Baby advice for new parents for shower: Amazing Advice For First Time Parents From Experienced Moms and Dads — Holistically Loved


Amazing Advice For First Time Parents From Experienced Moms and Dads — Holistically Loved

Remember to take some photos with all three of you in them every once in awhile.

To cherish every single moment no matter what.  They get big so fast, I remember people telling me that, now 3 children later, oldest 13, I miss those little toes and my sleepless nights, embrace it!

You will get frustrated at your spouse/partner but realize you are in it together and just breathe deep and work through the sleepless nights, blowouts, etc as a team!

*****don’t rely on anybody else’s advice… what may be “right” for their family may not work for you and yours***

Keep laughing!  A positive attitude is everything.  And remember that this, too, shall pass whatever it is you are dealing with.

Listen to your intuition. If someone suggests doing something that just doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

Do the normal things you do around your home for example if the baby is sleeping make noise!!!!!

Sleep now, for it’s going to be a thing of the past!

Do what works for Mom and baby…don’t sweat the small stuff

Soak in every second of those first few days and weeks, they grow so fast, especially in the first few weeks.

If you can’t breastfeed, don’t put yourself down.

Always enjoy your child.  They grow up very fast.

Every baby is different, one thing that might work for one baby may not work for yours.  The first 6 weeks you will feel out of it with lack of sleep and recovery.  You will have a bunch of emotions that you could ever know what to do.  Your hormones go crazy.  But push through them.  Breathe. Learn to take quick showers and sleep when baby sleeps, even though you rather watch them sleep.  Have patience and hold baby often.  Everyone tells you all the good things about the baby and postpartum.  Dont worry if things dont feel like rainbows & butterflies.  This too shall pass. Most important take lots and lots of pictures — include yourself.  Make memories, they grow so fast.  Enjoy the good, bad, and ugly moments!  You know your baby best!  Be their advocate. Dont explain your motherly decisions to ANYONE.  Not their child, not their business.

No matter what needs to be done, sleep while the baby’s sleeping!  It’s crucial to your sanity! Leave the laundry & whatever else.  I didn’t listen @ first & that was a huge mistake!  She’s 16 months & I sleep when she sleeps still to this day!  Congrats!

Put the camera down.  Be present in the moment, not behind a lense.

To father to be; try to help your wife as much as possible because she’ll be a real mess in her first days of sleepless nights.

Take tons of pictures and videos of the baby doing nothing.  You’ll be glad you did.

Bask in the bliss!  Even sleepless nights can be blissful ( when you look at your baby, you’ll know what I mean).

Take more pictures when he/she is a newborn!  Also buy a yoga ball works wonders when you can’t get baby to sleep

You can’t do everything, so focus on the important stuff and let the rest go.  When someone offers to help, take it.  Let them clean your house, do your dishes/laundry, bring you a meal.  We’ve forgotten the village mentality as a society, but this is a wonderful time to take advantage of it!

Try not to take score between you and your husband, you will always have a higher score!  And keeping score will only hurt your marriage. 

Everything washes off with soap and water.

Take it all in- the good the bad and the insane moments you never think will and.  They will… And things change, fast.  Document as much as you can!

Eat only pure natural food.

Advice for New Parents – Happiest Baby

Advice for New Parents

Plenty of folks offer new parents nitty-gritty baby tips for getting the job done. I’ve written some myself and trust me—you’ll need ‘em! But here’s something different…tips to help you thrive, grow and truly enjoy your journey as a new-parent-to-be.

Trust yourself.

Some first-time parents get emotional whiplash flipping between feeling like you’ve got the job nailed…and like an inept rookie. But, you know what? You are the newest, shiniest link in an unbroken chain of successful parents that stretches back to the beginning of time! Believe me, things get much stickier later on (fears, unfair friends, teen traumas, etc.). But for now, you will be a total success if you just keep to the basics: love, touch, singing, milk and patience.

Be kind…to yourself.

If you’re like many first-time parents, you’ve barely ever touched a newborn—before you had your own—yet you think you should automatically be a baby care expert. Please, ask that “judge” in your head to take a hike. Be as supportive to yourself as you would be to your best friend. That’s a sure path to greater satisfaction and happiness, and some of the best advice for new parents.

Get as much sleep as possible (maybe my best advice for new parents).

If parenting is a big balloon of joy, exhaustion is the pin that pops it! Your sleep success can make or break a mood. After 30 years in pediatric practice, I have seen over and over again how sleep deprivation can reduce a mom or dad to tears. It makes you feel alone, incompetent, edgy and causes serious accidents and sickness. The 5 S’s are a simple tool to help boost baby sleep…and so is SNOO, our smart sleeper; the safest, most effective baby bed ever made! (OK, I may be a little biased, but…really it is!)

Accept all the help you can get as a new parent.

Never before in history have moms and dads been expected to care for their newborns…all alone. We always had moms, aunts and older sisters living with us to help out. And when both parents work, they’re even more pressed. So, my advice for new parents? Don’t hesitate to ask or pay for help. You need…and deserve it. Lean on your friends and family, look into SNOO, or hire some help. You’ll get more sleep and enjoy your beautiful growing family more fully.

Be flexible as you get used to being a new parent.

You will naturally find that some parenting philosophies make more sense to you than others, but if I were to make a bumper sticker for parents, it would say “Be flexible…or die!” It is great to have ideas and plans, but our children are here to challenge all of our preconceived expectations. Another quote I love is from a man in the 1600’s, “Before I had children I had 6 theories on how to raise them. Now I have 6 children and no theories!” Stay flexible especially when things aren’t going as planned. You may be surprised how “just rolling with it” can keep your good mood going.

Don’t lose your sense of humor when you become a first-time parent.

Remember, perfection is found only in the dictionary. So, forget dignity, forget organization, be gentle with yourself and…laugh, laugh, laugh! Laughter raises your spirits, lowers your stress and is exactly what this doctor orders!

Take care of each other. And do some fun stuff!

Caring for your baby is only half your job; the other is giving your main squeeze some TLC. Step out for dinner or a walk when a family member comes to visit. Find time to cook together, cuddle on the couch and maybe even…wait for it…you know! [Read More: Sex After Birth]

Live. Life.

It’s become almost as annoying to be told “the time goes so fast” as it is to hear “sleep when the baby sleeps.” But it’s true! If your head’s caught in the past or the future, you will miss the miracle that is your baby’s first year of life. Hold her close and feel her heartbeat. Lose yourself in her smile. Be truly present when she says dada or mama for the first time. There are few, if any, happier moments in life. Enjoy and thrive!

Final Words of Advice for New Parents

Those are some of my best tips for new parents that I’ve been doling out for decades. Above all, remember that if you’re doing your best first-time parent, you’re doing a great job. And if you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Some resources you might consider: If your newborn isn’t sleeping, check out my Newborn Sleep Tips and Habits. If you’re having trouble with your own mental health, don’t hesitate to use one of these Mental Health Resources for New Parents. You’ve got this!

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Disclaimer: The information on our site is NOT medical advice for any specific person or condition. It is only meant as general information. If you have any medical questions and concerns about your child or yourself, please contact your health provider.

The Best Advice for New Moms, According to the Pros

There’s no shortage of advice available to new moms. Between best-selling parenting books, well-meaning family and friends, and even strangers on the street, there’s plenty of advice to consider. Just sifting through the sheer amount of information that comes your way can be a daunting task—how do you know whose advice to take and whose to (respectfully) disregard?

Because we’re of the mindset that honest parenting advice from real moms is one of the best resources out there, we asked the smart, insightful mothers and experts in the area of parenting to share their words of wisdom. Their comments had us nodding in agreement, laughing out loud, and looking for a pen and paper to jot down notes.

So, without further ado, here are six real moms on navigating the early stages of motherhood, listening to your instincts, and figuring it out as you go.

Do Less

“Most mamas in today’s culture think they are supposed to be busy doing so much for their children…What babies need more than anything is a present and self-aware mama who is gentle with herself and grounded,” says Dr. Colleen Crowley, Ph.D., M.A., LMFT, a mother, child psychologist, and co-founder of Brushies. “This grounded presence is what helps wire a baby’s brain for the rest of their life,” she adds.

What babies need more than anything is a present and self-aware mama who is gentle with herself and grounded.

Sometimes It Really Is Just a Phase

“This is for real, so say it to yourself over and over and over. They won’t go to college with a soother. They will stop waking up three times a night. They will eat with a fork. So take it for what it is and don’t try and rush your littles ones through any age or stage; you’ll look back and wish you hadn’t,” Jen Kelly and Becca Perren, mothers and founders of Pehr advise.

See Your Body as Your New Superpower

“There is so much pressure to ‘bounce back’ post-baby,” new first-time mom and co-founder of Tone It Up, Katrina Scott tells MyDomaine. “Our bodies are not the same as they were pre-baby—and they shouldn’t be. They are stronger,” she explains. “I want every mom to know that you are a superwoman. You created a miracle and your body is remarkable. Let’s all treat ourselves with more love, patience, and compassion.”

Our bodies are not the same as they were pre-baby—and they shouldn’t be.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

“If your child falls over for the first time it’s probably likely you do not need to visit the emergency room,” says Jen Auerbach, mother, and co-founder of Clary Collection.

Try Disconnecting Nursing from Sleeping

“This will help immensely in getting a baby to sleep without milk,” explains Dr. Hilary Fritsch, DMD, a mom, family dentist, and co-founder of Brushies. “My favorite routine is a bath, cuddle, milk, book, brush, jammies, sleep sack, song, bed,” she notes.

Find Perspective

“Most of the concerns I see parents have with their kiddos (whether in infancy or adolescence) is sadly a projection of their own insecurities,” Crowley explains. “When we can be aware of our fears and how often we impose them on our children it allows us to separate ourselves and really see and appreciate who they are and enjoy the process much more,” she continues. “We need to trust that this little person is unfolding just as they should, as opposed to on a timeline we have scripted for them.”  

Don’t Be Afraid to Ignore Advice

“Everyone will give you advice, solicited or not when you are about to have a baby or have a newborn,” according to Kelly and Perren. “It’s extremely valuable to listen to the experience and perspectives of others, as it can help you form your own opinions, but make sure that you know that what is right for some families may not be right for yours. Let your motherly instinct kick-in and listen to it instead,” they say.

Get Back into Exercise at Your Own Pace

“When you’re cleared to exercise, that doesn’t mean you should jump right back in at the same pace you were before,” according to Scott. “To start, keep your fitness goals small, manageable, and realistic for you. And remember that every bit counts—whether that’s going for a walk with your family or squeezing in a quick naptime workout.”


“Sleep like you’re not going to sleep for the next three years,” Auerbach urges. “Allow people to help you. If someone offers to bring food or watch your baby so you can nap it’s most likely they’ve been in your shoes. Don’t attempt to be Superwoman. You already are. You created and birthed a baby,” she continues.

Trust Yourself

“Everyone you know will have advice and opinions about how you are raising your baby…However, you are the only real expert on your baby and what he or she may need,” says Crowley. “So when you are feeling like you want to ask an expert about something, first get quiet and in touch with your own sense of what might be going on with your little one and how you could best meet that need,” she advises.

