Mind games relationships: 15 Signs of Mind Games in a Relationship

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15 Signs of Mind Games in a Relationship

Whether it’s unnecessarily mean or manipulating another person, all signs of mind games in a relationship center around having power over others.

Have you ever been confused by your partner’s or date’s behavior? Does it feel like your partner is sending mixed signals?

Today, they seem enthusiastic about your date but turn cold when you eventually meet. Or has it gotten to a stage where you keep playing different scenarios of how the evening will go because of their unpredictability? These are signs of mind games in a relationship.

Mind games are actions insecure people use to be the alpha in a relationship or on a date.

Although people who play mind games tend to be males, some females are skillful in displaying signs of mind games in a relationship.

So, why do people play mind games, or why do they exercise signs of mind control in a relationship? What does the word mind games mean? Keep reading to find out more.

What are mind games in a relationship?

Mind games are psychological tactics used by someone to manipulate or intimidate another person. People play mind games because it makes them feel powerful and in control. Also, it allows people to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and feelings.

Some examples of mind games in relationships include playing hard to get, being mean for no reason, leading someone on, or controlling attitudes. These are some of the common signs of mind games in relationships.

If these signs sound familiar to you and you want to know how to tell if someone is playing mind games with you, continue reading this article.

5 Reasons why do people play mind games

There are different reasons people play mind games, but the end game is to gain power over others.

Check the following reasons people show signs of mind games:

1. They want something

People who play mind games want a specific response from their partner or people around them. However, instead of requesting politely or telling others what they wish, they achieve their aim through mischievous and manipulative acts.

They relish playing games with emotions rather than speaking out. For instance, a person who plays mind games might want you to care for them. Instead, they make you uncomfortable and grumble when you show care to others.

2. They want to manipulate you

People who play mind games do so to manipulate you into doing something for them. Their needs may include the following:

  • Money
  • Love
  • Care
  • Sex
  • Partnership
  • Friendship
  • To boost their self-esteem

Everyone asks for the above list one way or the other, people who show signs of mind games only go about it wrong.

Related Reading: How to Recognize and Handle Manipulation in Relationships

3. They like to be in control

The whole essence of playing mind games is to be in charge of others. People who play mind games desire to have someone they can control and command around.

The alpha position gives them some adrenaline, reassuring them they have power. It gives them confidence and self-esteem. Thus they consistently show signs of mind control to seal their position.

Also Try: Controlling Relationship Quiz

4. They like to make you feel weak

One may want to ask, “Why do people play mind games exactly?” There is no other reason for people who play mind games than to make others weak. To them, it is a challenge where they alone become the winner.

Meanwhile, the signs of mind control in a relationship come from low self-esteem and cowardice. Instead of solving these problems, they would project them onto others.

5. They need to feel important

Closely related to one of the signs of mind games in relationships is playing hard to get. That usually happens in intimate relationships or a donation. People with signs of mind games want to feel unique and essential to you.

As such, they send you mixed signals to confuse you so that you can be persistent. They like the rush it gives them when others beg for their attention.

Now that people show signs of mind games in relationships, it is vital to be well acquainted with typical symptoms of mind control manipulative people use in relationships.

15 Signs of mind games in a relationship

So you are not sure if your partner is playing mind games with you or not?

Read on to know how you can find out. Here are some obvious signs that your partner is playing mind games or manipulating you. 

1. They confuse you

Confusion is one of the common signs of mind games in a relationship. People who play mind games in a relationship leave you doubting the relationship and their feelings. You are unsure of how they feel and where you stand with them.

For instance, they might be cheerful today with you but suddenly become mean the next day. They might be very hot and cold or sometimes suddenly turn on you for no apparent reason.

If you question your position and feelings all the time in a relationship, it is a sign your partner is playing mind games.

2. You doubt yourself around them

One of the signs of mind control in a relationship is when you doubt and question yourself whenever you are with your partner. People who play mind games in a relationship make you question your ability to make certain decisions.

That’s because you don’t know how they will react. For instance, you find it hard to tell them about something you did days earlier because you are unsure if they will condemn it or encourage it.

Watch this video to know how to build your confidence:

3. They blame you all the time

Another tactic of people who play mind games in a relationship is to blame. They blame you on every occasion, including those that are not your fault. For example, your intention may be to tell your partner of an incident just for fun.

However, they will still blame you for acting in a particular way. Being perfect and knowledgeable is a crucial trait of people who show signs of mind games in a relationship.

Related Reading: How to Deal With Someone Who Blames You for Everything

4. They put you down 

One of the signs of mind games in a relationship is when your partner puts you down to make you feel bad. What happens out of envy for what you have or because you are better than them at something.

So, instead of encouraging you in some unpleasant situation, they put you down to make you feel better. Your present awful feeling is a win for them.

They may also make nasty remarks about you or your dressing in front of others. It is all about power play and the need to feel better than you. So, you can see the problem is with them and not you.

5. They intentionally hurt your feelings

As strange as it may sound, some people relish making others feel bad about themselves. They might shout at you for helping them, even when they didn’t ask for it.

Also, they enjoy playing mind games by making rude comments about you and your friends. These signs of mind games in a relationship leave you feeling bad about yourself.

6. They use others against you

You think your partner should have your back, but you will be surprised by people who play mind games in a relationship. After several unsuccessful attempts to make you feel bad, they turn others against you.

They do this by engaging in conversations they know you hate with others. Also, they make rude and nasty comments about you in front of others. They intend to make everyone desert you, so they can appear like the only one who stays.

7. They tell people you are a liar

In psychological mind games relationships, people who play mind games call you liars.

They start by falsely accusing you of making things up or exaggerating when you talk. Then, they might begin to tell other people that you’re a liar or that you are not pleasant.

Such a situation may force you to defend yourself endlessly and explain what’s going on to them. 

8. They envy you

If you want to know how to tell if someone is playing mind games with you, study their reaction when you own something new. Often, they can’t hide their emotions.

Deep down, people who show signs of mind games in a relationship want the things you have, including a college degree, a stable career, a family, and material items.

Thus, they make you feel bad or transfer aggression when you buy something new.

9. They compare you with others

Another way of playing mind games in a relationship is to make baseless comparisons. Comparison is a fundamental commandment of people who show signs of mind control in a relationship.

Your partner might tell you that your friends are more beautiful than you are. Also, they always find a way to compare you with their exes in a conversation or an argument.

10. They make themselves the center of attention

Have you ever gone out to an occasion where you invite your partner to, and they make themselves the focus? For instance, they take your chance by introducing themselves when you should be the one.

Even when you leave them to enjoy the party, they need to take your glory when speaking with your friends.

11. They control your decisions

One leading sign of people who play mind games in a relationship is controlling their decision-making. They want to be the only competent person who knows all things. Hence, they dissuade you from following your guts and replacing your ideas with theirs.

They even cite how the situation might go wrong if you don’t follow their advice. When their suggestion fails, they say it’s your fault. These are signs of a mind game in a relationship.

12. They make you come to them

Playing mind games in a relationship includes forcing others to come to you without making any effort. If your partner plays mind games a lot, they will never call or text you first. They don’t set up dinner dates or movie nights.

Instead, you’re the one texting and begging them to make the relationship work.

13. They never talk about themselves

People who show signs of mind games in A relationship never let their guard down in conversation. While you talk about your vulnerabilities and weak points, they listen attentively but never reveal anything about themselves.

When your partner doesn’t talk about themselves to you like you do, you will be left wondering if they value the relationship you both have.

14. They shut you out of their lives

If you feel like your partner shuts you out of their lives every time, it is one of the signs of mind games in a relationship.

For example, if someone regularly blocks you from their special events, they want to confuse you and keep you guessing about what’s going on.

Sometimes, people who play mind games do this to know how much you care about them. They want to see how far you will go to get their attention. The chase gives them trills.

15. They make you feel jealous

Some of the signs of mind games in a relationship include the need to make others feel jealous. People who play mind games like attention, so they improvise to make you feel jealous when you don’t give them.

Making others feel jealous is a classic manipulative act many people use. It comes in different forms, including your partner posting pictures of others on social media or flirting with other people or their ex. These behaviors will make you question their intention towards you.

