear. ”

      And finally, the last type of love – is Agape. This is high and pure love – acceptance. The Greeks called her great love, unconditional. This is the acceptance of man by the creation of God on earth, this is the ability to love without conditions and the ability to learn in relationships. Agape is spiritual love … “I love you even if you leave me; if you’re better off with the other, then I’ll let you go. “Acceptance of a loved one as a whole with good and bad, with dark and light inside your soul. The closeness and thrill of souls, service in unity to God. A great path in the name of truth, mission, not looking at each other, but in one direction with a high goal.

      When you want to fall in love, then without inviting the energy into life Eros you cannot be a tasty candy, without an inner feeling like love Pragma you cannot keep the relationship as a partner, cool taste You will need Storge when you are a team raising a child of like-minded people or creating a joint business.For a man to feel like the first after God, you need the elements of Mania, when you give all your girlfriends a turn from the gate or follow him to “darkness” to the new destination of his career. And each of us, having been born a woman, is endowed with this pure love Agape, the fire of the soul, acceptance and faith in the highest meaning of your union. Learn to travel through these states, discover them in yourself. Through this knowledge, you will definitely understand which facet of you will now be tasty for your partner, and you will be able to demonstrate it.

      And now let’s get acquainted with our Greek Pantheon, and before your eyes, my dear, there will appear 8 goddesses living inside us. They will be divided into virgin goddesses, which means their inner independence from relationships, self-sufficiency, and into goddesses who need to be in a relationship, this is their program. Separately, we will talk about the alchemical goddess Aphrodite, who combines the features of other goddesses.

      This text is an introductory fragment.

      Continuation for liters

      Psychology and Life »Types of Love

      Love is a very multifaceted feeling, to love is to respect and appreciate a partner, to feel passion and attraction for him, to take care and help, to be close and support, to compromise and resolve conflicts through discussions. There are several types of love that are indicated in Greek terms.These are eros , ludus , mania, pragma, agape and storge . Let’s take a closer look at the typology of love.

      Eros – sensual love. Such love is characterized by passion, physical attraction and devotion. In the first place – feelings, emotions and a storm of human passions. Sensual love gives a person great satisfaction in a loving relationship, which helps to strengthen relationships, increase self-esteem, and increase self-confidence.

      Ludus is a love game. Love is perceived as a game, therefore responsibility is not held in high esteem for such love. Any events are not taken seriously, often there is no question of devotion, since you can “play love” with any suitable partner. Feelings are usually superficial, fleeting and quickly replacing each other. The playful approach to love leads to short-term relationships and is not conducive to building strong bonds.

      Mania – obsessed love.The main characteristics of such love are obsession with a partner, passion and jealousy, anger and aggression. Such love does not give satisfaction and a feeling of happiness, a person experiencing obsessed love is almost always in a state of tension and fear of loss. Mania doesn’t make any person happy.

      Pragma – practical love. In such love, a partner is chosen according to the necessary criteria, he must meet the requirements and meet expectations. A pragmatic approach to love ensures the longest and most reliable relationship, because in such love there is no heightened intensity of feelings, no anger and obsession, no games and deception, there is a conscious choice of a suitable partner according to all or many criteria, which provides a solid foundation for a relationship.

      Agape – sacrificial love. The love of an altruist, the needs of a loved one are more important than their own, efforts and actions are aimed at improving the quality of life of a partner, even to the detriment of their own interests. People with sacrificial love often feel unhappy, they spend a lot of energy to make their loved one happy, while they lose themselves and waste all their resources, become tired, quickly tired and irritable, and often suffer from psychosomatic diseases.Such love makes you “run in a circle”, the more unhappy a person feels, the more effort he tries to make his partner happy – this is a vicious circle.

      Storge is love-friendship. This kind of love is based on friendship, friendship that is strong and lasting. Often, two from the same company, in which they have been friends for many years, suddenly begin to feel love for each other, and then love.

      It is difficult to predict a happy and long-term relationship, but if in a couple the idea of ​​how a partner should treat another partner coincides with reality, then we can safely say: such a relationship will be happy and long-term.After all, as soon as one partner has the confidence that the other does not love him enough, or not in the way he should love, then quarrels and conflicts will not be long in coming.