Take a Lot of Pictures

“You will never regret having too many pictures of your kids,” according to Kelly and Perren. “As your baby grows, you’ll stumble upon pictures of them (and you) and they will make your day. We’ve found that looking back on them as babies also helps to put your child’s age and stage into perspective when you are going through some rough patches. These pictures will become your most valued possessions,” they note.

Don’t Try to Be the Perfect Mother

“There is no such thing as being the perfect mother,” Auerbach says. “Being a mom is one of the hardest titles to hold but one of the most rewarding. Trust your instincts and don’t judge yourself through social media. Do not be hard on yourself or get discouraged if you fail. If you fall down, get back up, and try something else,” she adds. 

Stay Nourished

“Now isn’t the time to cut calories or go on a restrictive eating plan,” Scott says. “This is so important for a healthy mama and baby. Make sure you’re nourishing your body so you can be fueled to care for your little one. Concentrate on nutrient-packed foods that are rich in calcium, zinc, magnesium, vitamin B6, and folate,” she advises.

Know That It’s Okay to Do Things Differently

“Breastfeeding may not happen for you, whether it’s hard to latch, a medical condition, or it just might not be what you want to do,” Auerbach explains. “This is extremely common; do not think you are a failure,” she continues.

Remember That Nothing Goes as Planned

“This is basically just a good lesson for life, period. But the birth, labor, and delivery rarely go exactly how you envision or plan for it to unfold. So the best advice we ever received is to remember that whatever is going to happen, is going to happen,” Kelly and Perren say. “There is no amount of planning, wishing, or hoping that will change it. So try your best to relax and be accepting of this. It will make a huge difference in how you experience this life-changing moment.”

Find a Community of Mamas

“Surrounding yourself with other new moms is so important! You can turn to each other for support, encouragement, and advice,” Scott points out.

Remind Yourself That You Know What You’re Doing

“I trust parents to make good decisions for their families,” says Fritsch. “You know what you’re doing. Trust yourself.”

Don’t Forget to Take Time for Your Partner

“It is so easy to lose sight of your relationship and even yourself. I barely remember those first few weeks of motherhood,” Auerbach admits. “Between exhaustion, blood clots, and a failing feeding schedule, it can be hard to find quality time to reconnect with your partner. However, it is crucial that you make time. Remember it takes two to make a baby,” she notes.

Understand That the Parent-Child Bond Is a Relationship like All Others

“It takes work. Lots of it. So expect that there will be times when it feels hard to connect with your child or that you need to work through some issues,” says Kelly and Perren. “Meditation and reflection are really helpful tools for this, as is leaning on your mom friends as all mothers go through this with their kids,” they advise. “Sometimes, although you have it in you, you just need a little guidance to get back on track,” the founders agree.

Expect that there will be times when it feels hard to connect with your child or that you need to work through some issues.

Know You’re Doing Amazing

“No matter what’s going on—even through the tough days and the sleepless nights—just know that you are the best mama in the world to your baby. When things get tough, you’ll know what to do. You were made for this and you are doing incredible,” Scott says.

The Best Advice for New Moms

The first few days home from the hospital were glorious. Having been morning sick for 36 weeks of my 42-week pregnancy, the light at the end of the tunnel was a beautiful newborn, coffee tasting good again, and no longer needing to hug the cold porcelain of the toilet anymore.

Because my in-laws live overseas, my mother-in-law stayed with us for about a month.

During that time I basked in my new motherhood. I focused on my daughter, healing from my cesarean and soaking up the joy that came with having my little girl fall asleep on my chest.

When my mother-in-law left, things got real.

While I was still grateful for my newfound motherhood, I was also rocked by how nothing about my life was linear anymore.

Showering and adult conversations were interrupted by cries. Something as simple as plating store-bought rotisserie chicken and bagged salad took twice as long as it should. And unloading the dishwasher felt like my Everest.

When my head hit the pillow at night, I was still on duty.

On top of it, my body didn’t feel like mine anymore. Not only did I have a huge scar along my lower abdomen, but my breasts looked like torpedos. Every orifice of my body was leaking. My stomach was still puffy and felt like a mutant.

Around eight weeks, my daughter went through a growth spurt and spent 48 hours latched to me. The moment my husband walked through the door, I was shaking, puke-soaked and desperate. I threw a can of formula at him and told him to keep the baby away from me for a while (the second she wanted to nurse again, I ended up grabbing her back).

It was around this sensitive time, I came to learn another less-than-desirable part of being a new mom – getting inundated with advice.

While I’m sure the unsolicited advice was well-intentioned, I found it was anxiety-inducing.

“Don’t spoil the baby” was the one that got under my skin the most. As someone who studied psychology, I knew this was counterintuitive. But it bothered me nonetheless.

“Sleep while the baby is sleeping” one made me feel like I wasn’t doing things right. For the first three months of my daughter’s life, she tended to nap in short spurts lasting less than 30 minutes at a time.

And then, there was the advice about sleep training. I had relative strangers visibly concerned that my four-month-old wasn’t sleeping through the night every night. And, it happened a lot.

Related reading: Why Science Says You Can’t Spoil a Baby

Advice for New Moms – The Best Way To Interpret the Worst Advice

There are nuggets of good advice amidst the unsolicited advice out there, they just need some editing. Here is the not-so-great advice for new moms and their better, edited counterparts.

Bad advice: Sleep when the baby is sleeping.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not a light switch. I can’t just rest at the drop of a hat. And, I’m not sure if you noticed, but young babies sleep really unpredictably and for unusual durations. I have slept when my toddlers have slept, but if I did this every single time they did nap, nothing would get done around the house.

Better advice: Don’t try and do it all. If you need to rest, lay down and ignore your to-do list. If you’ll go crazy if you look at the unfolded laundry for one more minute then do that instead.

Bad advice: Put baby cereal in the baby’s bottle so she sleeps longer.

Pretty well every source imaginable says this is a bad idea because babies shouldn’t have solids until 4-6 months of age.  Plus, it’s a choking hazard. The safest way to feed a baby ready for solids is while they’re sitting upright. Also, as Bettina, mom of two, points out, babies don’t just nurse for nourishment. They also do so for closeness and comfort.

Better advice: Nurse/ bottle feed your baby on demand. Follow your health authority or doctor’s advice for introducing solids. If you need a break delegate a night feed to your partner or a family member using pumped milk or formula.

Related reading: Introducing a Bottle to a Breastfed Baby – a nervous mom’s guide

Bad advice: Don’t spoil the baby. You’re holding him too much.

If you happen to hear this ill-informed piece of advice, you may want to ask that person to do a little google search. There is no article based in developmental science that suggests it is possible to hold a baby too much. Before the advent of strollers, bouncy seats, and car seats, humans relied on holding and wearing babies in slings or makeshift carriers. Because of this, neonatal development is strengthened by physical contact. In fact, one study found that babies who were held less had less mature DNA (1). Quite simply babies rely on closeness and touch to develop optimally. As they get older, they will naturally want to be more independent. No amount of newborn-holding will stop this.

Better advice: Hold, carry and love your baby to help foster her develop. When you need a break, put the baby down or pass her to someone else to regroup and recharge.

Now onto the absolute best advice for new moms

Every single piece of advice should be approached with an element of flexibility. Even if you feel it resonates with you, if your course of action changes, be forgiving of yourself. Also, don’t take advice just simply because it’s what you feel you should be doing.

Accept others’ help.

It’s easy to get caught up in trying to be polite. However, if someone offers to bring over dinner, wash your floors, or fold your laundry, say yes. There is no prize for doing it all. Every extra little bit of help gives you extra energy, extra morale or just a needed break from being touched out.

Get some alone time.

Whether it’s going to the grocery store alone, driving to and from Starbucks or actually taking an hour or two to yourself, find a way to do it regularly. As cliche as it is to say, you can’t pour from an empty cup. And you’re not just doing this baby thing for the next few weeks. You have the next 18 years plus to be selfless most of the time. Take time for yourself.

Have a sense of humour, or at least be loving to yourself, in the face of your parenting fails.

We all have them. All of us. But they feel especially consequential when you’re a new mom. It’s easy to feel like each action defines your success in this new role. But this isn’t remotely true.

In fact, in a study on emotional development, Shore found that new mothers responded “the right way” to their babies approximately 30% of the time (2). What separated the best mothers from average ones was their propensity to re-attune. Meaning, when they failed to get their responses right the first time, these mothers tried again to find ways to get it right. As such, he concluded that the real power in parenting is in the “good enough mother.” It’s guaranteed that all parents will get parenting wrong often. However, what separates the best parents from the average is their desire to get back on track and re-attune themselves with their parenting goals and what is best for their infants.

No one knows your baby better than you.

This is something I had to teach myself. But new moms need to listen to their instincts. If someone makes a suggestion to you that doesn’t sit well, let your gut be your guide. Vanessa, mom of three, suggests saying, “Thanks, I’ve got this,” to shut it down.

Understand parents who parent differently than you are doing their best too.

I have friends who chose to formula feed because she could not take how draining and exhausting breastfeeding was and it was impacting her mental health. When my son was about five-months-old, I got so tired I stopped putting him in his crib and co-slept because I couldn’t get enough sleep any other way.

Every situation is unique and so are each person’s limitations.

Whether it’s good or bad, it isn’t forever.

The best piece of parenting wisdom I was ever given was from one of my regional managers. He said, no matter if it’s incredibly good or incredibly tiring, understand everything is fleeting. Relish in the good and hold onto it while you can. Motor through the hard times knowing there is an end in sight. No matter what, there will be a day your baby no longer nurses, does sleep through the night, doesn’t fit into your arms, and needs you way less.

A final note

It’s been eight years since I brought my bright beautiful baby girl home. And in that time, I’ve learned to lower my expectations, roll with the punches more, and laugh at the fact that I’m now a bit of a hot mess mom. The unsolicited advice comes much less frequently too. I still fumble but I understand now more than ever that no one has this down pat.

As neuropsychologist Allan Schore shares:

Giving birth and becoming a mother to an infant is a profound experience. Not surprisingly, the early postpartum experience is an emotional and challenging time, associated with both positive and negative affect.

The truth is, it’s okay to falter, to feel out of touch with yourself and feel overwhelmed. Through the ups and downs, lean into those around you, share your experiences and soak up those baby snuggles.

Other articles you may find helpful:

The Lonely Mom: how to conquer this feeling and engage the village again

3 Simple Ways to Promote Language Development in Infants

Why Sleep Training Might not Work and What to do Instead

(Book) The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Newborns

Do you agree? What tips would you add to this list?

What’s the best advice for a new mom?

• Have easy to eat snacks available for when you’re hungry but have to feed/ nurse your baby. Apples, protein/ granola bars, pre-cooked chicken, carrots sticks are all great options.
• Find a mom and baby group, friends with babies or an online group where you can share your experiences
• Remember no one knows your baby better than you.
• Say, “Thanks I’ve got this,” or, “If I need tips, I’ll let you know,” to unsolicited advice.
• Accept offers of help big or small.
• If you need to ignore household chores to get a little extra sleep do it. But if a clean house is better for your mental health, then prioritize that.
• Everyone parents somewhat differently and that’s okay.
• Forgive yourself. No one gets it right all the time or even close to all the time.

What are some of the best things to say to a new mom?

• Your baby is so beautiful.
• Can I drop off a coffee?
• Would you like me to change his diaper?
• I have dinner I’d like to drop off.
• Do you need a break?
• I’m here for you.
• You’re such a great mom.
• You look great!
• Whenever you need me, I’m just one text away.