Related Reading: How to Stop Being Jealous in Your Relationship

How to deal with a partner playing mind games

It can be confusing and overwhelming dealing with people who play mind games. However, if you still value your relationship with them, you can use strategies to make them better people.

  • Express yourself clearly and precisely, explaining how their actions make you feel. Remember to back your case up with relevant examples of mind games. 

 

  • Ensure they apologize and promise to turn over a new leaf. Note that it may take some time for them to change, but it’s worth the wait if they make some effort.

 

  • If your partner refuses to accept responsibility for their action, it may be time to decide. Staying with them and hoping they will change may mean it will take time.

Similarly, if you choose to move on with your life, talk to friends and families to provide a robust support system around you. Also, you may speak to a coach or therapist to help you through the moment.

Conclusion

Signs of mind games in relationships make you feel sad, replaceable, and worthless. People who play mind games do so to gain control over others.

Recognizing the signs of mind control in a relationship can help you decide if the relationship is worth it or not. Besides, you feel fulfilled and worthy.

Mind Games in Relationships: What They Look Like & How to Avoid Them

Playtime Is Over, Put An End to Your Partner’s Incessant Mind Games

Ever been confused by your crush’s behavior? Felt like the person you’re dating was sending you mixed messages? Gotten to a point of having no clue how they’d act the next time you saw them, or even when that would be, because of their seeming unpredictability? 

Sounds like you’ve fallen victim to someone’s mind games.

RELATED: How to Ask Someone Out Like a Champ

A name for a loose set of behaviors that people sometimes engage in in a dating context, mind games may have an innocuous enough name, but they’re usually anything but fun to be on the receiving end of.  

In order to figure out the playbook for these so-called games, AskMen spoke with a number of dating experts to understand what they look like, why people engage in them, and what you can do if you find yourself in the midst of one. 


What Are Dating Mind Games?


Whether it takes the form of playing hard to get, being ‘hot and cold,’ leading someone on, using someone else to provoke jealousy, or something else entirely, these mind games have one thing in common: One person is in control while the other is left trying to figure out what’s going on. 

“‘Games’ in terms of relationships are maneuvers people do to manipulate others, including dates and partners,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of “Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today.” 

While Tessina posits that these mind games can have both positive and negative aspects, often, they’re a source of confusion for at least one person in the equation.  

To dating coach Connell Barrett, founder of DatingTransformation.com, that’s because there’s an inherent dishonesty to them. 

“Playing games is about intentionally not being transparent and forthright with the person you’re dating,” he says. 

Why Do People Play Mind Games With Others?

If they’re distinctly dishonest and often leave one person feeling like they’re going crazy, what’s the point to these games? Well, it turns out there is some kind of logic underlying them. 

SKYN Condoms sex and intimacy expert Gigi Engle believes that mind games are often a way for the manipulating person to address their own fears around intimacy and relationships. 

“A dating game is an immature coping mechanism that people use to hide their feelings and avoid being vulnerable with people,” she says. 

People who play these games, Engle explains, “don’t know how to cope with intense adult feelings. Instead, she suggests, they “choose instead to play games like leaving someone on read so you don’t seem ‘needy,’ playing hard to get so you can seem extra desirable, or pretending not to care about someone you do care about in order to feel like you’re in control of a situation.”

According to Tessina, this kind of behavior can be ingrained from your earliest experiences around attraction. 

Just think about it — the stereotype of grade school boys teasing girls they have crushes on aren’t much different from grown-up dating games where you treat someone badly in one way or another in order to get their attention. However, while some might consider these games to be a quasi-innocent approach that others simply don’t share, there are some who approach dating in a distinctly harmful way.

“Some people play games because they take a tactical approach, treating it like chess or ‘Battleship,’” says Barrett. The problem with using these kinds of games as a model for dating, he notes, is that in them, “one side wins and the other side loses.

“When someone is determined to ‘win’ the game, they can cheat, lie or withhold,” he adds. “This turns dating into a win-lose, rather than the way you should see it: as a collaborative, win-win experience for both sides.”


Different Types of Dating Mind Games & What They Look Like


You might have a better understanding of these mind games by now, but how can you tell when someone’s engaging in them? That can be a little trickier. 

There’s no official encyclopedia that breaks down every single kind and type (and if there were, it would quickly become obsolete as people came up with new ones). 

However, it is possible to list some common ones, which you’ll find below:

Mixed Messages/Hot and Cold

One of the most common types of mind games is sending someone mixed messages, according to Tessina — ‘playing someone hot and cold’ because the impact of the different ways you’re treating the other person will leave them feeling vastly different ways. This could mean pairing being lovey-dovey with being standoffish, being highly present with being very hard to get a hold of, being kind and giving with being angry and mean, etc. 

Playing Hard to Get

Tessina notes that another extra common dating game is “being distant,” aka playing hard to get. In this scenario, someone who likes you won’t express that like — even if you are forthcoming about your own feelings — in order to make you feel like you have to really work for their affection. This can feel like being played hot and cold, minus the hot part. 

Leading Someone On/Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing is a term for “when your interest in someone is half-hearted so you string them along with flirty messages without really trying to see them,” says Barrett. In years past (or in a non-digital dating context), this might have simply been considered leading someone on — acting like there’s potential between you when there really isn’t. 

Provoking Jealousy

One way to toy with someone’s feelings can be to make it seem like there’s someone else in the picture, forcing them to compete for your affections — if they really care. Barrett notes that this could take the form of “talking about your ex, or flirting with other people in front of your date,” among other behaviors. 

Ghosting (and Zombieing/Submarining)

Ghosting is “intentionally not replying to messages in order to make them wonder if you’ve lost interest or are possibly dating other people,” says Barrett. “The idea? You make yourself a scarce resource, thereby becoming more valuable, and desirable, in their eyes.” Zombieing and submarining are terms for ways you might appear back in someone’s life after a prolonged period of ghosting. 

RELATED: Zombieing, Submarining and 60+ Other Dating Terms, Explained

Love-Bombing

On the flip-side of playing hard to get and ghosting, you have love-bombing. Think of it as playing someone hot and cold, without the cold — you come on super strong, stronger than your feelings warrant, and get very serious and/or romantic in order to convince the other person that you’re their dream partner.  

Negging

“Professional pickup artists teach men to ‘neg’ women,” says Barrett. “A ‘neg’ is a backhanded compliment meant to make someone feel insecure, lowering their confidence.” There are lots of different ways to accomplish this, but negging is a very toxic approach to dating that places more importance on getting laid through random hookups with strangers than developing a real connection with someone. 

Benching

Benching isn’t exactly a dating game, as it’s not a game you could play with someone you’re dating. Rather, it’s a game you might play with someone you’re attracted to when you’re dating someone else — being minorly flirtatious with them in order to keep their interest up in case things don’t work out with your existing partner, a form of micro-cheating. 

Miscellaneous

According to Barrett, some forms of mind games aren’t necessarily classifiable. Instead, they’re simply “when your words and your actions don’t match.

“For example, you say you want a relationship but you never commit the time, energy or emotional investment to make that relationship possible,” he says. “This is common with online dating, when people say they want to meet and transition from pen pals to a real-life date, but it never happens. Why? Because the game-player never meant it.”


How to Respond to Someone’s Mind Games


Of course, it’s possible to mistake erratic behavior or unintentional situations as constituting one or more types of dating game — which is one thing that often keeps the person on the receiving end of someone’s mind games from confronting them.

Indeed, part of what makes these mind games so powerful is they’re rarely particularly obvious, and fear of calling out what could actually be innocuous or innocent behavior keeps people quiet. 

After all, what could be more embarrassing than ruining a blossoming romance with someone because you accused them of playing games with you when there was a good reason for their strange behavior?

“Game-playing is defined by bad intentions, but some behavior can seem like a game when it’s innocent,” says Barrett. “Let’s say a man and woman have a first date. She has an expectation that guys should ask for the second date before the first date is over. He doesn’t ask her out for a couple days after the date, so she thinks he’s playing a game to make her insecure. But he might simply have a different rule for asking for date No. 2. There were no games, no bad intentions — just conflicting expectations.”