      Arising quarrels and disputes do not always carry a negative charge, they often help to resolve conflicts and unite the couple. Sometimes, the absence of disputes is a signal that not everything is going smoothly in a relationship, because without disputes it is impossible to eliminate the contradictions that exist in any relationship, because two will never be absolutely identical to each other.

      You may be interested in the following articles:

    2. Understanding: what prevents partners from understanding each other?
    3. Cheating: Why Do People Cheat?
    4. Marital relations. Why are two together?
    5. Love: why is it and what for?
    6. What prevents love in marriage?
    7. Heading: Man and woman

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      90,000 5 types of manifestations of love (find out your type!)


      Not all people speak the same language in love! This is an important thing, but we understand it, as a rule, already with experience.Others may be completely different from us: they show and express love in a completely different way

      Not all people speak the same language in love! This is an important thing, but we understand it, as a rule, already with experience. Others may not be like us at all; they show and express love in a very different way.

      When a loved one shows his feelings in a different way to which we are ready and accustomed, it often pushes us to the wrong conclusion: we are not loved.It’s the same with us: when our own behavior does not live up to their expectations, loved ones may lose faith in our feelings. That is why sincere communication and attention is so important in relationships: how else do we know how we ourselves can better show our love so that a loved one understands us?

      So, here are the 5 main love languages. Which one is yours?

      1. Words

      This is exactly what women love with their ears. Words of love have an independent value: a person can shower a beloved or beloved with gifts, generously give attention, not take a step away – and still his partner will feel discomfort if the right words are not uttered (and even in the right amount: for some people it is not enough to hear “I love you” once – it should sound constantly).The behavior of such people can leave an impression of ingratitude: they do so much for them, but they demand some more words! In fact, they are not at all ungrateful, just a verbal expression of love is more accessible to them than any other.

      2. Courtship

      In contrast to the previous type, this is a way of expressing love, based on the principle of “actions speak for themselves.” Why unnecessary words? For adherents of this type, only actions matter. They literally cannot imagine life without courtship, and this does not mean romantic trips to a restaurant or beautiful gifts, but real actions: the most natural thing for such a person is to constantly try to help, do something for his partner, support him with an act.It is such a person who will hold an open umbrella over you, even if you quarreled and do not talk. Such people are very discerning: in turn, they refuse to believe in your love until you start doing something, and flowers and candy will not count.

      3. Gifts

      Yes, this is also a special type of love. A gift is not necessarily something expensive, it is by no means always a valuable item. This is literally a sign of attention – material evidence that you thought about your loved one (for example, in a store, passing by the counter with his favorite sweets).For many people, this is the material embodiment of the idea of ​​giving and receiving: not only in the material, but also in a deeper sense. So receiving and giving is a serious psychological need for them. Unfortunately for adherents of this type of love, they are often reproached for greed and commercialism, while ignoring the fact that they themselves give with the same pleasure that they accept gifts.

      4. Time spent together

      Time is an amazing thing: we all have it equally, and at the same time, too little, but we can never get rid of the memories of the time spent.For some people, time is the most important and valuable thing they can give you. And they expect this in return, so when you are with them, turn off your phone, do not listen to the radio playing in the background, do not look around. Your time – and your attention – should be theirs. It is for such people that it is most problematic to understand introverts who simply physically need to spend a lot of time alone. Refusing to share time with them seems like betrayal.

      5.Physical contact

      For adherents of this type, every little touch is a gift. Such people are very fond of walking holding hands, which can be completely misleading and superficially interpreted as a demonstration of your relationship to the public. In fact, it is important for them to just feel the warmth of your hand. They always try to be as close to you as possible: to sit down so that they touch you, to fall asleep in an embrace. Oddly enough, it is this love language, so natural, that is the most underestimated.Physical contact is a matter of course, so why focus on it? Nevertheless, if your partner “speaks” this language, he will understand and deeply appreciate your love only when it is physically manifest.

      So, what is a trifle for some, for others is a sincere manifestation of deep feelings. Fortunately, love really is like a language: we always have a chance to understand each other. So even if you and your loved one are completely different types, having a heart-to-heart conversation will help you better understand each other’s expectations and attitudes.It may be easier to make your lover happy than you thought!

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