What are good gifts for a new mom?

Any offer of help, notes of positivity, coffee, food delivery gift cards, essential oils, clothes that are breast-feeding friendly, precooked dinner dropped off, items to pamper herself at home like facial supplies, bath salts, and moisturizer.

The best advice for new parents from parents who get it: You!

Recently, we had an awesome discussion on our Facebook page about the best parenting advice we ever got. Which led to some insightful, honest, and often hilarious contributions from our own community.

Here, a wonderful range of parenting advice from our very own readers. And hey, don’t be shy on jumping in on Cool Mom Picks Facebook discussions; you never know who you might be helping.

1. When people ask if your child sleeps through the night, just lie and say yes. It helps you avoid all that sleep advice. -Nancy

2. It’s okay to mourn your old life and think, “Dear God what have we done!” -Lindsey

3. Ask for help. Accept help when offered. -Mom the Pirate

4. Supermom doesn’t exist -Ducks in a Row

5. Ask yourself whether what you are upset about will be important in five years or even in five minutes. -Nancy

6. You’re not a bad mom if you don’t love every single stage of child-rearing. -Susan

7. Don’t try to accomplish too much in any given day. Aim for one thing: grocery shopping, unloading the dishwasher, a walk around the block. But not all three. -Mommy Gearest

8. Read your baby, not your baby book. You are enough. -Leah

9. You’ll never look back and wish you held your baby less. -Christine

10. It’s perfectly okay to abandon a shopping cart full of groceries if your baby gets fussy. -Rachel S

11. Buy a pair of nice cotton pajamas and wear them for two weeks after birth to remind your family that you’re still recovering. (And to remind your husband that you’re not back to your bouncy self!) -Sarah

12. Don’t compare your chaotic, sleepless life to other “edited” versions. -Rhiannon

13. Just when you think you’ve reached the best milestone with your baby, it keeps getting better. -Sheila

14. Beware of everyone who wants to tell you the right way to do things: breast feeding, foods, sleeping arrangements. They all want to sell you something. -Tess

15. It’s okay to cry. And it’s okay to be tired. Take a moment, recharge, and bury your face in your baby’s neck. Breathe him in and stop for a moment, counting to ten. And then suddenly, it’s all okay again. Repeat as necessary. – Mahta

16. Airline attendants tell the adult passengers to put their own oxygen masks on before helping small children. It’s okay to let a baby cry for two minutes if you need to pee or to make a sandwich. -Karen

17. You’re a good mom if you’re doing your best. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not. – Sheila

18. If you breast feed, bite on a leather belt before you chip a tooth from the initial pain. -Tess

19. Walk. With the baby. Even it’s just to the corner. The fresh air will do you both good. -Pea to Pumpkin

20. The days are long but the years are short. -Rachel

21. This too shall pass. -Bree

Do you agree with these suggestions? What was your favorite parenting advice you ever got as a new parent?

The 10 Pieces of Parenting Advice I Actually Use

Once you start telling people you’re adding a baby (or another!) to the family, it’s only a matter of time before the advice starts rolling in – regardless of whether you ask for it or not.

It can be pretty overwhelming for parents-to-be to wade through the little pieces of wisdom being thrown at you. After all, you’re hearing one thing from your friends, reading something else online, and your mom’s telling you radically different. With so much knowledge at our fingertips – and detailed examples and advice of every acquaintances’ parenting experience via social media – finding a happy medium seems like a lost cause.

As a new mom, I felt consumed by the need to find the “perfect” way. But as I work my way through motherhood, the more I realize the individuality of each path. There is no one-size-fits-all advice. As a new mom, I was quick to offer my two cents to my friends, but now, I find myself stepping back and supporting them as parents instead.

And, if they ask for some advice, it’s usually one of these that I offer.


1. Resist Google

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t Googled literally every question I’ve ever had regarding my kids, their health, their development, their clothing or shoes, and my experience of motherhood. What I want when I Google is an answer – what I often get is 100 more questions. What I look for through Google is a way to calm my uneasiness or doubt as a parent – what I get is just heightened anxiety.

Having a go-to friend or two to text and an amazing pediatrician just a phone call away has been a great way to relieve this anxiety. I can rely on these people for an honest, helpful, and trustworthy response and the guidance I’m looking for without being overwhelmed with contradictions.


2. Do what works

There’s always going to be times in your parenting journey when you make a decision you don’t particularly prefer (iPad at dinner, cookies for breakfast, offering YouTube so you can hit the grocery store in peace, etc.). In these moments, I try to give myself some grace and say, “It’s what works right now, and that’s OK.”

We can be so hard on ourselves as parents, and the weight of constantly feeling like you have to do the “right” thing is a lot to carry. Accepting that it’s OK to just do what works in some moments has been pivotal in my parenting journey.



3. Keep your eyes on your own work

We heard it from every teacher in grade school, and it still holds true. The impact of social media on our parenting is real, and the struggle to avoid the comparison game is real. I fall into the trap often.

The truth is that every parent, every child, and every relationship is different, and continually comparing your actual life to someone else’s highlight reel is just not sustainable. With so many other things to think of, the mental energy we use to constantly compare ourselves to others is one we have to let go.


4. Take photos of the real stuff

As someone who has a great interest in photography, I find myself always seeking perfect, clutter-free backgrounds and nice, even lighting in order to capture the lives of my kids. Obviously, since they’re children who do not care for these same things, the photos in my head don’t often come to a reality.

What I try to be intentional of now is capturing the reality of our lives – the funny, the silly, the chaos, and craziness. Years from now, I know this is what I’ll look to for a sweet, accurate glimpse of their childhoods.


5. Let them be who they are

When I started to understand that my job as a mother was not to raise my baby in the way that I thought was best but to understand him, get to know him, and then raise him to be his best, everything changed. My job is not to change who they are but to respond to who they are and what they need.

This gave me confidence in every part of my parenting. And if now I get an unsolicited comment on my decision to be consistent with bedtimes or why I “let” my boys wear pink and sparkles, I don’t feel the need to respond or defend myself.

I know I’m doing my best to support my babies in who they are and who they are becoming.


6. White lie, if you have to

And no, I don’t mean telling your kid that the ice cream truck is sleeping for the day or that Target is closed so you don’t have to make yet another trip.

What I mean is that sometimes, in conversations with strangers, acquaintances and even friends, a little white lie can go a long way. With my first baby, I made the mistake of answering truthfully when someone asked, “So, how is he sleeping?”

I learned quickly that no one was really looking for the real answer – the question was more just something you say when making conversation. Instead of being disappointed that I wasn’t receiving the support I was looking for in these interactions, I started just saying, “Oh, he’s great, thanks!” Smiles all around, awkward conversation over.



7. Let your partner be their own parent

As a new mom, I struggled a lot with control and routine – I wanted things to go the way I wanted them to go (the way I thought was best), and I had a really hard time being flexible.

This came in to play most when my husband took over certain things and his method of management wasn’t the same as my own. After some squabbles and reflection, I realized that the reason my husband parents differently then I do is because he is a different parent then I am – and his relationship with his children is different from their relationship with me.

Once I started to let him be the parent he is, I started to really watch his relationship with our children instead of watching the clock as he did the bedtime routine or cringing when he grabbed the “wrong” lotion.

And from observing him be a father, I’ve grown so much as a mother.


8. Everything is a phase

This mantra runs through my head constantly – from night wakings to cleaning high chairs to toddler tantrums to potty training accidents. It’s all a phase.

During the hard moments of motherhood (there’s many!), the struggle seems endless. The frustration is hard, the emotions run high, and it seems like you’ll be in this place forever.

But you won’t. The phases fly by and new ones come in their place, each with their own hardships and joys.


9. Get outside

There is rarely a thing that can’t be cured with some sunshine and fresh air. Missed naps, mealtime struggles, tantrums, parental frustration, sibling arguments – all of these problems have been solved at one point or another by just stepping outside of our house.

I can really see how not being outdoors affects the entire family’s emotions and sense of wellbeing in the winter when we don’t get out as much. But when the temps are above freezing, this parenting hack is my go-to, and it has stood the test of time.



10. It doesn’t get easier

This seems like downer advice, but hear me out. Many people may tell you, “Just wait, it gets easier.”

But it doesn’t. As our little ones grow, things are just going to get more and more complicated. We’ll soon be dealing with screen-time rules, bullying, school difficulties, juggling extracurricular activities, heartbreaks, failed friendships, discrimination, online culture – so many other things. It doesn’t get easier.


You do get better at it. You learn about your child. You figure out how to simultaneously protect them and let them go. You find your footing as a mother. You begin to empathize. You ask for help. You love them wholeheartedly and hope for the best. You gain confidence in your parenting. You accept your shortcomings and mistakes and move forward. You find your village. You do your best. Then you learn more, and you do better.

You figure it out.

It doesn’t get any easier, but you will figure it out.


36 Best Baby Shower Gift Ideas for New Moms 2021 — Pregnancy Gift Ideas


Unless you’ve lived through the hazy first few months of having a baby yourself, you probably don’t know where to start on this whole baby shower gifts thing. I feel you! From products that you never knew existed (Snotsuckers, anyone?) to ones that you don’t even know how to use (seriously, how do you tie a swaddle?), overwhelming is an understatement when talking about shopping for expectant parents. Here’s the good news, though: With this gift guide, you don’t actually have to be a parenting expert to pick out a good present because I’ve done the work for you. (And you are so welcome.)

Whether you’re shopping for a mom-to-be or you, yourself, are pregnant or expecting and need a few helpful suggestions for your own baby registry, try one of these baby shower gifts for new moms (and for new dads, yep, there’s a gift guide for ’em, too). These gift ideas will definitely make navigating the first few years of parenthood a whole lot easier. So scroll on for 36 thoughtful baby shower gift ideas that are at the top of any expecting parent’s list of things to buy. You’ll have as much fun shopping for them (because baby tingz are just so darn cute!) as they’ll have receiving them.


This smart bassinet

SNOO Smart Sleeper Bassinet Happiest Baby


Listen, I know the price tag is very $$$$, but believe me when I say it’s worth it. This smart bassinet will actually rock your baby to sleep for you, while also emitting soothing white noises.


This Wall Shelf for Books

Acrylic Wall Shelf Pottery Barn Kids


The mom-to-be will likely be stocked with lots of books for the little one—and a clean, acrylic wall shelf is the perfect way to organize them and put them on display.


A Cozy Sleep Sack

Baby Solid Sleep Bag Kyte BABY


Like a wearable sleeping bag for Baby, these zip-up sleep sacks are easy to take on and off for diaper changes and will keep the baby warm and cozy all night long.


These Organizers for Breastfeeding

The Prompt 4-Piece Breast Pump Storage Kit Petunia Pickle Bottom


Think of these as packing cubes for all your nursing needs. With this set, you get an insulated cube for keeping up to four milk bottles cold, a rectangular case for storing pump parts, a drawstring bag, and a carrying case to keep everything together.


These Baby Bath Products

Baby Arrival Gift Set The Honest Company


Make bathtime easy for the parent-to-be by setting them up with everything they need during and after a bath, like body wash, shampoo, lotion, balm, and more.