But just because you shouldn’t jump to accusations of game-playing doesn’t mean you should roll over and experience that frustration without saying anything. 

“Being vulnerable isn’t weak — it’s the stronger, more mature choice,” states Engle. “Open and honest communication is the only avenue to secure and healthy relationships. Communication errors happen, but being able to talk through them and move on is imperative.”

Suppose you’re sensing that your crush is playing you hot and cold. One day they want to exchange texts for hours, then they disappear for most of a week. They come back wanting more texting (or even suggest a phone call), and then disappear again. You feel like you’re going crazy. How do you respond? 

Tessina suggests giving them a chance to explain themselves. 

“Asking works wonders,” she says. “‘Do you mean that, or are you just kidding?’ is a great question to ask. Or, ‘I don’t understand. Why are you not calling me?’ If your questions don’t get answers, or if you think you’re being ghosted, stop making contact. Be silent. For as long as it takes. It’s not easy, but it works great.”

Depending on their response to you putting your foot down, you’ll have a good idea of whether there’s any potential here. Engle says that if they try to flip the script and make it out like you’re the one being unreasonable, it’s time to get out of there. 

“If you know they’re playing games, or your gut knows, then head for the hills,” agrees Barrett. “Life is too short to date deceptive people.

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3 Mind Games Insecure Men Play In Abusive Relationships | Kathryn Brown Ramsperger

So you’re wondering if he’s a keeper?

That is, until the evening he’s a no-show for dinner, doesn’t mention forgetting your date when he calls, and then says it’s all your fault when you bring it up.

You hang up (or stop texting) dumbfounded.

The next time something similar happens, you start to doubt yourself, not the relationship.

You wonder what you’re doing wrong, and the next thing you know you’re crying into your pillow and believing you’re not good enough.

RELATED: 15 Signs You’re Stuck In A Soul-Sucking, Toxic Relationship

Stop the madness! The game of Life and Love is way too short to spend time on someone who doesn’t value you.

I tell my clients to think twice before teaming up in any kind of relationship with an insecure man who plays one of these three mind games.

1. Blame

Words can hurt you as much as the proverbial stick and stone, especially if these words are frequent and yet unpredictable. People point the finger to get the upper hand, much like they’d keep a poker face in a card game.

Blaming and projection may be largely subconscious, but that makes them even more dangerous to a relationship.

Blamers lack self-esteem, yet they don’t want to admit it, so they need to find fault with you instead of looking at themselves.

Chronic words of blame start a game that will only produce two losers, even though the person blaming the other thinks they’ll come out the victor.

What to do if someone is blaming you for everything:

First, get some perspective. Take time alone or talk to a friend, coach, or therapist about what part you may be taking in all of this back and forth name-calling.

How much are you responsible for? Are you more often the blamer or the blamee?

If the latter, then act like a scientist and gather concrete data on when the blame happens.

If it’s when you’re trying to get closer, or when you’re feeling especially great about yourself or having a really good day, have a talk with your friend or partner.

If the conversation produces more blame from them, it’s time to leave.

RELATED: Beware! If Your Man Does These 15 Things, He’s Majorly Insecure

2. Shame

A close, more subtle cousin of blaming, shaming is on the rise these days, especially on social media. However, shaming in a relationship can become toxic.

People can shame you without any action on your part.

They can call you and insinuate you’re even breathing wrong.

Shamers are often co-dependent. They want to tear you down to build themselves up, and they shame you to manipulate you because they’re afraid to lose you if you discover that you’re better than them at something.

What to do if someone is shaming you in a relationship:

Don’t buy into shame, and walk away. The shame game is never a good relationship tool. It means we’re not owning our own stuff. It comes from a place of desperation and fear.

Shame also creates a vicious circle of co-dependency. We become too afraid to leave our partnership, our office, our friendship, while they continue to make us feel less-than so we won’t leave.

Don’t engage, and if the shaming becomes chronic, distance yourself, emotionally and physically, for good.

3. Fame

Often the people who blame and shame us are quite successful because their own self-blame results in perfectionist tendencies. Their external glitter is what attracts us in the first place.

Blamers and shamers don’t want to fail, and their self-esteem is often so low that they can’t admit it.

They may lie, make excuses, and throw their problems at others — all so they can keep these festering feelings of inadequacy a big secret.

They feel like impostors up there on their starlit stage, and they will do anything not to fall off the pedestal we — and probably many others — put them on.

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What to do if someone is using you to boost their own ego:

You may sense the sadness and underlying angst in people who want to blame and shame us.

You may want to help or heal the person because you care. You may make your own excuses for them. You may make suggestions, and they may intermittently reward you with a shower of attentive affection.

They seem to be on the right track, but then they derail, and the arguments (or worse) start again.

Most people that carry around a lot of shame and blame need an empathetic professional counselor and a neutral space to heal.

RELATED: 11 Signs He’s Not In Love — You’re Just Convenient

If you’ve told friend or partner how their actions make you feel, using a statement like, “When you yell at me, I feel disrespected,” and their hurtful actions continue (especially if you begin to feel you’re being manipulated), their low self-esteem is chronic, and they need help you can’t deliver.

If your boss treats you this way, start looking for another job.

If your friend or partner refuses to look in the mirror and stop playing these mind games with you, you need to let go.

A few years from now, your life will be lighter and probably happier, and you’ll be glad you did.

All that will remain in your heart is the love you shared and the self-love and self-respect you’ve regained.

RELATED: If Your Partner Does These 10 Things, You’re Being Manipulated

More for You on YourTango:

Kathryn Ramsperger, MA is an intuitive life coach and award-winning author. If insecurities are causing a struggle in your life and relationships, email her for a free consultation.

Why People Play Mind Games in Dating & Relationships

Mind games are behaviors that lack authenticity, mislead someone else, and are typically used as a strategy. These games are confusing and often manipulative, and they can leave the other person feeling powerless and questioning the relationship and the other person’s intentions.

Healthy relationships require honesty, authenticity, and clear communication, and mind games have none of these. Yet in modern dating culture, some mind games are completely normalized. In fact, not playing a mind game to some extent, instead being honest and direct about interest in another person, can be shamed or seen as desperate. But the truth is, in order to establish real connection, misleading mind games eventually must be abandoned in favor of authenticity. So I am encouraging you to stop playing mind games today, now, whether you’re the one initiating them or the one getting played by them.

Common Mind Games

Playing Hard-to-Get

Playing hard-to-get is common in the early stages of dating, but it can also be used in an already-existing relationship too. This mind game is a way of communicating to the other person that you’re unavailable in order to make them work harder to “get” you. It looks like purposely delaying calling or messaging back, leaving messages on read, saying you’re busy when you’re not, or avoiding initiating future dates or plans together.

Sending Mixed Signals

This hot-and-cold behavior can be extremely confusing for the person on the receiving end. Someone may seem interested, then uninterested or too busy for a relationship, then available again, then they disappear, then they’re interested again… You get it. Just like with playing hard-to-get, this kind of behavior can pressure the other person to try harder or to directly confront the game player for clarification. Though it sounds manipulative, this behavior may also be used by someone who truly doesn’t know what they want in a relationship. Perhaps they can see the good and bad in a relationship or potential partner, so they fluctuate in their actions as they’re unsure how to proceed.

Silent Treatment

You likely already know this mind game: when someone is upset, especially after an explosive fight, they stop talking and give the silent treatment to the other person. This mind game is usually used to try to get the other person to pursue the silent partner even more, and they’re often left trying to guess what is bothering them. Though it is reasonable and even healthy to pause an unproductive argument and stop talking for some time, the silent treatment is different, because it continues the conflict. It is done with the expectation that the other person will beg for them to start talking again and continue pursuing until they do so.

Love Bombing

Love bombing can occur at the start of a relationship or while getting to know each other. This mind game involves one person showering the other with excessive affection and love, but it’s all inauthentic. Love bombing can be used to try to win someone over and make them feel cared for, even when there is no intention of having a committed relationship. This mind game can also, in some cases, be used when someone is interested in someone else, but their feelings stop in infatuation, never progressing to a more sustainable relationship. These people may lack self-awareness and not realize that this love bombing – and their excitement for the other person – will be short-lived.