This Cute Wooden Baby Gym

Earthy Tone Baby Gym Mobiles / Wooden Play Gym LanaCrocheting


If you’re going for the cutest baby shower gift, this baby gym is the one. It comes with crocheted rattles attached that you can remove and use as toys once the baby is too big for the gym.


This Soothing Sound Machine

Sleep Miracle Soother Sound Machine For New Parents Baby Shusher


This little gadget is designed to lull crying babies back to sleep by mimicking the soothing shushing sounds parents make so they don’t actually have to do it themselves. (Hallelujah.)


This Bottle Sampler Set

Bottle Box Babylist


If ya didn’t already know, babies are pretty picky about the bottles they like. This sampler set will let the parents try out five different kinds before stocking up on a bunch that the baby refuses to take.


These Hospital Must-Haves

Frida Mom Hospital Kit Fridababy


Can an expectant mom really be overprepared for the big day? Nope! She’ll be so glad to have this gift full of postpartum must-haves ready to go as soon as she needs them.


A Calming Journal

52 Lists for Calm: Journaling Inspiration for Soothing Anxiety and Creating a Peaceful Life AMERICAN WEST BOOKS

Things might be (relatively) calm now pre-birth, but soon-to-be parents will sincerely appreciate this journaling book that’s full of prompts and tips for the truly stressed out.


A Bath Supporter

Baby Bath Angelcare


Make bath time easier on the parents with a super helpful baby bath support. This mesh one keeps the little one well supported in the water while also allowing for the runoff to easily drain through.


A Multipurpose Cover

Cover Milky Stripe

Milk Snob

A cotton cover that perfectly fits on a baby carrier, car seat, and even over mom’s body when she needs to nurse is one baby shower gift the new mom will get plenty of use out of.


A Cute Pacifier Clip

Sage Green Silicone and Wood Pacifier Clip Loulou Lollipop


Once the baby starts dropping (and throwing) everything, any new parent will be glad to have one of these to keep pacifiers from landing on the floor every two minutes.


A Versatile Diaper Backpack

Indi Diaper Backpack Dagne Dover


This diaper bag is so good, it even doubles as a gym bag. Not only does it have tons of space for diapers and wipes, it’s also pretty cute.


A Baby-Bottle Warmer

Fast Warmer Philips AVENT


Parents can evenly heat up milk bottles in a jiff with a genius bottle warmer like this one (bonus: It even has a defrost setting).


A Portable Baby Bed

Deluxe+ Stage 1 Dock DOCKATOT


A lightweight, portable baby bed that you can easily take with you where you go? This isn’t a want, this is a need.


A Pair of Baby Booties

Snap Bootie ROBEEZ<SUP></SUP>


What’s cuter than a tiny pair of baby shoes? Answer: nothing. If the mom you’re showering already has everything she needs, get her a fun gift for the newborn, like these precious pink booties.


A Smart Baby Camera

Monitor and Wall Mount


Most baby cameras come with annoying monitors that just get in the way. Not this one, though. It syncs with your phone and even tracks Baby’s sleep stats! 


A Sling for Errands

Peekaboo Crossbody Diaper Bag TWELVELITTLE


For a new mom, “quick errands” are no longer a thing. When she needs to step out but also needs to keep all the diaper bag essentials close by (just in case), she’ll appreciate having this spacious crossbody bag on hand.


This Sentimental Gift

Letters to My Baby UncommonGoods


Prompts on this ready-to-mail stationery will help Mom document every sweet moment. She can then give the letters to her baby to treasure forever when they’re all grown up.


This Soothing Set

Mom’s Survival Pack UncommonGoods


Help the new parents rest easy while baby sleeps with this relaxing kit. They can pour the mineral bath salts in the tub and use the sleep salve to catch some much-needed Z’s.


A Pretty Nursing Bralette

Bliss Perfection Racerback Maternity/Nursing Bra NATORI


If she’s breastfeeding, she might be stuck in nursing bras for a while. Give her a comfy (yet pretty!) one that she can feel good about wearing all the time. 


A stylish Baby Carrier

Baby Carrier Mini BABYBJÖRN


Here it is: a baby carrier that’s actually cute.


this Keepsake Bassinet

Signature Bilia Bassinet Design Dua


How cute is this bassinet? Carry the babe easily with the basket’s two handles or set the basket into its frame to rock the little one gently to sleep.


A Comfy Robe

Women’s Ultra Plush Fleece Bathrobe

Ojai Lingerie

Treat a mom-to-be with a plush fleece robe that’ll make her mornings and evenings that much cozier. 


this soothing Candle

Namaste Soy Candle DorothyBCo


With all the new and interesting smells that come with having a new baby, parents will love filling the house with a scent they actually enjoy. Something like this relaxing candle will do the trick.


A Convenient Bundle

To-Hospital Box Hatch


When it’s time to give birth, it’ll be easy for her to grab the essentials and go, thanks to this chic gift. The luxe set will also help the mom-to-be feel as cozy as possible, with organic bamboo briefs and a wrap that’s softer than any hospital robe.


some Tiny Protective Mittens

Soft Anti-Scratch Newborn Baby Mittens

To avoid that whole baby-accidentally-scratching-their-face thing that often happens with newborns, here’s a pair of fun little mittens. 


A cute Nursery Decor piece

Nursery Name Sign ModWoodCo


If you already know what the baby’s name will be, this three-dimensional wooden plaque with their name on it is a super cute idea for decorating the nursery. 


A Gold Initial Necklace

Initial Necklace BYCHARI


How cute would this be: a necklace with Baby’s initial for Momma to wear and then hand down whenever the little one is big enough.


A Baby Memory Book

Baby Photo Album Pearhead


There’s nothing like a memory book to keep track of all the exciting events and milestones that happen in a baby’s life, and it’s a great way to look back on old photos. 


A Few Blankies

Adjustable Swaddle Blankets

New parents will go through a lot of swaddles before finding The One. Get them this adorable set of three to add to the rotation.


Extra-Soft and Gentle Swaddles

Baby Swaddle Set Brooklinen


Remember what I said about swaddles? New parents can really never have too many! They can use these super-soft cotton-bamboo blankets double (triple?) as swaddles, burp cloths, or covers for the stroller or themselves.


A Diaper Organizer

Baby Diaper Caddy

A top-rated organizational caddy with multiple pockets will look right at home in any nursery. Plus, the inserts are removable for functional storage. 


A Silky Eye Cover

Sleep Mask

For all those restless nights new parents will have after their baby is born, a sleep mask will totally come in handy. 


A Lipgloss Trio



Whether she calls a baby sitter for a romantic evening out or she just wants to feel put-together, she’ll love a trio of glosses in the prettiest tones of neutrals and pinks. 

Lauren Adhav Associate Fashion Editor I’m Cosmopolitan’s Associate Fashion Editor and write about any and all trends, major celeb fashion moments, and why wide-leg jeans are basically the best. Brooke Shunatona Brooke Shunatona is a contributing writer for

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How to answer children’s questions about death – Rossiyskaya Gazeta

– Did he die? – My son once asked, looking at the torn body of a dove lying under a tree. I was not ready to tell a three-year-old child about life and death, so I explained that the bird was just sleeping and took him away to swing on a swing.

The next time he spoke seriously about death three years later. Crushed bugs and war games do not count, because for him it was all just a game. We were then in the Brest Fortress, stood by the Eternal Flame, looked at the walls covered with bullets, and suddenly a 6-year-old child asked: “And those people who lived here are now in heaven? Were they scared to die?” After carefully listening to our story that there was a war then and everyone was scared, the child asked one of the most difficult questions for parents: “Will I die too?”

How to explain to a child that death is inevitable, but that does not mean that one should be afraid of it? How to tell that your grandmother or grandfather is gone? And is it necessary, maybe, to protect the little man from grief and suffering and come up with a story that a loved one left on a long journey?

Psychologists advise parents to overcome their own fears and prejudices and not be afraid to talk to their children about death.After all, children constantly see death around them: on TV and in computer games, find dead birds and insects on the street, hear about it in fairy tales. Death is an inevitable fact of our life, and the task of adults is to help children understand that it is normal to talk about this phenomenon.

The author of the book “Think Like a Child, Act Like an Adult”, Candidate of Psychological Sciences Olga Makhovskaya warns that the death of relatives can be an unbearable burden for children.

– They often perceive death as a punishment.They begin to worry and worry about whether they will face a heavy retribution for the fact that they eat poorly, do not brush their teeth on time, wear clothes carelessly and do not listen to adults, ” she explains. – At this time, it is very important for the child to hear confirmation that he is not in danger, that he is needed and that they will take no less care of him, despite the loss in the family.

A psychologist warns parents against trying to use the death of a loved one for educational purposes. Phrases like “You will behave badly and they will take you to heaven” are unacceptable.

Fear of death in a child does not always manifest itself directly, but can take on latent forms – in not letting go of the mother or in the difficulty of falling asleep, for example.

Finding the right words to calm your child is not difficult. Psychologists have long figured out how children’s attitudes toward death change with age.

Children under 5 years old usually perceive death as temporary and reversible. Everything is like in a fairy tale, where the characters die and then come to life again. And in real life, after the funeral of their beloved grandmother, they can ask their parents for a long time: “When will grandmother return?”

Children begin to realize that death is the end closer to the age of 9.They are increasingly wondering what death is and whether it can be avoided. And death itself in their imagination often appears in the form of an angel of death or a skeleton.

From 9-10 years old comes the full realization that death is irreversible, inevitable and that they themselves will someday die. It is at this age that adolescents begin to fantasize about death, imagine themselves dead in order to show their parents how the latter were unfair. Or they start taking risks, demonstrating their “control” over life and death.

Beginning a difficult conversation, psychologists advise remembering that there are many things that a child still cannot understand due to age, so you should not say more than necessary, so as not to confuse and frighten him.

General recommendations are simple. Answering questions should be simple and honest. The fears that the child has are often worse than what they really are. Don’t be afraid to say the words “died” and “death”. But the metaphorical expressions “fell asleep forever” or “went on a long journey” should be avoided.Even schoolchildren take some metaphors literally, and after such an explanation, the child may refuse to go to bed.

Many people think that it is not worth talking about a deceased person in front of a child, so as not to remind him of the loss once again. But in reality, this is not entirely true.

– Adults can go to the grave, church, or simply discuss their experiences with friends. A child should also be able to cope with the loss together with others, – explains Olga Makhovskaya.- You can look at family photos with your child, tell some interesting, funny or sad story about the deceased. Children should understand, no matter how the fate of a person develops, they remember him.

There are many ways to comfort a child. You can, for example, say: “Now he is in heaven, looking at us and rejoicing” or “We will miss her. I loved talking to her.”

Should I take my child to the funeral? There is no single answer to this question. It all depends on the age of the child, his emotionality and sensitivity.

– You need to make it clear to the child that you are ready and will treat his fears and fears with understanding. It is one thing to calmly tell what happened, and another to immerse the little man in a long ritual of mourning. It is better to take the child to the cemetery and commemoration in the following days, the expert advises.

According to psychologists, a child can be taken to church, to a funeral service, but you should not include him in the funeral process itself, especially if it is a civil funeral. For example, psychologists consider the Orthodox rite of burial to be less hopeless and difficult, because in believing families, children know where a person is going.