Breadcrumbing

In breadcrumbing, one person offers very little to the other person, just to keep them around but without having to make any promises or commitments. They may send messages, for example, but never go as far as making real plans to spend time together. These people may enjoy the validation that they feel from talking and flirting, but they don’t want to (or aren’t able to) make any sacrifices or commitments that the other person desires. Instead of communicating this to the other person, they instead just keep offering the bare minimum to keep them hooked.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is an extremely toxic mind game where one person tries to convince the other that they are mentally unstable or crazy. The gaslighter may deny events that happened, or they may project their own actions onto the victim. They are also very likely to use lies to manipulate the other person. The lies may start off small, and when the other person doesn’t believe them, the gaslighter will tell them that they just don’t remember or they weren’t listening. Then, as bigger lies are told, the victim will start to believe the lies to be true, but they just can’t remember or didn’t listen well enough to remember “correctly.” Gaslighters manipulate the other person into trusting them, while also turning them against other people.

Catfishing

Catfishing is a mind game in online dating, where someone misleads someone else about their identity. The catfish may use fake photos, old photos, a fake name, and other false or misleading information in order to attract people. Those people, though, are actually being pulled into a mind game where they believe someone to be one person when, in fact, that’s not an accurate representation of who they really are.

Making Empty Threats

Making threats in order to manipulate or control someone is a toxic mind game, and one common example of this is threatening to break up when you don’t actually have intentions of breaking up. In this case, the person making the threat may actually want to get closer to the other person, or they may want the other person to be more active in the relationship. Out of desperation, they may make this empty threat to break up, then, in order to get the other person’s attention and affection. Though the threat is about ending the relationship, in actuality they may want to re-establish commitment, and they use this mind game to do so.

Reasons for Playing Mind Games

Relationships with mind games are often toxic or filled with conflict. Still, it may help to understand why people play these games in the first place, in order to get down to their true need and find alternative behaviors.

One reason for mind games is a fear of rejection. When someone is afraid of being rejected, they may use mind games to keep themselves protected and in control. Then, if they are rejected, they can use mind games as an emotional buffer. In other words, by being dishonest and holding back (such as with playing hard-to-get or sending mixed signals), they can say that they weren’t really rejected, because the other person didn’t get to see the “real” them anyway. Or, if they were sending mixed signals or breadcrumbing, they can even tell themselves that they rejected the other person instead of being rejected.

Along with being afraid of rejection, using these mind games can also make the player look and feel more powerful, and therefore, they may appear more valuable to others.

Some mind games may also be the result of the player not knowing what they want. This is particularly true for sending mixed signals, where the confusing signals may be a reflection of that person’s actual feelings of confusion and uncertainty about the relationship. If someone is afraid of commitment, but they want attention or validation, they may use mixed signals or breadcrumbing to feel connected but at a distance. This may be the case for some people with an avoidant attachment style.

A desire to manipulate others in order to achieve something can be a reason to turn to using mind games. Some mind games are used in order to hurt or control the other person, and though this behavior is certainly not excusable, this need to hurt or control may come from deeper issues. For example, the game player may feel that the other person will leave them, so they use mind games to manipulate them into staying. They may also be feeling powerless within the relationship, so they start playing mind games in order to gain back power and control.

Toxic masculinity and toxic gender norms can also be one reason why someone might use mind games. This is especially true in hookup culture, where people (especially women) are objectified and seen as an object to be won. In dating cultures where “winning” someone else (whether that be getting their phone number, getting them to swipe right on you, or getting them to have sex with you) is celebrated, manipulative behaviors may be used to lure them in.

Aside from gaining status, people may use mind games to try to “win” someone’s attention or validation because they themselves lack self-esteem. In order to feel worthy and confident, they may use mind games to get someone interested in them, and then pull away once they’ve achieved a feeling of being wanted and validated.

Should You Play Games In a Relationship?

Self-Improvement

Mind games are tactics used to manipulate a person to respond or react in a certain way. Mind games deal with imposing one’s will on the psyche of another person for some desired result. There are many reasons why people play mind games in relationships. Sometimes the person doing it isn’t completely aware of the fact that they are playing mind games. It could be that these mind games become a habit in the interactions they have with their spouse. Thus, both individuals may see that their toxic interactions become the status quo and normality for all of their exchanges. By being aware of why one plays mind games, they will become more conscientious when they are doing it and instead approach their interactions in a much healthier way. The following are a few common reasons why people play mind games:

  • to acquire control
  • to get their desired response
  • to get revenge
  • to absolve one’s own insecurities

Types of Mind Games

The following are just a few types of mind games as well as common examples of how people play mind games within the context of a relationship:

1. Playing Hard to Get

Some people play hard to get because they light to be sought after and love the attention. However, this approach is very disingenuous and will likely turn off your person of interest. In fact, your spouse may feel as though you’ve lost interest in them. Playing hard to get could be done through distancing yourself, not returning calls/text messages, and also being unavailable to that person. Playing hard to get can make the other person feel dismissed, unimportant, invisible, and unappreciated.

2. Projecting

Projection has many faces and can be done through transference. You or your significant other may be projecting your own fears on the other. For example, there are some individuals who have experienced infidelity in their past relationships. One way they believe they can prevent this in their current relationship is to gain access to their spouses’ phone and social media accounts. If their spouse refuses to give them access, the person requesting may feel as though there is a lack of trust their. Thus, they may guilt-trip their partner and assume they are hiding something.

3. Sending Mixed Messages

Passive-aggressive behavior is one way that people send mixed messages. One may send a mixed message because they are not being completely honest with themselves and also not being honest with their partner. Thus, you may find that the other person is speaking vaguely when discussing the direction of the relationship. Instead of being honest and speaking directly, these individuals are afraid of the outcome of their honesty. They may feel they will lose the relationship if they were completely transparent. So, in an attempt to keep the relationship selfishly, they manipulate information and withhold truths. This can also be done when partners administer the silent treatment.

Should You Play Mind Games in a Relationship?

The degree of mental gymnastics one must with mind games is endless. Mind games impose a lot of animosity, trust-issues, insecurities, and distance within a relationship. Playing mind games in a relationship has many negative effects both on the relationship as well as your own mental health. Over time, this manipulation may reach a peak that is unredeemable. If people are experiencing relationship problems and aren’t sure how to communicate those issues effectively, then seeking a counselor is definitely a great option. Sometimes, we need a third opinion and an objective view of our situation. This will give you clarity and insight into your behavior as well as your partner’s behavior. You’ll also find healthy methods of interacting and understanding one another.

Related

Playing mind games in relationships

 

Any interaction with another person has the potential to involve some type of mind game. In fact, many of us are quite good at playing mind games in relationships. The problems start when the mind games are used for dubious purposes. Unscrupulous people want to be in control and many have learned how to push other people’s buttons and pick up on subtle emotional signals in order to manipulate the other. Mind games involve manipulation, twisting the facts and creating doubt to destabilise another person. Here are some examples of mind games in relationships and tips to counteract them:

The more tumultuous someone’s childhood was, the more likely they are to engage in mind games. As a powerless child faced with unfair and unreasonable parents, children learn ways to manipulate the situation in a subtle passive way in order to cope emotionally. Many take these dysfunctional coping mechanisms into their adult relationships.

Twisting the facts

Playing mind games involves twisting the facts of a situation in order to suit the manipulator’s version of events. They will see the situation their way and will generally lack the empathy to understand another person’s point of view. They will ignore feelings and repeat their version of events, effectively voiding any other point of view of a situation. This can be extremely frustrating for the partner who feels misheard and misunderstood.

Deflecting and dismissing

Someone is definitely playing mind games when they dismiss your feelings. They will say something upsetting and when you react, you are told you are “Too sensitive”. A healthy, carting person will not like upsetting someone else and make a point not to do it again. A person playing mind games will make a mental note of that weakness and keep it as a weapon to be used in the future to control and manipulate. Another tactic is when you try to talk to your partner about their behaviour or about something you don;t like that they do. Instead of listening and communicating, a person playing mind games will merely deflect the conversation and your concerns with a reply such as ” Well you did the same thing last week and that’s why I do it”. There is no acceptance of responsibility – somehow their behaviour gets blamed on something you have done.