And one more important piece of advice from Olga Makhovskaya: no matter how hard it is for you, be sure to talk to your children about your plans for tomorrow. So that, going to bed, the child does not think that tomorrow will be as scary as it was today. Sit next to him on the bed, pat on the head. Whatever happens, your baby should know that you will always be there and can help him.

How to answer children’s questions about death

Is death like a dream?

Death looks like a dream only outwardly.When you go to bed, your body continues to work: your heart works, your lungs – you breathe … And you also have dreams. When a person dies, his body stops working.

Why did the person die?

If a person died of old age, tell the child so, emphasizing that this is how the world works. If death is due to an accident, explain that the body was damaged so badly that it stopped working. But tell me that in most cases, people who are injured can recover and live for a very long time.If death came from an illness, we can say that the illness was very strong, the body could no longer resist it, and therefore stopped working. But usually the human body overcomes the disease. There is no need to be afraid if mom is sick, for example, with ARVI.

Is he cold underground? Is he scared there?

It is necessary to explain that the body of a deceased person no longer works, and therefore it no longer feels anything – neither temperature, nor fear, nor pain …

Will you, me, dad ever die?

If the child is vulnerable and sensitive, do not say a direct “yes”.Make it clear that most people in the world live a very, very long time. If in the child’s words there is an open hope for dissuasion: “I really won’t die ?!”, given the child’s age and vulnerability, it is permissible to answer in the affirmative. But it is better to say honestly: “Sometime in the very distant future this will happen, but it will happen very, very soon.” Hearing such an answer, the child can be very upset, but you cannot “take back” your words, just as you should not turn them into a joke.

Will I die too?

Reassure the child and tell them that there are still many, many things to happen before the child reaches a ripe old age and dies.

Based on materials from the site

Future parents pass on not only genes to their children, but also the burden of life experience

The health of children is influenced not only by the genes of dad and mom, but also by many environmental factors, including the lifestyle of parents before conception. Scientists are increasingly understanding how this influence is transmitted.

The life program recorded in the genome, which determines the appearance, character, health, etc.the child receives from mom and dad when their sex cells fuse at conception. But in addition to the genetic program, a lot of different things that happen to parents, both after conception and before it, affect the future person.

Experts from the Robinson Research Institute and the University of Adelaide School of Pediatrics and Reproductive Health have analyzed everything that science knows about heredity today, and published their findings in the latest issue of Science .“It is only in the last ten years that the scientific community has begun to seriously discuss these issues, and it is only in the last five years that we have begun to understand the mechanisms of what is happening,” notes Sarah Robertson, professor at the University of Adelaide in Australia.

Some facts have already become common knowledge, for example, that the expectant mother should not smoke and drink.

Few think about the fact that dad is also not allowed, and a few months before conception.

From the perspective of a doctor “Newspaper.Ru ”told about this obstetrician-gynecologist Georgy Mestergazi. How science explains this will be discussed further. And there are quite surprising facts, for example, that the health of the child is influenced by the nutrition of not only the expectant mother, but also the future father, as well as his tendency to obesity.

“People usually think that none of this matters, because with conception, a new life begins,” says Sarah Robertson. – But in fact, we reward the unborn child with all the burden of our own life experience.

Factors such as the age of parents, dietary habits, obesity, smoking, and many others – all of them send signals that affect the health of the child.

They can increase the risk of diabetes and other metabolic, cardiovascular, immunological or neurological disorders. ”

Moreover, the role of the father in this is no less, and often more, than the role of the mother.

First, scientists describe all the factors that affect the future person at the time of conception and immediately after it.

The oocyte is fertilized by the sperm in the cavity of the fallopian tube and, while the zygote begins to divide, moves along the tube, heading to the uterus.In the mucous membrane of the uterus, it is introduced after a few days at the stage blastocyst (this is a ball consisting of cells, numbering from 30 to 200). And while the dividing egg passes through the fallopian tube, it is surrounded by fluid. The composition of this liquid is influenced by various factors – a woman’s nutrition, metabolic features, some kind of inflammatory processes. Already at this stage, they act on the work of genes in the first cells and can accelerate or slow down the rate of division. And often at this stage, the egg is discarded due to serious genetic pathologies, pregnancy does not occur, and the woman does not even know that fertilization has taken place.

Nutrition of the expectant mother greatly affects the early development of the embryo.

A decrease in protein nutrition in the first three days of development slows down the multiplication of cells and their differentiation into the so-called germ layers, from which various tissues and organs are subsequently laid.

After the introduction of the blastocyst into the uterus, nutrition affects the development of the placenta, which connects the embryo to the mother’s body.

Inflammatory diseases also affect the development of the embryo. In an experiment, scientists showed that mice with bacterial lipopolysaccharide gave birth to overweight babies with impaired exploratory behavior.

The paternal contribution to the conditions of fertilization is also present. Scientists explain that the composition of the semen affects the development of the embryo. It contains many substances – cytokines – including growth factors that stimulate cell division.And inflammatory diseases and infections negatively affect its composition.

The earlier experience of the parents is passed on to the offspring, because it affects the maturation of their germ cells. Moreover, there is a fundamental difference between eggs and sperm. All eggs in full are already available when the girl is born. With the onset of puberty in each menstrual cycle, they only mature, passing the last division meiosis . In contrast, sperm are produced throughout life.

The older a man becomes, the greater the number of divisions his spermatozoa pass through, which means that the number of errors – mutations – increases in them.

This is the reason why , as “Gazeta.Ru “, that the age of the father increases the number of mutations that he passes on to the offspring. At 20 years old, these are 25 mutations, and at 40 years old – already 65. The age of the mother does not play such a role.

All this concerns the genes themselves, the hereditary information recorded in them. But not only changes occur in DNA that affect its nucleotide sequence. There are external chemical changes that do not change the structure of the molecule, they are called epigenetic . Most often it is methylation – the addition of CH3 methyl groups to the nitrogenous base of cytosine.Methylation is the most important tool that regulates gene activity, because if there are many methyl groups, they prevent the gene from working at full strength and reduce its expression.

And this is the mechanism by which the external environment influences the work of genes. The degree of methylation changes under the influence of nutrition, stress, and various individual experiences, and some of these changes can be passed on to offspring.

During the formation of germ cells, DNA is also methylated. True, before fertilization itself, most of the epigenetic markers are erased.But not all, some remain and through the germ cells are transferred to the zygote and the developing embryo.

Epigenetics explains many completely amazing things, such as the memory of generations: on mice, it was shown that traumatic events were transmitted in this way not only to children, but also to grandchildren. Well, and more mundane facts, such as the impact of fathers’ nutrition on children’s health.

It is known that an overweight father (more than an overweight mother) can disrupt the normal metabolism of the child.Smoking, alcohol, drugs – all this leaves an epigenetic imprint on sperm during maturation.

Poor nutrition of fathers, low in protein, can also affect children in a bad way.And in a study, about which Gazeta.Ru wrote, it was shown that a lack of folic acid in the diet of future fathers can cause birth defects in offspring due to methylation disorders.

As for oocytes, most of their influence on the embryo is transmitted through mitochondria . These are organelles in which energy processes take place for the vital activity of the cell. The development of the embryo is an energy-intensive process. And the embryo receives mitochondria from the egg, through the female line, since the entire cytoplasm passes from the egg to the zygote (the sperm contains only the nucleus and tail, it is practically devoid of cytoplasm).First, the embryo receives mitochondrial DNA , in which there may be mutations (and a method has already been developed to get rid of the diseases transmitted with them). Secondly, the diet, smoking and obesity of mothers affect mitochondria, which can change their location and activity.

It has been convincingly shown in mice that in obesity and diabetes, mitochondria incorrectly affect the developing embryo.

So, unfortunately, everything affects the health of the offspring. And from the height of the knowledge gained, scientists strongly advise future parents, before planning a pregnancy, to change their lifestyle for a healthier one.Even small changes in the right direction will have a long-term positive effect.

Union of Pediatricians of Russia

Dear Colleagues! We invite you to take part in the VI All-Russian multimedia conference “TIME TO LIVE”, which will be held on August 26, 2021 in Moscow in a hybrid format. The conference is dedicated to the problems of vaccination throughout life. Leading domestic …

Dear Leila Seymurovna! With great joy and pride, the Union of Pediatricians of Russia, together with the world pediatric community, congratulates you on your birthday! Your multifaceted activity is aimed at the development of pediatrics and, thereby, at preserving the health of the future…

Dear Alexander Alexandrovich! Congratulations on your 80th birthday. A world-renowned scientist, a talented doctor, teacher, organizer – you have devoted yourself to a work that requires special human qualities, indifference, constant application of strength and creative energy. Your perennial …

On this significant day, pediatricians of our country and the whole world congratulate the famous Russian pediatrician, scientist and teacher, founder of the Union of Pediatricians of Russia, Academician of the Russian Academy of Sciences Alexander Alexandrovich Baranov on his birthday. His contribution to the development of domestic …

In the media, especially on social networks, the parent community is increasingly asking questions about the advisability of vaccinations for children against covid. Exactly opposite opinions sound. One part of parents is actively interested in: Do children need to be vaccinated, and if so, what and where? And the second one is very …

Dear Alexander Alexandrovich! Congratulating you on your anniversary, Striving for sublime words, We will say as simply as we can: “Thank you from the bottom of my heart!” For the nobility of your thoughts! For your world, bright and big! For becoming a little older, You are getting younger in soul! …..

For significant achievements in the field of science and many years of conscientious work, the Honorary President of our professional association A.A. Baranov was awarded the medal “For contribution to the implementation of state policy in the field of scientific and technological development.” Order of the Ministry of Science and Higher …

Today is 80 years of the main children’s doctor of Russia, academician Alexander Baranov. There is no such title – the main children’s doctor of Russia? Indeed, no! But Alexander Alexandrovich Baranov is the main one, it is for children, it is Russian.And hardly anyone dares to dispute this statement …

Academician A. Baranov’s birthday is tomorrow. The editorial board of “Medical newspaper” wishes Alexander Alexandrovich health and success in the field of serving children. An indisputable authority, a state figure, the leader of Russian pediatrics … The epithets could go on for a long time. …

Dear Colleagues! The Union of Pediatricians of Russia continues the cycle of online scientific and educational events dedicated to current problems of pediatrics.July 10, 2021 at 09.00 (Moscow time) we invite you to take part in the webinar on the topic: “Frequently asked questions in the practice of children …

90,000 how to recognize and what to do to parents (and what is absolutely forbidden)

Hello. My name is Alena Prikhidko, I am a family psychologist. I live in the USA, Florida. And today I will tell you about what childhood trauma is and why this concept is misinterpreted in our country in general, and why what is often called a trauma and what parents are afraid of, in fact, may not be a trauma.

Now I often hear from mothers, especially from those who deal with children in line with the theory of attachment: “Oh, I can’t help but put my child to bed in the evening myself. If I do not do this, then I may break attachment, ”and so on. And mothers are often afraid that they can injure their children with any sneeze. So I want to reassure all mothers now, to say that traumatizing a child is actually not as easy as it seems to us. With one shout of a child, you most likely will not injure him, and maybe even with a slap you will not injure him.So I want to talk today about what trauma is and when it occurs.

Childhood trauma has four key features. This numbness, this numbness, hyperexcitation, contraction and dissociation. I’ll explain what it is, so that it is clear when something happens to a child that can potentially cause trauma, so that you pay attention to whether it is there or not, and can understand whether he is traumatized or not, and what’s next. to do with it.

When a child is traumatized, he, as a rule, non-verbally, that is, at the level of the body, changes greatly.Suppose a child is very frightened – a dog rushed at him. Suddenly, all of a sudden, you were walking down the street with your child, walking – and out of nowhere a big dog rushed at your child. And you see that the child froze, that is, he froze, he froze. You see that he is looking in an incomprehensible direction, he seems to be in prostration, after that he can begin to behave hyperexcited, somehow chaotic. And at the same time it happens that he may have this dissociation, this is when he tells you later: “I seemed to see myself from the outside.”

The most important reaction that potentially leads to injury is numbness, freezing. And this reaction – freezing – in fact, we inherited it from animals. Because animals in a situation of danger, in a situation of threat, I can do what – they can run away, some roe deer runs away, some other animal, not a roe deer, can attack someone who poses a potential threat, and animals can also freeze. And often they freeze, pretend to be dead, so that later, when the predator is distracted, run away somewhere.

So man differs from animals in that he often freezes in a traumatic situation, but then does not defrost in any way. And as Peter Levine, a trauma researcher, says, this frozen energy seems to freeze somewhere and then, without being thawed, gives negative consequences. In the form of what, what can be the consequences of the injury? It can be an anxiety disorder, it can be, in extreme cases, post-traumatic stress disorder, which does not appear immediately, but over time, because the child has not been thawed.The same thing actually happens with adults.

Therefore, this is this frozenness – we see it as numbness, numbness, shock, open mouth, the child can turn pale. That is, you see that something is happening to his skin, he is pale. And he looks, as we speak, nowhere. Americans use the word “glaze”, the verb “to glaze”, that is, it is in prostration. And if he remains in this state for a long enough time, it means that you need to pay special, close attention to him, your parental attention.Because parents can really help children.

If a child starts crying or trembling – this is good, it means that this energy that has been frozen, it unfreezes and comes out. She needs to get out. And what is the mistake parents make often? They begin to hug and squeeze children when the children begin to tremble with fear. You don’t need to do this. I say so: let the child shake. Because if a child is trembling, he throws off this energy that was frozen, this energy of fear, shock, numbness, horror.If he cries, this is also good, it also helps him to shed this energy.

If the child remains frozen, has not dropped anything anywhere, you will notice this by the way he behaves. What are the signs of this? For example, children repeat the same stories in games. Let’s say a child had an accident, and he was very scared, it was just unexpected. And after that he was numb: pale, mouth open, not moving. Then suddenly he starts to run at home somewhere, behaves somehow not very familiar, not very adequate.And then he starts playing the accident. And yet you see that in this game, which in English is called reenactment trauma, he reproduces the event that traumatized him. She’s really interesting. And now you look, you understand that the child, he does not receive any pleasure from this game. Here he takes the cars: bang bang, bangs them one against the other. And no pleasure, no joy, nothing happens. That is, he repeats, repeats this plot. He returns there all the time with his thoughts.So what’s going on? It seems to be stuck there. So he was frozen there, and he was stuck there, and when he thinks about what happened, he will experience it over and over and over again.

What is very, very important in this sense? It is important to know what potential situations can traumatize a child like that, cause him to have these experiences. This, of course, depends on the age. Because babies, if you scream very loudly, directly strongly, then it can be traumatic for him, because he does not have any resources at all to somehow protect himself from it.The younger the child, the more you are his resource, you are as a parent. For a baby who crawled out of his mother’s belly, where it was very warm, cozy and comfortable, for him everything that happens is extremely unpleasant. For him, the only thing that is pleasant in the early stages of his existence is mom, warmth, chest, body. He has no way to protect himself from this world around him, which is very loud, although his stomach is also noisy. In general, it is not very good for him, and therefore for him any such strong influences can become traumatic.Therefore, next to the children, you do not need to shout very loudly, you do not need to clap loudly, you do not need to swear loudly, intensively. He can be injured from strong temperature changes, that is, for example, it was very, very warm in the room – and suddenly it became frosty, then this is not very good for the baby.

As children grow up, they get older, they have some resources to cope with difficult situations. They understand that they can go, say something or cry, mom will regret it.But still there are situations that can injure children.

What is it? First, these are different physical falls. It would seem that if a child fell out of your bed or down the stairs, the first thing we always think about is whether he has a concussion. Which is very, very correct, you should always think about it first and observe the physical reactions. In this case, reactions that are associated with a concussion, they can also indicate that he had a psychological trauma.Therefore, you do not need to let the child fall asleep right away, you need to watch him. Here you look at these signs of whether he has horror, whether he is numb in fear, whether he has some kind of hyperexcitation that he starts to run, jump, say something very quickly, that is, you see what something inadequacy. This means physical situations: very strong falls, bruises, he can get very badly off the bike and be shocked and frightened. This can also potentially be a traumatic situation for the child.

These are loss-related situations. For example, parental divorce. And often parents do not behave very correctly during a divorce, we will talk about this separately. This is the death of, for example, a loved one, this is the death of a pet, this can also be a great pain for a child if he is attached to an animal to his pet. And we know thanks to our psychotherapists that Anna Yakovlevna Varga speaks about the role of a big animal in the family system, so they can be like relatives for a child, he can humanize them.

This means that these are situations associated with a visit to the doctor. I had such clients, there were many of them, who were very traumatized by how, for example, their adenoids were excised in childhood. Especially people of my age who live in Russia remember how it was done: no anesthesia for you, as they say to children now “let’s go, we’ll give you a chocolate pipe”, meaning anesthesia, no chocolate pipes, they tie you to a chair and let’s cut these adenoids, rivers of blood. Well, of course, this cannot pass without a trace, if at the same time the mother is not allowed to visit the child.And therefore it is very important, when you are leading a child for the first time to get vaccinated or donate blood, to take good care of this situation, to know to whom you are taking him, to try to agree with the doctors in advance so that everything is as it should be, so that he does not have a traumatic memory of this first campaign, it is clear that it is difficult. In general, these situations are medical.

Physical falls, physical injuries, situations of loss, situations associated with going to doctors. Sexual abuse, which is now being talked about a lot, but it is a traumatic situation, in which, of course, if you find out about it, it is better to go to a specialist.If the parents themselves can help the child with physical injuries, doctors themselves, then with sexual abuse, of course, it is better to go to a specialist. A separate serious topic. Emotional abuse – a situation where a child is humiliated, insulted – can also become traumatic for him.

And all these types of situations can potentially traumatize the child, but not necessarily he will be traumatized. Because it depends on a number of characteristics of his own: his temperament, his resources, the availability of an adult who can help him.And now the adult plays a key role here, an adult who can help the child, can support him, can be there. It plays a key role precisely because the child does not have the resources to cope on his own, and the adult acts as such an external resource for the child.

As Peter Levine says, the adult’s job is to put the plaster on the child. Because the child has its own innate ability to heal. And the task of an adult is to serve as such a plaster, to help these inner resources, the child’s abilities to gain strength and, accordingly, heal from this trauma.

When mothers are afraid that they have injured the child with some careless word of theirs or by not giving him some tasty candy, and the child has made a scandal, of course, there is no need to be afraid of this. Because if your child does not have these signs that I have listed, most likely everything is in order with him. We are talking about psychological trauma, when a child is in shock, when he is faced with some event that he cannot bear, to cope with which he does not have enough strength without outside help, then we are talking about psychological trauma.

And today, of course, this concept is very worn out, everyone uses it pretty often and not too lazy. There is no need to do this, no need to devalue important psychological concepts of childhood trauma.

So, when we are faced with such a situation when a child is traumatized, our first task, strange as it may sound, is not a child, but ourselves. Our first task is to calm down ourselves, and you know very well this banal phrase, but it does not lose its relevance: first provide yourself with an oxygen mask, and then – the child.This universal of airplanes, which we can apply to all these situations, when our children are suffering. This is very, very important.

Why is this important? Because there is such a mechanism, it is called emotional contamination. Emotional contamination is an automatic transmission of emotions that is difficult for us to control. For example, I will smile at you, and there is a chance that you will smile at me in return. And this mechanism of emotional infection is associated with our non-verbal, first of all, with the face, first of all, with our facial expressions.Therefore, when a child is already scared himself, he is scared, he trembles, he sees the same scared face of his parent, he will be even more scared, he will be even more afraid, he will be infected by this parental emotion of fear from his parents.

Therefore, if something happened to your child that, as it seems to you, very much frightened, shocked him, you first of all need to think: so that with my face, it expresses what, it expresses fear, fright, it is calm ? You can even just turn aside for a second, calm your face.For example, it helps me a lot to imagine that I take some kind of warm cloth or just touch myself with my hands, because I know that my face is numb at moments when I am scared. Calm down and turn around with a calm face, that is, set yourself up for calmness, stability, confidence, because this is what you should broadcast to your children. It is very important. Before you run to them and ask: “How do you feel, what happened?” This is not really necessary to do at all.That is, you can ask what happened, although this is not the most important thing that the child needs at the moment when he is in shock. You will find out what happened later. It is important for you to approach him calm and stable.

I remember once walking with the child in the forest and saw how the girl fell and broke her knee very badly, was covered in blood, and I saw her mother, who was standing in a panic and crying, and both of them were very ill. No one knows who is worse, but my mother felt as bad as the girl, which is understandable, because this is our child.We experience, we experience empathy, we feel what our child is feeling. And now our task is here, having experienced that empathy, realizing that he is feeling bad, to return to his stable state of calm. Because he needs us as a resource, he does not need us from this moment as a panicking creature of a large size, larger than him. He needs comfort and protection from us.

The face is very important, first of all, further – the rest of your body. What helps you to calm down, this is what you need to use.All people have different ways of emotional regulation, calming down. For example, it helps someone to imagine that someone is standing next to them who very much calms them down, for example, some of your partner or, perhaps, a parent. Anyone, some person, as if he is next to you, he is holding your hand or somehow stroking you. And then you breathe out. That is, it is important for us to leave the tunnel at this moment, from the tunnel of fear for our child, in order to help him, because we want to help him, we do not want him to remain frozen forever and ever.This is the first task. And when you have calmed down, you go to the child calm, and your whole state should transmit the confidence that you will know what to do, even if you do not know, you know what to do, and everything will be fine in the end. That is, you are there and everything will be all right. This is what the child should feel and hear from you.

The second step: you need to pay attention to the child and assess whether he has these signs of trauma, which I spoke about, to somehow monitor them.If they are, then the next moment, the moment that is important for you to consider is to pay attention to what is happening with his body. Why is it so important? Because our trauma occurs at the level of the brainstem parts of our brain, that is, our brain can be conditionally divided according to one of the currently popular theories into a triune brain. We have stem sections, which are called the reptile brain, we have a limbic system associated with emotions, it is called the mammalian brain, we have a neocortex, that is, this is what humans have, which animals do not.And so the trauma, it happens at the level of the reptile brain, at the level of the lizard’s brain. And this piece of the brain speaks to us in the language of sensations, it does not understand words. Therefore, we help the child by paying attention to his feelings. It is most important.