Creating self doubt in another

“What are you doing that for?”, “Why are you thinking like that?” etc. A mind game player will do their best to shake the foundations of your beliefs and ideas about the world. The more confusion and self doubt, the easier it is to influence you.

Emotional blackmail

“If you truly cared, you wouldn’t do it” is an example of emotional blackmail. You are made to feel you do not care enough and in this way they control your behaviour.

Subtle erosion of confidence

Over time, mind game players ‘groom’ you into doubting yourself and this undermines confidence. They may also throw in comments like, “You are lucky to have me, no one else will love you like I do” or “You on’t find someone else to love you”. Instead of bringing out the best in you, they chip away at your confidence to keep you feeling unworthy. As a result, you will be less likely to leave the relationship.

If you think you are experiencing mind games in your relationship, you probably are. Second guessing yourself is common in relationships where mind games are rife. Learn to recognise the types of mind games and don’t play the game.

Mandy X

Related

I Played “Mind Games” When I Started Dating My Partner | by Kelly Eden

But there are better ways to get what you want

Photo by asier_relampagoestudio @ Freepik.com

I lean against the kitchen bench waiting for the jug to boil and pick up my phone for the fifteenth time that morning. This time I’m rewarded. Ben’s text greets me as I tap the screen.

Thinking of you. Hope you’re having a nice morning xx. I read it twice, excitement rising in my stomach. He’s added kisses. That’s a bit cute.

I start to text back but the “rules of the game” nag at me. Don’t text first; don’t reply instantly. They’re the rules I’ve settled on, but now doubt creeps in. Is it really the right way to approach this new relationship? I freeze, staring at my phone as if Siri might give me the answer.

Biting my lip, I put the phone down without replying and pour my coffee instead.

I always hated games in dating. They’re manipulative, dishonest, and I felt they got in the way of a real connection. Mind games were for players and teases. But I felt lost and needed to do something new.

My past relationship pattern was obvious and not heading me in a great direction: I put in 110%. I was supportive. I was attentive. I predicted their needs…

And I chased after what I wanted. (If I’m honest, I was clingy and desperate sometimes which, as you can imagine, scared off a few nice guys.)

My way of dating hadn’t being working out well for me. More than once I’d ended up alone after two dates, or in unequal relationships where I gave and they took.

When I started seeing Ben, I decided to give something new a go, even if it felt like a game.

And the dating research!

I listened to hours of love and dating podcasts. I listened any spare moment I had — doing dishes, cooking dinner, having a bath…I obsessed over them. They promised love for smart successful women. They promised I’d find “the one” within a year if I followed their techniques. They told me not to settle. One also told me I was being too fussy and needed to settle… it started to get confusing.

One podcast I listened to, suggested “leaning back.”

What? Lean back?

I never leaned back with anything! I’m competitive, driven, and take the initiative — even in dating. But, in a desperate (there’s that word again) search for something new, I clung to “lean back” like a mantra.

I decided letting a guy chase for a change sounded like a healthy thing for me to try. But are dating games ever healthy?

Early dating is the most common time for people to engage in mind games, but it can happen later too.

The main aim of mind games according to the Longman Dictionary is to control the situation: to make the other person behave the way you want them too. Game players want to prompt a stronger emotional pull. They want to make you think about them like crazy. Does she like me or doesn’t she?

You’ve heard of gaslighting and other manipulative games. But most of us don’t intentionally play games to be nasty or controlling. We just want to stop sucking so badly at dating! We want someone nice to stick around for once. We want to fall in love.

The sad truth is mind games are an immature way to get what we want, yes, even small ones like purposefully making someone wait for a reply.

There are better ways to be successful in love. Here are 3 positive approaches to change the way you date:

The game I chose was the embarrassingly old fashioned idea of letting them chase. It’s a common one recommended by “dating experts”. I kept the rules simple. I let him text first always. He texted morning and night every day, but often a few (uncomfortable) hours later than I would’ve.

Then when he did text, I regularly made myself wait for at least 30 minutes before replying, but never too long. The advice you often hear is to make them wait for hours, even days to show you’re too busy and totally not desperate.

Thankfully, even desperate, I couldn’t bring myself to bow to the “treat them mean, keep them keen” cult. Still — I was trying hard to play it cool.

What to do instead of playing:

No-one wants to look clingy and desperate. It is a huge turn off for most people. We all know that. But if you’re trying hard to appear disinterested while sitting around waiting for their call — it’s a game.

Go out with your friends. Volunteer. Take up a hobby. Start a course, and actually finish it for once! Find something you love — writing, art, swimming — and pursue it.

To not look desperate, stop being desperate. I didn’t want to appear clingy or like I’d be waiting around all day – when in truth, that’s exactly what I was doing. Instead I could’ve turned off my phone for a few hours and genuinely been busy.

Instead of pretending, get busy doing what you love. It will make you 100x more interesting too!

One of the reasons we play games is because we haven’t learnt what a healthy relationship looks like yet.

I’d noticed a bad relationship pattern and knew I wanted something different, but what? I was so used to doing relationships one way. But that way was out of balance. I was doing far more than my share of the “relationship work”.

I didn’t know how healthy relationships operated, so I resorted to bad dating advice.

What to do instead when you notice a pattern:

If you find a negative pattern in your relationships, make it your goal to understand why.

For me, I put in 110% because I needed to feel needed. When I read up on relationships, I started to recognize myself. I nodded along to articles on White Knight Syndrome, rescuing, and codependent relationships. I recognized issues around the fear of abandonment and insecurity.

Have you found yourself nodding along to an article or podcast — “Yes! That’s just like me!” What do you need to learn about and heal from? What’s holding you back from a mature, loving relationship?

Dig deep and do some research.

Get therapy if it’s helpful (it often is). Heal the reason for the negative patterns and you won’t need to play games anymore.

Last week, a woman in one of my Facebook groups posted a comment before she headed off on a date. She was super nervous because her Tinder match was good-looking and she felt intimidated.

Her comments went along the lines of: “He’s so cute. I hope he likes me. His looks are really freaking me out!”

She posted his photo, and I know it’s all subjective, but he wasn’t any kind of swim suit model. He just looked like an average guy. She’d gotten herself into the “He’s too good for me” mindset before they’d even met!

In many ways, she was setting herself up to enter the game zone. If you think they’re too good for you, insecurity can lead to game playing — or being played! Either way, it’s not great for the future of your relationship.

What to do instead:

First, remember this simple rule of dating — the right person isn’t every person.

Most people you meet won’t be the right one for you. Dating isn’t about whether they like you or not. It’s not about trying to catch someone and keep them on the hook as long as you can, either.

Dating is about discovering how compatible you both are with each other. How much chemistry there is. If you have similar values. If you’re a good match — both of you.

They might be hot, but you’re a catch too! The right person will feel lucky to have you. You won’t need to play games to keep them around. Have some confidence in yourself!

Know what your strengths are. If you’re low in confidence, like I was after divorce, build it up with things that make you feel great about yourself. I started rock climbing, strength training at the gym, going out with friends, and volunteering in a disaster and rescue team.

Confidence is attractive without games!

90,000 Twelve business team building games your team will love

Again idiotic team building!” – you hear from a disgruntled employee. Well well. If these thoughts occur to your colleagues, there will be no benefit from team building.

Teambuilding and business games should not only teach useful skills, but also be fun. They help team members get to know each other better – who thinks, works, solves problems and has fun.

We’ve compiled a list of 12 business games for team building that will not make your employees unhappy – on the contrary, they make you want to play them over and over again:

Fast business games

1. Game of possibilities

Time: 5-6 minutes
Number of participants: one or more small groups
Inventory: any items
Rules: is a great five-minute business game.Give one player from each group a random item. The players take turns coming forward and showing the group how this item can be used. The rest of the participants must guess what the player is showing. Show should be silent. Use cases should be as non-standard as possible.

Goal: This game is creative and teaches creative thinking.

2. Pros and Cons

Time: 5-6 minutes
Number of participants: two or more
Inventory: not needed
Rules: Player A tells Player B some unpleasant episode from his past (from his personal life or from work ).This must be an event that actually happened. Player A then talks about the event again, but only talks about its positive aspects. Player B helps you find the positive side of an unpleasant situation. After that, the players switch roles.

Target: Participants learn together to rethink negative experiences and learn from them valuable lessons.

3. Mixing targets

Time: 1-2 minutes
Number of participants: any
Inventory: not needed
Rules: An excellent team office game that will not take much time.Before holding a meeting, ask each participant in the game to walk around their colleagues and tell what they are going to share in the meeting to as many people as possible. If you want, you can assign a prize to the player who shares his plans with as many people as possible, and to the one who successfully communicates what he told his colleagues about before the meeting.

Goal: This type of team building increases the efficiency of meetings and forces participants to think in advance about what they are going to say rather than what they want to hear.

Outdoor business games

4. Treasure Hunt

Time: 1 hour or more
Number of participants: two or more small groups
Inventory: pen and paper
Rules: Divide the team into groups of two or more. Make a list of different wacky assignments for each group. For example, taking a selfie with a stranger, taking a picture of a building or object near the office, etc.n. Give each group a list and do not forget to assign a deadline by which they must complete all tasks. The winner is the group that will complete the tasks faster than anyone else. (If you like, you can create your own scoring system according to the difficulty of the tasks.)

Goal: is a great exercise for developing team spirit. It will help temporarily break up familiar companies and encourage collaboration with colleagues from other teams and departments. You will notice that it becomes easier to manage the project team after that.

* Fun Fact: in Wrike we played a treasure hunt using our own task tracking tool.

5. Ball

Time: 15-30 minutes
Number of participants: 8-20 people
Inventory: not needed
Rules: Place all participants in a circle shoulder to shoulder and face in the center of the circle. Ask everyone to reach out with their right hand and take the hand of someone opposite.Then ask them to reach out with their left hand and take the hand of another random person. Within a certain time, the team must unravel this tangle without unclenching its hands. If the group is too large, organize a few smaller laps and invite them to compete with each other for speed.

Goal: Communication and teamwork skills are essential to being successful in this game. And after it the participants will have something to discuss at their leisure.

6. Perfect square

Time: 15-30 minutes
Number of participants: 5-20 people
Inventory: a long piece of rope tied at the ends and a blindfold for each participant
Rules: put employees in a circle and give them in the hands of the rope.Ask everyone to blindfold themselves and place the rope on the floor. Then ask everyone to move a short distance away from the rope. Next, ask to return to the rope again and try to lay it in an even square, without removing the blindfold from the eyes. To make the game more interesting, limit the duration of the task. To complicate matters, ask some team members not to speak.

Objective: This game helps improve communication and leadership skills. By asking some team members to remain silent throughout the game, you train trust, allowing team members to lead each other in the right direction.

Did you like this article? Do we have many of them? Sign up for our newsletter to receive daily tips on how to improve efficiency and strengthen collaboration.

7. Minefield

Time: 15-30 minutes
Number of participants: 4-10 people (even number)
Inventory: various small objects, several blindfolds
Rules: Find an open space (for example, an empty parking lot or a park).Place the objects you brought with you (cones, balls, bottles, etc.) randomly on the ground. Divide the participants into pairs and ask one player from each pair to blindfold themselves. The second player must lead his partner from one end of the “minefield” to the other so as not to hit a single mine, using only verbal instructions. A participant with a blindfold must not speak a word. To complicate the task, determine the routes that the blindfolded participant should follow.

Goal: This game is designed to train trust, communication and listening skills. You can play it perfectly on the beach.

8. Eggpad

Time: 1-2 hours
Number of participants: two or more small groups
Inventory: various office items
Rules: Divide the team into groups of 3-5 people and give each group one raw egg. Put all the items brought together.Give the participants 15-30 minutes to assemble the protective packaging from the available items to prevent the egg from breaking if dropped. You can take, for example, such items: scotch tape, pencils, straws, plastic cutlery, packaging material, newspapers, rubber bands. When the time is up, drop the eggs in the team-made protective packaging from the second or third floor – check which one survives this Iapocalypse.

Target: is a classic fun (and not the most accurate) team game.Unites group members using teamwork and problem solving skills. The more people participate in this egg mess, the more interesting! And don’t forget to stock up on some eggs in case some of them break while creating the package.

Relationship Building Games

9. Puzzle barter

Time: 1-2 hours
Number of participants: four small groups or more
Inventory: one puzzle for each group
Rules: ask participants to split into small groups with an equal number of players.Give each group one puzzle of the same difficulty. The goal is to complete the puzzle faster than the rest of the groups. But! Some of the pieces of each puzzle are in the other group. And each group must decide how to get them – by negotiation, trade, exchange of team members, etc. Whatever the participants decide, the decision must be made together.

Goal: This game trains problem solving and leadership skills. Some players are more active, others remain on the sidelines, but it is important to remember that every decision of the group must be coordinated with all its members.

10. Believe – I don’t believe

Time: 10-15 minutes
Number of participants: five or more people
Inventory: not needed
Rules: ask participants to sit in a circle facing each other. Everyone should remember three true facts about themselves and come up with one false one. The lie must look true. Then ask them to take turns telling three true and one false facts in no particular order, without saying which one is wrong.After the story of one participant, the others must guess which of the facts is false.

Goal: An excellent networking game, especially for newly formed teams. It helps you avoid jumping to conclusions about your coworkers and gives introverts the opportunity to share a few things about themselves.

11. Drawing blind

Time: 10-15 minutes
Number of participants: two or more
Inventory: picture, pen and paper
Rules: Divide the participants into groups of two.Seat the groups so that the participants sit with their backs to each other. Give one group member a pen and paper and the other a picture. The participant holding the picture must describe it to his partner, without directly saying what is shown there. For example, if the picture shows a worm in an apple, do not say, “Draw an apple with a worm.” A person with a paper and a pen should draw what, in his opinion, is shown in the picture according to the description of the partner. Set the game time: 10-15 minutes.

Goal: This game trains communication skills and teaches you to interpret information.When the drawing is ready, it is always interesting to see how the drawer understood his partner’s descriptions.

12. Which is better?

Time: 15-20 minutes
Number of participants: any
Inventory: four or more items
Rules: Select four or more different items (or identical items that look different). Divide the participants into groups with an equal number of people. Think of a situation in which each group should solve a problem using only the items they have.It can be anything from “you are stranded on a desert island” to “you need to save the world from Godzilla.” Ask each group to rank the items according to their usefulness in each specific situation and explain their choices.

Objective: This game stimulates the imagination when solving problems. It is important not to come up with too simple situations, otherwise it will be obvious which items will be more useful than others.

Do you have some business games in stock that aren’t on this list? Let us know in the comments!

And, of course, a great way to improve project team management is to use convenient software for collaboration.The Wrike project management system helps teams easily share documents and project news, coordinate their efforts and report on the work done.

90,000 Intellectual games, theater, hike and much more for the wards of CSRIiDI

At the Center for Social Rehabilitation of Disabled and Disabled Children in Petrogradskiy District, the academic year began with new events. In September, the wards of the Center have already managed to take part in an intellectual game, visit a theater, play chess and even go on a hike.

Intellectual game “Guess who?”, Dedicated to the Day of Knowledge, was held on September 1. The participants of the event, divided into teams, guessed from children’s photographs of people known both in Russia and in other countries. Among them were actors, singers, athletes, politicians, astronauts. In addition, the players of each team competed in the ability to describe various objects without words, to find the correct answer to the questions of an entertaining quiz. The game was played amicably and cheerfully, both teams showed excellent results, but as always, friendship won.

Young wards visited the theater “Litsedei”. With the support of the Chairman of the Legislative Assembly of St. Petersburg V.S. Makarov Theater organized a holiday dedicated to the new academic year. Famous clowns of the Litsedei theater, Leonid Leikin, Anvar Libabov, Viktor Solovyov, Anna Orlova, Alexander Skvortsov, as well as Young Litsedei students of the Theater Academy, entertained the children and adults in a theatrical performance called “Children’s Ride”. The performance is a set of mischievous, dynamic and careless numbers that are understandable for children of any age.Despite the fact that the show consisted of numbers for children, this did not prevent the parents from laughing until they fell and getting a lot of positive emotions, because during the performance all the adults sitting in the hall involuntarily turned into children. The spectators themselves also had a chance to play their part in the performance – the artists went out into the hall and talked with young spectators.