How do we draw the child’s attention to his feelings? Ideally, if possible, you need to sit or lie down next to the child, while you do not have to do it right away, but it is possible that some time has passed, maybe even the next day.But we need this energy, if it was frozen, to unfreeze. And you ask him how he feels in his body. He may begin to tell you himself: “Mom, my stomach hurts” – this is very good. And then you ask him: “Show me where it hurts.” If he can show, he shows. And what color is this pain? What shape is it? What does it look like? You ask such questions so that the child gets the maximum experience possible. And you will see as he answers you, it can take from 5 minutes to 20 minutes, how his complexion will change, he may start yawning, he may start laughing, smiling.

He will begin, which is important for a child who has been injured, to establish eye contact with you. Because at first, remember, I was talking about prostration, that is, he looks somewhere, and he will periodically look at you, that is, he will, perhaps, turn away, then look at you again. This is a sign that his healing has started, the process has begun.

What mistake do parents make? When a child is injured, they start asking him how he is feeling. This is a very important point.The trauma is associated with the brainstem, the reptilian brain, its tongue – sensations. He can’t tell you anything. When a person is in shock, he has no words. And you know yourself. For example, imagine that someone died, or remember when a loved one died, you are in shock. Someone will ask you something – I don’t know what to say, I have no words. We say so.

Here the child has no words when he is shocked and when he is potentially traumatized. Therefore, you don’t need to ask him how he feels.You will talk about it later. We must first talk about sensations, about the body, so that he can monitor it, help him, so that he dumps this energy. Then it will be possible to draw, talk about emotions. But first you need to pay attention to the sensations, talk to him in the language of the parts of the brain that are metaphorically similar to a crocodile and a snake.

And what is more important – do not rush. It is very important to do this calmly. Because imagine a lizard: she sits, sits, sits, then she ran, but she sits, sits, she is slow.That is, it is necessary to talk about it slowly, calmly. And kids really love to describe this. They love to fantasize, love to invent. And they will talk to you, but you definitely need to give them this time.

Another important point, especially if the child has fallen, he is somehow physically traumatized – to drive away all relatives and in general curious people who run in: “Oh, oh, what happened? Oh, Vanechka fell, oh, poor, oh, what is it. ” All this is not necessary at all. At all. Just say to them: “Relatives, thank you, then come.”And to be alone with the child, tenderly, not to stop the trembling. What can you do physically? You can stroke him somehow on the shoulder or pat him on the back. But do not squeeze it in any case. Don’t be alarmed if he shivers or cries. Give him this energy to come out.

Photo: DepositPhotos

90,000 Tips for parents of swimmers! Read here!

As the parent of a little swimmer who is passionate about his child’s ability to grow and develop, it is always very difficult to walk the fine line between extreme passion and complete alienation from the result that your young champion shows.For young swimmers who are able to quickly change their mood, gaining that incredible enthusiasm, or even hollow frustration and self-doubt, it would be useful to know that they feel this way, largely due to the way their parents behave the day before. competitions. It turns out that all the stress and doubt that we experience is reflected in how tense and self-doubting they feel before the start.

A study from Ithaca College clearly demonstrates all of the above.The scientists worked with a group of young athletes from 6-18 years old, involved in a variety of individual sports, including swimming. On the day before important competitions, athletes and their parents were given questionnaires in order to find out what results they expect from the performance, as well as how they feel before the upcoming start. The results were quite expected:

• The most depressed and self-doubting athletes (where the degree of self-doubt was assessed by such parameters as anxiety, physical symptoms – muscle tension, loss of concentration) had parents who uncompromisingly craved that their children would certainly defeat everyone and everything, and not in by no means were not worse than the rest.

• Those in the age groups experiencing the highest loss of concentration also had parents who never wanted to see poor results or who consistently compared expected results with their child’s best performance.

The winner takes everything – so the famous saying goes, but in this case, too much pressure on the young athlete only moves him away from the desired result. Focusing too much on winning creates an atmosphere in which your swimmer is physically less likely to succeed.“You may think that on the contrary, you are doing your child better by setting him up in a positive mood and reducing his degree of anxiety. But personally, I think that parents should not think that way at all, ”says Miranda Kaye, co-author of the above study.

Raising an athlete is not a joke to you – and it’s not for me to tell you this. Before you start skimming the cream, you will have to sweat a lot, taking your child to every training session of the season, picking him up from there, taking him to morning workouts, going with him to marathon swims at sea and constantly investing your energy, money, time.As a result, you may feel as if you are investing in victory much more than your child, but in return you are not getting any return and overwhelming results. Think this is by no means not the case. And if you really want to be the best mom / dad for your child, an attitude that keeps you cool, relaxed, and backed up with healthy advice creates a much more rewarding environment for outcomes.

Article prepared and translated by using materials from the resource:

Thanks for the photo: ARENA

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Newborn baby skin care: 10 golden rules

Caring for the skin and mucous membranes of a newborn has its own characteristics.At the age of 1-2 months from birth, baby skin is very delicate and sensitive, therefore it requires special attention. To avoid inflammation and other problems, it must be carefully looked after.

Features of infant skin care: recommendations for mother

In order to protect children’s skin, parents need to adhere to basic rules.

  • RULE 1: gentle cleaning. When choosing a product for baby’s skin care, give preference to hypoallergenic formulas that do not cause irritation – they are the most suitable.
  • Remember, hygienic skin care of a newborn baby should not be carried out using excessive amounts of cosmetics. It is recommended to use high quality cosmetics and only from a trusted manufacturer. It often makes sense to limit yourself to only soap or a special gel for very sensitive baby skin.

    For example, the soothing shower gel LIPIKAR GEL LAVANT is perfect for these purposes.

  1. special baby oil to protect baby’s skin;
  2. Any remedy to moisturize and restore it.For example, a great option – milk for dry and very dry skin of babies LIPIKAR LAIT ;
  3. and loose powder to remove excess moisture and reduce friction.

Leather should be treated in this manner regularly.

  • RULE 3: Carefully dirty diaper. Change your diaper regularly to avoid diaper rash that can occur from contact with stool and urine. Be sure to cleanse your skin with a damp cloth or towel dipped in warm water.Dry the skin thoroughly.
  • RULE 4: and most importantly – dry! Choose absorbent diapers that protect your skin from moisture as much as possible.
  • RULE 5: Say no to humidity. Avoid diapers that are too tight and synthetic pants that interfere with moisture wicking.
  • RULE 6: A touch of tenderness. After each diaper change, lubricate the newborn’s skin with a regenerating cream that contains antibacterial ingredients. CICAPLAST BAUME B5 multi-repair balm will perfectly cope with this task.
  • RULE 7: Wash your hands. Wash your hands thoroughly after changing a diaper.
  • RULE 8: Correct Temperature. It is recommended to wash the diapers at a temperature of at least 90 ° C to destroy all opportunistic bacteria.
  • RULE 9: Detergent is an important factor. Use hypoallergenic powders with a low surfactant content for delicate washing of diapers and linen in contact with baby’s skin.
  • RULE 10: consultation with a pediatrician. Check with your pediatrician if your baby’s skin health is in doubt. For example, if at the site of irritation the skin becomes wet or covered with pimples.

Proper care for the face of a newborn baby

Facial skin care for infants is generally simple: every morning you need to wash your face with warm boiled water.You can use a mild cleanser from time to time, such as LIPIKAR SYNDET AP + . It is very convenient to do this with cotton pads. Washing begins with a peephole, then the nose is cleaned, then the cheeks and forehead. The ears can be cleaned less often, 2 times a week will be enough.

Now you know how to properly care for baby skin at home. Remember that this kind of care must be regular!

90,000 tips for choosing and how to put on for long hair How to choose a rubber cap for the pool for your child.

Coming to the pool for the first time, beginners will find out that a must-have accessory during training is a swimming cap. If it is not there, then you will have to go home or buy the desired item on the spot (fortunately, they are usually sold in every pool). It is useless to argue and be indignant – these are the rules. And even if there is a short “hedgehog” on your head, you still have to put on a hat. The question arises, are these rules really expedient, or is it pure bureaucracy? We find out.

Cap – swimmer protection

When swimming with uncovered hair, we expose them to chlorine, which, according to the norms, contains at least 0.5 mg / l in the pool water. Hair dries up, becomes dull and brittle, even begins to fall out. If they are colored, sometimes a greenish tint may even appear. And children’s delicate hairs suffer especially. Covering our heads with a bathing cap, we avoid all this.

Now more about health. In the cold season, leaving the pool with wet hair is both unpleasant and harmful.It may well blow on the way to the shower, and a cold is guaranteed. Water accidentally entering the ear can cause a lot of discomfort and, in some cases, can lead to ear problems. And (especially silicone ones) tightly cover the ears and leave the hair dry. And swimming in them is much warmer – this is important in winter and autumn.

Regarding safety and comfort, the following can be said: long hair in water can make an unpleasant “surprise”. They sometimes wrap themselves around glasses, close their eyes and climb into their mouths.Then you have to untangle the strands for a long time, and even cut off some.

Beanie – a way to achieve records

The smooth shape given to the head by latex and silicone products can significantly reduce frictional resistance. Therefore, the speed of movement is much higher than when swimming with open hair. Athletes-swimmers never start training without a cap. Naturally, no one participates in competitions without this attribute.

Cap – protection of pool equipment

Fine filters, which are installed in each pool, are designed to remove small particles of contamination.When hair gets into them (and this is inevitable if people swim with their heads uncovered), they quickly clog. The result is that the filters work less efficiently. It is not difficult to extend their trouble-free service – you just need to.

Latex, silicone or fabric?

Today, stores mainly sell swim hats made of latex (aka rubber) or silicone. There are also fabric hats, which include lycra, polyester or polyamide. They are quite comfortable, but they have a huge disadvantage – they let water through.Therefore, they are usually bought only for aqua aerobics.

Latex hats are cheap, but they don’t last too long. They are easy to tear, not very comfortable to put on, they stick to the hair unpleasantly and require dusting with talcum powder during storage. In addition, natural latex is a common cause of allergies.

Silicone caps are slightly more expensive. But they are comfortable and very elastic – they can stretch twice when pulled, and the head fits just perfectly.It is easy to put on and take off such a hat; you never experience allergies when using it. And there is no need to keep stocks of talcum powder – after swimming, the product just needs to be rinsed with water and dried.

Combo Caps are lined with lycra fabric on the inside and polyurethane or silicone on the outside. They are expensive and are used primarily for training by professional athletes.

A swimming cap is really a must, especially if you are going to swim regularly.When choosing a hat, many questions arise: which hat to choose, which one is better, what is their difference, what is it for at all. We will try to answer all the questions so that you know exactly what you need and approach the purchase competently.

Why do you need swimming caps

Some people wonder why swim caps are needed at all, especially if you have short hair. In addition, hair often becomes damp even under the cap. But a hat is a necessary accessory for both men and women, and, of course, for children.

1 Swimming pool water is most often disinfected with bleach. This water is very harmful for all hair types. It is noted that with frequent contact of hair with water from the pool, the hair can begin to fall out, become dull and brittle. Thin hairs of children are especially harmful to water with bleach.

2 The caps still keep the hair relatively dry. Usually only a little of the hair near the edges of the cap gets wet. Drying wet hair is easy.

3 If you do not use a cap, then hair will definitely get into the pool water. This disrupts the operation of fine filters in swimming pools.

4 Thanks to the hat, you will not freeze. Wet hair removes heat from the body much faster.

5 For timed swims, the cap reduces water resistance so you can move faster. Therefore, at competitions all athletes have hats.