A meeting with the master of sports in chess at the IPC Energia was held for chess fans. Each participant of the event had the opportunity to get several lessons in this difficult, but very useful and exciting game.After that, the chess players had a chance to apply their knowledge in practice by taking part in a small chess tournament. Observing the game of the master, the participants of the meeting not only acquired useful, and for some new knowledge and skills, but also enjoyed the very process of playing and communicating.

Also, specialists of the adaptive physical culture department of the Center organized a one-day tourist trip to the village of Petyajärvi, Leningrad Region. The tourist group consisted of 10 people.This tourist trip was organized with the aim of socializing the group members, conducting classes on adaptive physical culture and adaptive sports. These activities included such necessary skills as the independent purchase of tickets for the desired train, the ability to listen to instructions on the rules of behavior in public transport and follow it on the way, observe the rules of hygiene during the trip; skills of making tea, sandwiches and table setting in nature. The participants of the hike acquired useful skills necessary for orienteering.The event turned out to be sporty, dynamic and interesting!

The Intellectual and Rehabilitation Festival of the Chelyabinsk Regional Organization of the All-Russian Society of the Blind was held in Chelyabinsk

Within the framework of the socially significant project “Play activities as a means of social rehabilitation and integration in the society of the visually impaired”, which has been implemented since November 2018 at the expense of the President’s grant, and the project “Development of modern rehabilitation practices for visually impaired people through intellectual and board games”, received in 2019 from the Ministry of Social Relations of the Chelyabinsk region, a series of intellectual activities for the visually impaired was held.On November 6-7, 2019, the Intellectual and Rehabilitation Festival of the Chelyabinsk Regional Organization of VOS was held in Chelyabinsk, in which 70 people from all over the region took part.

As at the zonal games, tournaments in the sports version of the game “What? Where? When?” and “Brain-Ring”, as well as the game “Intellectual Kaleidoscope” were conducted Alexander Gubin , head of the Chelyabinsk regional youth public organization League of Intellectual Games, Stanislav Lysov – project manager, and their assistants.

Participants and organizers were glad to see already familiar teams from the first game: the Evushki team from Kusa (Zlatoust local VOS organization), Lyuboznayki team (Verkhneufaley local VOS organization), Stimul team from Ozersk, Meteorite team ( Chebarkul local organization), teams “VOS”, “Komsomol” and “In spite of everything” (Chelyabinsk local organization VOS).

Note that these teams are already experienced, they are not playing for the first time, they trained steadily under the strict guidance of Kristina Pimenova on the basis of the Chelyabinsk Regional Special Library for the visually impaired and the blind.The teams showed a good intellectual level and training. It was difficult, because in two days the participant had to play three different intellectual games, similar to each other only in that all the time you need to think, remember, reason logically, and in most cases just know the answers to the questions posed. But everyone did an excellent job of this task.

“We fell in love with this game from the previous seminars and master-classes, it became our own, – said the members of the VOS team from the city.Chelyabinsk. – It was nice to see familiar rivals. We played with pleasure, the discussion of issues in the team took place without unnecessary excitement. The next game of the first day was the game “Intellectual Kaleidoscope”. With each stage, there was interest and excitement of waiting, who will score more points. Each player showed his ability to answer questions correctly and quickly, contributing the earned points to the team’s piggy bank. The last round of the game, where it was necessary to place a bet, before the question was asked, added adrenaline to the blood.Calculating the rate correctly was not easy, but we did it. We liked the game very much for its variety of rounds, and the individual play of each participant. The third game of the festival on the second day was the “Brain Ring” game. We have known this game for a long time, it is interesting, but it requires speed of action. It seemed that the questions were not difficult, but this time we were let down by haste, rushed to press the button ahead of time, and as a result did not make it to the final. ”

The captain of the “Evushki” team Olga Grigorieva , says: “We swayed for a long time in the first round of the game“ What, where, when? ”, Then we got together and took the third place in the tournament.The team included representatives from Kusa, Kopeisk and Chelyabinsk. They did not play for long. They were second in the Intellectual Kaleidoscope, but made a risky bet and ended the game there. The defeat was taken with humor. The game is the game. The main thing is that it brings pleasure, no matter what. ”

The Meteorite team became the winner in all tournaments and in the overall standings. In addition to the Chebarkulites, the team also brought together players from various municipalities of the region. The credit for the formation of such a strong lineup belongs to the captain Alexei Lavrov .He believes that the whole series of intellectual and rehabilitation activities has brought a new impetus to the development of the creative abilities of the visually impaired in the entire region. “Our team is very happy with the result and the process of the game. We hope to go to St. Petersburg in 2020 and adequately represent the Chelyabinsk region at the VOS intellectual and rehabilitation festival “, – added Alexey Lavrov.

Prizes were distributed as follows:

– in the sports version of the game “What? Where? When?”

Diploma of the 1st degree – “Meteorite”, Chebarkulskaya MO

Diploma of the 2nd degree – “VOS” Chelyabinsk MO

3rd degree diploma – “Evushki” Zlatoust MO

– in the game “Intellectual Kaleidoscope”

Diploma of the 1st degree – “Meteorite”, Chebarkulskaya MO

Diploma of the 2nd degree – “VOS” Chelyabinsk MO

3rd Degree Diploma – “Luboznayki” Verkhneufaleiskaya MO

– in the sports version of the game “What? Where? WhenBrain-Ring “

Diploma of the 1st degree – “Meteorite”, Chebarkulskaya MO

Diploma of the 2nd degree – “Lyuboznayki” Verkhneufaleiskaya MO

3rd degree diploma – “No matter what” Chelyabinsk Region

– overall (for all three games)

Diploma of the 1st degree – “Meteorite”, Chebarkul region

Diploma of the 2nd degree – “VOS” Chelyabinsk MO

3rd Degree Diploma – “Lyuboznayki” Verkhneufaleiskaya MO

90,000 South Urals residents with visual impairments fought in intellectual games

The second zonal competition in intellectual games “What? Where? When?” and “Brain-Ring” among the people of South Urals with vision impairments.

The events were organized within the framework of the socially significant project “Play activities as a means of social rehabilitation and integration in the society of visually impaired people”, which has been implemented since November 2018 at the expense of the President’s grant, and the project “Development of modern rehabilitation practices for visually impaired people through intellectual and board games ”, realized with the funds of a subsidy won in a competitive selection for the implementation of socially significant programs of the Ministry of Social Relations of the Chelyabinsk Region.

115 people took part in the tournaments as part of teams from Asha, Verkhny Ufaley, Ozersk, Zlatoust, Kusa, Miass, Chebarkul and Chelyabinsk.

Before the start of the tournament, Oleg Varganov, chairman of the Zlatoust organization of the VOS, expressed his joy for the opportunity to hold such an event on his territory. As well as the first tournament “What? Where? When? ”, The“ Brain Ring ”tournament was held by: Alexander Gubin , Head of the Chelyabinsk Regional Youth Public Organization League of Intellectual Games, Elizaveta Alaverdyan , Deputy Chairman of the Board, Stanislav Lysov , Project Manager and Vyacheslav Musikhin , game technician, station wagon.

After a short warm-up, which consisted of 15 questions from the tournament “What? Where? When ”, the teams were divided and went to two playgrounds.

13 teams took part in the games, nine of which were newcomers – the team “Atomic Clever Men 1” from Ozersk (captain – Irina Krotova ), the team “Komsomol” from Chelyabinsk (captain – Marina Bormatova ), the team “Carps KOI “From the Kurchatov organization of the VOI of Chelyabinsk (captain – Svetlana Zubenko ), the” Reflection “team from the Miass organization of the VOS (captain – Alexey Startsev ), the” Stars of Asha “team (captain – Sofya Guseva ), the” Meteorite “team from Chebarkul (captain – Tamara Vikhnevskaya ), two teams from Zlatoust: the Melnikov and Company team (captain – Sergey Melnikov ), the Zlatko team (captain – Marina Sozonova ) and the CHIPI team from Chelyabinsk (captain – Tamara Erler ).

According to the results of the second zonal competition of intellectual games in Zlatoust, the CHIPI team from Chelyabinsk became the winner. The diploma was solemnly presented to them by Alexander Gubin and expressed his hope for the team’s participation in the regional intellectual festival, which will be held in November 2019.

Like after the first tournament, the organizers received a lot of feedback.

“Chelyabinsk intellectuals came to play and gain new knowledge – this is the full name of the CHIPI team and its motto.We got great pleasure from the process of the game and, unexpectedly for ourselves, won. The opponents fought with dignity, but we had a powerful ally luck. I think that intellectual games can attract a youth audience ”, – noted Tamara Erler .

“It was interesting for me to play with people with disabilities from other cities, to see the intellectual level of our region. The game was conducted at a high level. Well done leading, prepared, the questions were interesting, not to say very difficult, but required certain knowledge.I think that some of the questions in the quarterfinals were more difficult than in the final, – said Stepan Frolov MMM team captain. – We did not have enough luck to win and, of course, there were such mistakes as, for example, playing the button without knowing the answer, we had to come up with some version on the go. Better it was necessary to think about 10 seconds, and the answer would appear. It was clearly seen that all Chelyabinsk teams were prepared and played at a decent level. Recommendations for the sound of the “brain” of the system, to make a different signal of pressing the buttons, so that any blind person can understand who first pressed the button. “

“We did not immediately join the marathon of intellectual games, because the unknown was frightening; We were afraid of difficult questions and lack of knowledge, but the tasks turned out to be feasible for the team. The unpredictability of the results attracts, the intrigue persists until the last moment, everything is decided before the eyes of the players. Each team has a chance to win. We thank the organizers and partners. We will train, play and fight for victory ”, – says Victoria Kurdyukova , chairman of the Miass local organization VOS .

Note that the zonal training games are over, ahead of the training of teams on the ground, consultations and preparation of questionnaire packages, and in November, one of the main events is the regional intellectual festival, timed to coincide with the 85th anniversary of the Chelyabinsk regional organization of VOS.

Festival “Wise Owl” and round table “Intellectual games and preparation of students for the Unified State Exam”

On Wednesday, December 14, in the ceremonial hall of the Academy of Talents, an open city festival “Wise Owl” on the game What? Where? When? for students in grades 10-11.

The central themes of the festival were “The Year of Cinema. Newsreels” I Want to Know Everything “and” Science and Technology “.

The organizers were the IMTs of the Petrogradskiy region and the Academy of Talents. The festival was attended by 21 school teams from 12 districts of the city. Oleksandr Druz, master of the game What? Where? When ?, and representatives of education, film and television.

Within the framework of the festival for teachers-leaders of school teams, Deputy Director of the IMC of the Petrograd region V.S. held a city seminar in the form of a round table on the topic “Mind games and preparing students for the exam”.

School teachers of the city presented the following interesting performances:

Klimovich Irina Evgenievna – “Popularization of the game“ What? Where? When?” by organizing a school tournament ”.

Zhuravkina Natalya Aleksandrovna – “Intellectual game as one of the forms of a repetitive-generalizing lesson”.

Proskurina Marina Viktorovna – “The value of intellectual games in adolescence”.

Gorodova Nina Yurievna – “Mind games as the most important component of the activity of the class teacher of senior classes”.

Semyonova Natalya Gennadievna – “The use of intellectual games to enhance the cognitive activity of students”

Kirillova Irina Vladimirovna – “Using intellectual games to prepare for the exam in the Russian language”

Loskutnikova Olga Petrovna – “Ladder of success” (To success in the exam through intellectual games)

Kozlova Lyudmila Isaakovna and Nikulina Ekaterina Viktorovna – “Using intellectual games during subject weeks”

Ivanova Natalya Yurievna – “Computer design of intellectual games in preparation for the Unified State Exam and OGE”.

The result of the discussion of the role of intellectual games in education was the wish of teachers to create a league of teachers-leaders of school teams for intellectual games.

IMC Petrogradskiy district is ready to become the coordinator of this movement in St. Petersburg.

The results of the game of the teams of schoolchildren can be viewed in the “Wise Owl” group on VKontakte: https://m.vk.com/event107

90,000 The intellectual project “RosQuiz” will offer participants the most meaningful quizzes from all over the country

The first, regional, stage of the games opened new prospects for the development of the project, said the federal coordinator of RosKviz, State Duma deputy Maxim Suraev (United Russia).“Our regional headquarters have established new partnerships with local educational institutions and organizations involved in the preservation of cultural and historical heritage. This made it possible to create high-quality and interesting question packages dedicated to the topics of the regions. Thanks to this partnership, in a number of constituent entities of the Russian Federation, games were held on the territory of historical and local history museums and were accompanied by sightseeing tours and visits to exhibitions. Of course, such an organization makes the game even more interesting, ”said the parliamentarian.

14 regions of Russia have developed their quizzes, more than a thousand people in total have become participants in intellectual games. The most interesting issues of the regional stage were included in the already launched federal stage of RosKviz, timed to coincide with the celebration of Russia’s youngest state holiday – National Unity Day.

“Due to the tense epidemiological situation, we recommend playing games online and remotely. In addition, we plan to post on our website the most, in our opinion, regional packages of questions during the week, where anyone can answer them without leaving home.This will help organize the intellectual leisure of students and schoolchildren who are now on distance learning. After the situation has improved, we will definitely return to the face-to-face format, ”said Maxim Suraev.

“RosQuiz” is a project of the supporters of the “United Russia” party, within the framework of which intellectual competitions are regularly held – quiz – timed to public holidays and memorable dates in Russia and the regions. Quiz is an intellectual team game that includes competitions for logic, intelligence and ingenuity.Its goal is to popularize culturally meaningful, intellectually enriched leisure.

90,000 VTsIOM. News: Intellect playing

July 20, 2021 The All-Russian Public Opinion Research Center presents data from a survey of Russians about intellectual games.

Russians named the intellectual games they know. Chess and checkers were in the top 5 (25%, 90,018 36% among men, 38–41% among young people, 38% among active Internet consumers), quiz “What? Where? When?” (17%, 90,018 22% among 34-44-year-olds, 21% each among active viewers and residents of the Central Federal District and citizens in a good financial situation), 90,017 card games (for example, fool, poker, preference, 7%, 12% each among 18-24 year olds, residents of the Northwestern and Far Eastern Federal Districts, 10% among men), as well as the quiz “Own Game” and backgammon (6% each).

39% of Russians surveyed play intellectual games, while 5% play them almost daily, 10% play several times a week, 9% – several times a month, and 15% only occasionally ; 61% of the respondents answered that they do not play intellectual games. Young people play intellectual games more often than others (60–61%), 56% of active Internet users, 53% of residents of Moscow and St. Petersburg.

Among those who play mind games, 43% meet in person, 14% play remotely, and 33% play alone or against a computer opponent. Those who meet in person for games prefer chess (28%, 52% among 45–59 year olds, 41% among men), checkers (10%, 14% among 35–44 year olds, 12% among women), cards (8%), monopoly (5%, 8% among young people) and backgammon (5%, 8% among men).

Distance players prefer chess (31%), 12% play cards, 6% play backgammon, also 6% answered that they are playing online, but did not specify what; 3% each named such games as “Counter-Strike”, the game of the fool and poker.

Those who play intellectual games alone or against a computer opponent prefer chess (20%, 29% among men), crosswords (6%, 9% among women), Sudoku (5%, 11% among citizens 60 years and older), checkers ( 5%, 12% 25-34 year olds, 8% among men) and solitaire (4%, 7% among citizens 60 years and older).

Those who do not play intellectual games, first of all, explained this by the lack of time (48%), other interests (26%) , unsuitable age (5%), as well as the fact that they do not want to play or do not have a company for games (4% each).

Russians would like to teach their children and grandchildren to play checkers and chess (25%), “What? Where? When?” (3%), backgammon, card and educational games (2% each).

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