6 Hair that falls on your forehead and eyes does not bother you.In addition, if you wear goggles, they can become tangled in hair that is not covered with a cap.

7 The hat is fashionable and stylish. Thanks to this accessory, it becomes clear to everyone that you are a real athlete. There are even special collections of caps that are produced together with sports swimwear – they are made with the same patterns and in the same color scheme.

Where to buy a pool cap

Pool caps can be purchased at any sports store.There you can also buy other paraphernalia for this sport: a sports swimsuit, glasses, etc. A store consultant will help you understand the types of hats and their prices.

What are the swimming caps

There are several types of pool caps. The cheapest of all – latex . Perhaps the price is their only advantage. They do not stretch well, they are difficult to pull on the head, it is difficult to remove them, since hair adheres well to them, and can cause allergies.In addition, they are very short-lived, they break quite easily. A latex hat is difficult to care for. After drying, it must be treated with talcum powder.

The most popular type of caps are silicone . They cost a little more than latex ones, but they have a number of advantages. They do not cause allergies, they stretch well, they are easy to remove, and they are easy to clean. After visiting the pool, it is enough to rinse the cap in cool water and dry it out of direct sunlight and away from the battery.These hats can be seamed and seamless. Seamless beanies are said to be better as they won’t rip. But it is very difficult to break hats with a seam. The choice of colors, models, designs, inscriptions – all this undoubtedly attracts and allows you to choose what you want. For children there are special silicone caps with children’s prints, bright colors.

There are also fabric hats . They are more expensive than others, and they let water through. Their advantage is that they are easy to put on and take off.But they get completely wet. Therefore, what is the essence of such a hat is not entirely clear.

Combo Caps for swimming is the most expensive option. Outside, these hats are covered with silicone, and from the inside with fabric. This option is the most convenient and practical, and if you are satisfied with the price of such an accessory, then choose it. The hat is excellently worn, easy to care for, easy to put on and take off, almost does not get wet.

What are the sizes of pool caps

Cap sizes are generally standard.As a rule, they deal only with adults and children. Children, of course, have a smaller volume and better fit the child’s head. But hats from different manufacturers may have slight differences in volume. Therefore, it is better to choose a hat for yourself or with your child – if the hat is bought for him. In this case, you can immediately try on and compare to find out which hat is most comfortable.

How to put on a hat

Many beginners are wondering how to put on a swimming cap in order to experience the minimum amount of discomfort.For many children, putting on and taking off the cap is also a whole problem, and few of the toddlers love the process.

If you have long hair, it is recommended that you first pull it up in a bun or braid your hair so that the neck remains open. To secure your hair, use only regular hair ties, no jewelry or rhinestones. Do not pin your hair with hairpins and hairpins, sharp and long earrings are also best removed. It is advisable to remove jewelry from hands before putting on the hat.For example, rings can break a cap.

Some are interested, how to position the seam in relation to the head on the cap correct: from ear to ear, or from forehead to occiput. Most often, the cap is placed with a seam from the forehead to the back of the head, that is, along the head. But there is no fundamental difference, this does not affect the swimming process. Therefore, you can dress her the way you like best.

So, to put on the cap, you should stick both hands inside, so that the back of your hand touches the cap.The fingers themselves should not be spread out, round them so that they form a rounding. Now gently pull on the cap, starting from the top of your head. Hair and bangs that come out from under the cap can be easily tucked under the cap. Taking off the hat is easier than putting it on. It is enough to bend its edges a little and carefully remove it.

But what kind of hat was invented especially for those with long hair:

And here is a funny video about how you can easily put on a swimming cap:

If you are planning to go swimming, you should provide this process with everything you need: a swimsuit or swimming trunks, goggles and a swimming cap.

Questions you may have when buying a swimming cap:

  • why is it needed?
  • What sizes are there?
  • What material is better to choose it from?
  • Are there men’s, women’s and children’s models or are they universal?
  • Where can you buy it?
  • How to put it on and take it off correctly?

You can find answers to all these questions in this article.

What role does a pool cap play?

  1. Prevents water from entering your ears.
  2. Protects hair from bleach used for water purification and reduces water friction when moving.
  3. Retains hair loss and does not pollute the pool.
  4. Keeps the body warm as wet hair quickly cools the body.
  5. Protects hair from getting wet.
  6. Gathers hair that gets in the way of swimming.
  7. Accentuates your style.

Obviously, this sports accessory is essential in the pool. Now you need to decide how to choose a hat for the pool.
Sporting goods stores offer a wide variety of models of this accessory in all sizes, styles and materials: womens, mens, childrens, colored, monochromatic, smooth, embossed, made of fabric, latex or silicone.
Women’s collections are made complete with swimsuits and are made with the same pattern, pattern, lettering or in one color.

Types of hats

Before choosing a swimming cap that suits you in all respects, let’s figure out what materials these accessories are made of.


They are thin, difficult to put on and difficult to remove, stick to hair and can even cause allergies. Moreover, they are short-lived. Latex models will be comfortable for athletes with short or completely cut hair. But their price is not high. Now you can buy a latex hat in the pool as a backup if you forgot to bring your own. Previously, there were no other types of caps on the market, but now latex has been replaced by other types of materials that differ in many advantages.


These products have many advantages. They are elastic, increase in size when stretched by 2 times, easily put on, stretch well and do not tear hair, which is very convenient for long-haired athletes. In this case, we recommend tying your hair with an elastic band and not using hairpins, since there is a possibility that the hairpins will pierce the hat, although in general it is very durable. A thickening is made along the edges of the cap so that it fits more tightly to the head. Silicone allows for colorful patterns and vibrant designs, so the variety of designs will delight beauty lovers among swimmers.

If you are a professional swimmer, we recommend using silicone models for competitions. In sports stores, you will find beanies that match the contours of the head, do not fold into folds, and have a perfectly smooth surface.
After use, it will need to be rinsed in plain water and dried. It dries quickly enough. The silicone cap should not be kept in direct sunlight or near heating batteries.

However, these hats have a drawback: they fit snugly to the head, so discomfort and even a headache are possible.For those who have encountered such a problem, it is recommended to use fabric swimming caps.


Fabric (textile) caps are well suited for those who are engaged in aqua aerobics. They are soft, easy to put on and just as easy to remove, while the hair is not electrified or damaged. Made from the same materials as swimwear (lyre, polyester), so they get wet. Their main function is to hide hair. They are very durable: pin your hair with bobby pins and put on such a hat – it will not be damaged.In addition, the prices for textile caps are low. But they are not suitable for competitions, since they have a rough surface, and this will reduce the speed of movement in the water.


These are the most comfortable and practical models. They are a fabric cap covered with silicone on the outside. Therefore, they are ideal for the head and hair, while almost impermeable to water. Hair will only get wet at the edges of the cap. They are very good for training, but for competition it is better to have a smooth and thin silicone cap.These products do not require complex maintenance: it is enough to rinse in water and dry. Quality is followed by price, so if the funds allow, buy this option.

What are the sizes of swimming caps

Sizes for caps are standard: children and adults. Adults are larger in volume. The volume of the product may differ from different manufacturers, therefore, when choosing it for yourself or for a child, be sure to measure it. If it presses, discomfort and headaches may occur.

Women’s voluminous pool caps

The sporting goods market provides girls with another opportunity to show their individuality by choosing a silicone pool cap with voluminous figures, flowers and patterns. These models are presented in a variety of colors. So how you choose a pool cap according to your taste and style is up to you.

There are also embossed accessories for young swimmers: bright children’s pool caps with the image of your favorite cartoon! You will order original products from the manufacturer.

Children’s pool caps

How to choose a pool hat for a child? The sporting goods manufacturers have taken care of the young swimmers as well. Children’s models are smaller in volume than adults and are made so that they do not strongly press the child’s head. Sports stores recommend these baby caps: AWT Fish Cap, Kun Cap Jr, Moulded Silicon Jr Cap.

How to wear a swimming cap correctly

Many people feel a lot of unpleasant sensations when putting on a pool cap.How to minimize them?

Recommendations for girls. Before putting on a hat, tie your hair with a simple elastic band, remove hairpins and hairpins from your hair, and rings and bracelets from your hands. Do not wear long earrings before exercising. Jewelry will certainly suit you, but it can damage the hat and interfere with your swimming.

How to position the seam correctly? There are 2 options: from ear to ear or from the forehead to the back of the head. Both options are acceptable and do not affect the process of movement in the water.

Directly putting on the cap.Place both hands inward with the backs to the walls of the cap, bend your fingers. Then, take your time, pull the cap in the direction from the crown of the head to the back of the head. If some strands remain sticking out, just tuck it into the hat.

Removing the pool cap is even easier: pull it off at the edge and carefully remove it. Careful attitude to the product will allow it to serve you as long as possible.

To whom is it possible and useful to visit the pool, you ask? Almost everyone.

The fact is that swimming allows you to reduce weight, improve your health, relieve stress, which is very important in our time, improve your mood and take a break from everyday problems.

During swimming, the blood supply improves, the skin rejuvenates, the flexibility and mobility of all joints increases, the spine relaxes.

Going to the pool? Are you sure you have chosen the right equipment? For example, a swimming cap is a very important attribute for any swimmer. In this article, we will explain why you need it and how to use it.

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Why do we need a swimming cap?

It is impossible to neglect the cap when swimming in the pool (and not only).Primarily because its main purpose is to prevent hair from getting into the filtering equipment of the pool. In some pools, however, visitors are allowed to swim without a cap, attributing this to the perfection of modern wastewater treatment systems. But the cap not only takes care of the pool, but also of you.

Here are some useful functions of the swim cap:

  • Reduced water resistance due to streamlined shape;
  • ear protection;
  • Reducing the effects of chlorine on hair;
  • heat preservation.

The choice of swimming caps today is huge – they are made of latex, silicone, fabric or combined materials. All of them stretch well and sit tightly on the head, but if it is important for you that the cap does not let water through, choose a silicone one or one made of combined materials. Latex are affordable and uncomfortable. They are difficult to put on and difficult to take off, they tear easily, and what is most unpleasant – they spoil the hair and cause allergies in some. For owners of long hair, it is better to use special caps for a large volume of hair, so that there is enough material to protect the ears.

Hats have no sizes – they are divided into adults and children.

How to wear?

To put on the swimming cap, remove all jewelry from the ears and hands – they may tear the cap. If you have long hair, you need to put it in a bun and tie it with an elastic band. After showering, you can wet your head to make donning easier.

Now insert your palms into the hat, stretch its walls slightly to the sides and pull, starting from the forehead – and up to the back of the head.Spread the hat on your head, remove the falling curls.

Ears can be covered with a cloth or left open. In the first case, you will protect yourself from water leakage, but it will be worse to hear others, and this can create discomfort. If the ears are not closed, water will flow into them – how often and how much depends on the individual anatomical characteristics of the swimmer. For some, this is a daily problem, for others – a rarity. After a few workouts, you yourself will understand what is best for you – to leave your ears open or pull on a hat on them.


Swimming cap is very easy to care for. After swimming, it is enough to rinse it with running water and put it in a bag or waterproof bag. When you come home, immediately take out the cap along with other bathing accessories and leave to dry.

Attention: Protect the hat from direct sunlight, and do not dry it on heating devices – silicone and rubber materials are guaranteed to melt!


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